Black People : No reason to ever get defensive against "disrespectful" words, here's why.

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by Black Squared, Mar 18, 2010.

  1. Black Squared

    Black Squared Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Why do people say disrespectful things? To annoy/anger/hurt you. If what a person is saying about you is not true, why get upset? You KNOW it's not true. You don't need them to know, you are the only person who needs to know. If what they say IS true then again, why get upset? They told the truth.

    Example: If I call you all idiots, why would you have any reason to get upset? You either are or are not idiots. In either case you know the truth and if you're not an idiot me calling you one doesn't make it so. If you think yourself to be an idiot then I told you what you already knew so what's the problem? You're not an idiot, don't think yourself one.

    NEVER surrender your power to ANYONE.
    NEVER surrender your power to ANYONE.
    NEVER surrender your power to ANYONE.

    Repeat that over and over. We can't control what others think of us and if it's negative there is no reason to care. We are NOT N words, leave that word out of your mind, it holds no power over you and you hold no power over changing it's meaning no matter how you spell it or what context you use it in. Words only have the power you give them, don't give them any.

    This is the first step in healing ourselves from the inside out. :)
     
  2. Black Squared

    Black Squared Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Is this too much for everyone or what? No comments?
     
  3. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I agree with what you said...But there's nothing wrong with being offended it's how you react to being offended.

     
  4. Black Squared

    Black Squared Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    That's my point, there's no point in being offended in the first place. You become a victim when you get offended and that's surrendering your power no matter how you react.
     
  5. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Have you ever been offended? And what do you do if someone comes and tries to offend you?

    Because as humans we are bound to be offended more than once in our lifetime.

     
  6. Black Squared

    Black Squared Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    The point of this thread is to help us get over this. Of course I have been offended, that's not the point. The point is to grow past this.
     
  7. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Hey Sister ... i'll try to answer your questions ... :)

    Yes, I have been offended MANY times! When such attempts are made now, it's like water on a duck's back, but I had to grow to this place. In the beginning my feelings were hurt all the time! Like Brother Black Squared said, oftentimes that is the person's intent, to hurt your feelings ... and until you get a handle on it ... you'll respond exactly like they want you to. Like a puppet on a string, every time they pull, your arm goes up ... they pull, your arm goes up ... they pull, your arm goes up. That makes them in control of your feelings and emotions, not you.

    For you to be in control, when they pull, you gotta look at 'em like they're krazee ... :D

    Game over. They gotta try and find something else to hurt you with ... and depending on how much they dislike you ... they'll keep looking, making stuff up even ... and then you begin to realize ... there's something wrong with them ... that it's not you at all ... and you reason that it's probably best to keep your distance from such people.

    Yes, a person may offend you once, even twice ... but any more than that ... and it's on you ... you're letting them.

    Our very own Brother ClarKint told me years ago ... just deactivate the button that they're pushing.

    Right now they push it, and you get insulted, offended, etc., make it so when they push it, nothing happens! :wink:

    Then you have control of your emotions, not someone else.

    Hope this helps.

    Love You! :grouphug:

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  8. Black Squared

    Black Squared Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Exactly. Deactivate those buttons is right
     
  9. Kamau47

    Kamau47 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    So let me get this straight.
    If a white man comes up to me, and calls me the "N" word, I am not to get upset?
    Is this what is being said?
    This sounds all well & good, but respect is something that I have earned by living the years that I have, the way that I have. I have earned respect because I have given respect.
    If anyone disrespects me, then I will judge the situation, and act accordingly. But it will not go un-acted on. Right or wrong, that's just the way it is.
     
  10. Black Squared

    Black Squared Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    There is no such thing as "that's the way it is." You make your own choices. The N word is just that, a WORD. Just because someone calls you that it makes you that? No. You are what or what you think you are, not what someone else thinks. It's not up to us to MAKE people respect us and if someone is calling you that they clearly don't respect you so getting defensive won't suddenly make them respect you. If they TOUCH you then that's another story.
     
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