Poetry Critiques : new to poetry ..need opinions

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by Spirit2All, Dec 24, 2008.

  1. Spirit2All

    Spirit2All Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Dec 24, 2008
    Messages:
    50
    Likes Received:
    2
    Ratings:
    +2
    A
    Letter to the BlackMan ​

    - From a Sista With Love

    To You,

    Afrikaan Kings, Powerful Leaders, Nubian Warriors
    (and to all black men oppressed by D-I-V-I-D-E-R-S)



    STAND UP, BLACKMAN! Your kneeling is done
    you must be worth TEN of what others call ONE.

    Sweet King, show good love – for real when you do
    BlackWoman will promise not to forsake you
    Brother, we could care less ‘bout your status in life
    We need to know you can LOVE a Black Wife.

    And take off that bling – I’d rather see your black arms
    Than substitute your virtues with Gucci-made garms

    Teach Love to your children, and make sure you’re there
    Stand proud as they blossom up under your care
    To set their foundations and provide what they need
    Is to start to empower GENERATIONS of seed

    God’s Wanted ….
    You are hunted,
    shunted
    and stunted

    It’s because you’re mightily blessed that they do it
    But d’you think that your struggles don’t strengthen you through it??

    STAND UP, BLACKMAN! Your kneeling is done
    You must be worth TEN of what others call ONE.

    Let’s walk together …..
    The time has come.

    Spirit2All xx​
     
  2. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2001
    Messages:
    69,983
    Likes Received:
    3,978
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    BUSINESS owner
    Location:
    Da~WINDY*CITY //CHICAGO
    Ratings:
    +4,178
    wow!
    welcome to destee.com poetic critique of family honesty
    welcome to da house of peace & love upon blessings

    This was well pose'd written and expressed which served me well
    the flow of it spoke loud and clear a great write spirit2All
    do continue to share and express within .
     
  3. sweet apple*pie

    sweet apple*pie Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    May 14, 2006
    Messages:
    1,034
    Likes Received:
    28
    Occupation:
    I am a student, and all though it is hardwork, it
    Location:
    East Coast
    Ratings:
    +30
    I thought this was great!

    You dont need no critique....you good! I can see the soul in you.
     
  4. queentswana

    queentswana Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2004
    Messages:
    7,007
    Likes Received:
    160
    Occupation:
    day care provider (own business)
    Location:
    Brick City
    Ratings:
    +161
    Hello and welcome
    This piece is truely awesome :bowdown:
    I love it, as is, you wrote the worth of our Black Kings quite well, ...thanks for sharing.
     
  5. HODEE

    HODEE Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2003
    Messages:
    4,912
    Likes Received:
    613
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    (RF) Technician
    Location:
    ( Alonewolf ) California.. by way of the LOU
    Ratings:
    +795

    WOW.. double wow

    STAND UP, BLACKMAN! Your kneeling is done
    You must be worth TEN of what others call ONE.

    Let’s walk together …..
    The time has come.

    I really enjoyed this flow. Welcome to Destee Spirit2All

    This flow comes deep from your clear understanding of love.
    Strength and opportunity!
     
  6. Spirit2All

    Spirit2All Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Dec 24, 2008
    Messages:
    50
    Likes Received:
    2
    Ratings:
    +2
    Wow .. thanks for your comments people ... for ages I've been looking for a site with some positive input from readers.

    I have more and will post in due time .. but some are adult themed only .. Is there another section I could post those? *blushin madly*

    Spirit2All
     
  7. HODEE

    HODEE Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2003
    Messages:
    4,912
    Likes Received:
    613
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    (RF) Technician
    Location:
    ( Alonewolf ) California.. by way of the LOU
    Ratings:
    +795
    Read the rules of the site on postings
    I am looking forward to reading you:grouphug:
     
  8. lovealexandria

    lovealexandria Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2008
    Messages:
    106
    Likes Received:
    16
    Occupation:
    NO JOb, Dream Job: Commercial Pilot
    Location:
    Jeffersonville, IN
    Ratings:
    +16
    very good. It speaks to the hearts of our young men. bravo
     
  9. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2003
    Messages:
    16,340
    Likes Received:
    114
    Location:
    Northeast
    Ratings:
    +122
    I love how this speaks to the essence of Black men, the strength, the determination that lies within each of them. Such pride oozes from each line, well done poetess.
     
  10. mizjoice

    mizjoice Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Feb 4, 2007
    Messages:
    397
    Likes Received:
    36
    Occupation:
    to encourage and support
    Location:
    Memphis, TN
    Ratings:
    +36
    Like a valentines day card to the Black Man (early!) Sis, your title said your'e new to this, but i can't tell......this write here seems like you been doing it a long time. flow on. poet!
     
Loading...