Black Relationships : No relationships in 2011!

[babyshy1]

I was on the phone to the guy I like. We were talking about our goals in life and he says he has to alter some of his goals. One being no relationships in 2011. I feel like I'm on the sideline yet again. Whenever I feel like I'm getting somewhere with us, he says something like this. I think he mentions it every so often to make sure we are on the same page at all times. He's already told me that emotionally he doesn't know what he wants and I understand that. He asked if I was okay with just chilling and I said I was because we were just "chilling".

Last week we got pretty close and we kissed. He did make sure that I was cool with it all and that I wasn't uncomfortable. I went home thinking okay so we are doing more than chilling and I guess in the back of my mind hoping we would be more than friends soon.

I don't want to continue with anything intimate if I'm just going to be just seen as "casual". We agreed that people should spend more time getting to know each other before jumping into a relationship- But come on no relationships in 2011. Am I expected to wait for him? no thanks

So what's a girl to do?

**edit** I forgot to mention that he just got out of a relationship a few months ago, He got hurt in that relationship and he tries to avoid talking about it. I don't think he is really over it to be honest.

 

[jamesfrmphilly]

So what's a girl to do?

find another man just like you found that one.........

 

[Genuine]

No relationships for a whole year? I don't get it. How can someone hold out for a whole year? I mean, we all meet different people every day. There's something else going on that he isn't telling you.

 

[Destee]

I was on the phone to the guy I like. We were talking about our goals in life and he says he has to alter some of his goals. One being no relationships in 2011. I feel like I'm on the sideline yet again. Whenever I feel like I'm getting somewhere with us, he says something like this. I think he mentions it every so often to make sure we are on the same page at all times. He's already told me that emotionally he doesn't know what he wants and I understand that. He asked if I was okay with just chilling and I said I was because we were just "chilling".

Last week we got pretty close and we kissed. He did make sure that I was cool with it all and that I wasn't uncomfortable. I went home thinking okay so we are doing more than chilling and I guess in the back of my mind hoping we would be more than friends soon.

I don't want to continue with anything intimate if I'm just going to be just seen as "casual". We agreed that people should spend more time getting to know each other before jumping into a relationship- But come on no relationships in 2011. Am I expected to wait for him? no thanks

So what's a girl to do?

Babyshy1 ... i get the impression that this Brother respects you greatly, but is not interested in a relationship with you. So he is very gently, tenderly, trying to let you know that, without hurting you.

He's saying that for the entire year of 2011, he will have no relationships ... that's meant to discourage you from wanting one with him, without saying straight out ... I DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU (in 2011 or ever, problee).

He is constantly reminding you that we're just chill'n, right ... making sure you remain on that page ... so your feelings / desires don't get any more involved than they are.

Yeah ... the kiss happened, and immediately after it did ... you thot it meant more ... when i'm sure ... it was problee "just a kiss" with no additional hope or promises attached, on his end.

Yeah ... this sounds like a really nice Brother ... doing all he can to let you down easy.

Appreciate that. Thank him for it ... and take heed to his kindness.

Many a Brother would take advantage of your interest / hope ... take all your stuff ... coochie and everything ... and be look'n at you like ... WHAT!? ... i never wanted you.

Yep ... sounds like a very good Brother ... that cares about a very good Sister's (you) feelings.

What should you do? Thank God for such a good friend, and look elsewhere for a relationship.

Just my opinion.

Thanks for Sharing!



Destee

 

[Mikha'el]

deng =/

all we can say is accept ur loss pick urself up n find u someone else