Black Relationships : No relationships in 2011!

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by babyshy1, Oct 24, 2010.

  1. babyshy1

    babyshy1 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I was on the phone to the guy I like. We were talking about our goals in life and he says he has to alter some of his goals. One being no relationships in 2011. I feel like I'm on the sideline yet again. Whenever I feel like I'm getting somewhere with us, he says something like this. I think he mentions it every so often to make sure we are on the same page at all times. He's already told me that emotionally he doesn't know what he wants and I understand that. He asked if I was okay with just chilling and I said I was because we were just "chilling".

    Last week we got pretty close and we kissed. He did make sure that I was cool with it all and that I wasn't uncomfortable. I went home thinking okay so we are doing more than chilling and I guess in the back of my mind hoping we would be more than friends soon.

    I don't want to continue with anything intimate if I'm just going to be just seen as "casual". We agreed that people should spend more time getting to know each other before jumping into a relationship- But come on no relationships in 2011. Am I expected to wait for him? no thanks

    So what's a girl to do?

    **edit** I forgot to mention that he just got out of a relationship a few months ago, He got hurt in that relationship and he tries to avoid talking about it. I don't think he is really over it to be honest.
     
  2. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    :fyi: find another man just like you found that one.........
     
  3. Genuine

    Genuine Member MEMBER

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    No relationships for a whole year? I don't get it. How can someone hold out for a whole year? I mean, we all meet different people every day. There's something else going on that he isn't telling you.
     
  4. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Babyshy1 ... i get the impression that this Brother respects you greatly, but is not interested in a relationship with you. So he is very gently, tenderly, trying to let you know that, without hurting you.

    He's saying that for the entire year of 2011, he will have no relationships ... that's meant to discourage you from wanting one with him, without saying straight out ... I DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU (in 2011 or ever, problee).

    He is constantly reminding you that we're just chill'n, right ... making sure you remain on that page ... so your feelings / desires don't get any more involved than they are.

    Yeah ... the kiss happened, and immediately after it did ... you thot it meant more ... when i'm sure ... it was problee "just a kiss" with no additional hope or promises attached, on his end.

    Yeah ... this sounds like a really nice Brother ... doing all he can to let you down easy.

    Appreciate that. Thank him for it ... and take heed to his kindness.

    Many a Brother would take advantage of your interest / hope ... take all your stuff ... coochie and everything ... and be look'n at you like ... WHAT!? ... i never wanted you.

    Yep ... sounds like a very good Brother ... that cares about a very good Sister's (you) feelings.

    What should you do? Thank God for such a good friend, and look elsewhere for a relationship.

    Just my opinion.

    Thanks for Sharing!

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  5. Mikha'el

    Mikha'el Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    deng =/

    all we can say is accept ur loss pick urself up n find u someone else
     
  6. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    Nicely speaking he's telling you that y'all can be friends and nothing more
    surely he will have a relationship but it wont be with you , try to accept it
    move on and there are other nice guys out here who you can start a relationship
    with.........don't become his prey for the takens and let it go !

    best thing is move forward or just tell him you like him and thought you two
    could have a relationship , maybe he not aware that you like him in that way
    why he said that and again think about it, he said he have to make changes to
    his life goals and maybe dating and entering a relationship not in the plan !

    Fine another guy sis..............move forward and on and keep y'all friendship.

    Good luck
     
  7. Kemetstry

    Kemetstry going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Basically, what he has done is laid out his game plan. Which is, "I'm in it just for the funsies. So dont go getting serious.

    So if all you want is casual dating and sex, then he's the guy for you. That way, when you catch him with Quwanteesha you dont have the right to go trippin.

    If you want a decent guy that will be into you, leave now and start your search
















    :em0200:


     
  8. babyshy1

    babyshy1 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I forgot to mention that he just got out of a relationship a few months ago, He got hurt in that relationship and he tries to avoid talking about it. I don't think he is really over it to be honest.
     
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