Black Parenting : No dating until 18?

Discussion in 'Black Parenting' started by karmashines, Jul 29, 2005.

  1. karmashines

    karmashines Banned MEMBER

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    Do you think a parent would be too strict if they didn't allow dating until their child was 18 years old and out of highschool? Also, should strict dating rules apply equally to male children?
     
  2. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I don't think it's too strict. Dating in highschool doesn't do anything but lead to sex. Which isn't bad because that's how I got mine the first time, but if you really look at it, what's the point of dating in highschool anyways? I think it all depends on the maturity of your child also. If he/ she shows they're not responsible and level-headed, then maybe they don't deserve as much freedom as someone that shows you they can be trusted. I'm not letting my daughter date until she exhibits responsibility and a certain mentality that I approve of. If she's 17 when I feel she's ready, the so be it, but no younger than that. Even though kids will do what they're going to do when you're not around, that doesn't mean you should just accept any type of behavior from them.
     
  3. karmashines

    karmashines Banned MEMBER

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    Well, if you let her do it at 17, you miswell wait a year until she's legally an adult at 18. :)

    But yeah... it's something to think about that's for sure. If I allow my child to date in highschool then it's opening up doors that aren't worth opening up at that stage in his life. And even though he's a boy, he could still ruin his life financially by getting a girl pregnant, or getting an STD.

    Granted, at some point a child is going to need to experience the pleasures and pain of relationships, but is it necessary for them to experience these things in highschool?
     
  4. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Yeah, but you know how that goes. What if she/ he is responsible and you tell them that they can't see a boy/ girl that they really because they have to wait a year until their 18th birthday. At least 17 is the last year of highschool, and if they're responsible, then why make them wait one stupid year? Like you said though, it's something to think about and weigh depending on your kids and their mindset. There really is no blueprint for this kind of stuff.
    :insane:
     
  5. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    it's a good thing for sure and i agree with Kente view of it , boys no better then girls
    it should be cross the board this how so many end up having babies and losing sight
    on education trying to date and flirt, so many kids go to school to see there little date
    and not them books ........no dating around here until you can prove you can handle it
    17 is a good age to start maybe the head is level and ready any younger is a no no in my
    house, but really can we put a restriction on it and enforce it ???

    will the peer pressure get to them or will the facts of being curious make it harder
    with a restriction to no dating ???

    I believe if they are under guiding and good teaching this will pass without going into
    the peer pressure of trying to follow what friends do or say .
     
  6. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    That's the hard part $$RICH$$, because at that age, other kids and peers are such a driving forsce that they may find it hard to stick to their parents rules while they're being made fun of because they can't go out with the rest of the kids. I think that's where the bulk of the problems occur. When no friends are around, it's easy to abide by the rules. When you're being tormented, it's easy to give in to peer pressure. It's an impossible situation to control when you're kid will be spending 8 hrs a day away from home and around other kids.
     
  7. karmashines

    karmashines Banned MEMBER

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    This is why it's best for parents to send their kids to private schools or homeschool them if they can afford it.

    Though my school did have a few ghetto loud-mouths, there were still many 'clicks' where it was 'cool' to be smart and a good Christian. This included practicing sexual purity. At my school there were quite a few guys and girls that wanted to save themselves for marriage. So, if your child has the opportunity to hang out with 'good' peers like the ones at my school who care more about their spiritual and academic development than indiscriminate sexual activity, they will be less likely to be pressured into doing something they know is wrong.

    This is not to say that I will send my kid to a Christian school, because I am against this religion. But I do want to make sure that my kid is in the type of environment where his peers are a positive influence in his life.
     
  8. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    peer pressure happens even in private schools but with the right leadership
    i'm sure many get past the pressure. I was in public school and never let that
    be any pressure or a problem a true friend won't tease and pressure you over
    sex or boyfriends / girlfriends and stuff like that , it really come down to what
    kind of friends our kids have around them .
     
  9. PoeticManifesta

    PoeticManifesta Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    hmm..
    dating.. what can you do without a car? and no money? lol.. nothing!
    I was allowed to ""date" if thats what u want to call it in high school.. but, it was really jsut chilling at home... with supervision.. but some alloted privacy...
    we went places in groups anyway.. u know.. the group of girls.. met the group of guys @ the movies.. and so on..

    but i had some friends whos parents were very allowing.. i had a friend almost 2 years younger than I.. that her mom allowed her boyfriends to spend the night.. wake up.. have breakfast.. take showers.. and repeat... she never ended up pregnant.. went to college.. remained the top of her class.. but i still dotn think that was a great idea.. but it just goes against the grain..
     
  10. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    waking up whewwwwwwww that would never be allowed
     
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