Black Short Stories : New story I started Feedback PLz

Discussion in 'Short Stories - Authors - Writing' started by karterkourts, Sep 19, 2007.

  1. karterkourts

    karterkourts New Member MEMBER

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    Introduction
    Its 4:54 as I walk in pull up a chair and take a seat in a room full of pseudo-lifestyles accompanied by lies and entangled in deceit. I sit in a room with scattered individuals, yet I still feel alone. I find myself reading between the lines of delicately crafted sculptures that possess illusions of reality and fantasy. The battles of conversations that will end in either failure or success are unheard by my ears, as the bass line drops and the lyrics surround me. Familiar, yet unfamiliar scents take me to a world that I have come to know so well. A world where neon lights paint portraits upon the canvases of unwanted faces and desire is spoken through body language. A world where black lights will illuminate past and present that reveals secrets that can only be read at the threshold of ones soul. Still I’m daddy’s little girl, but Washington, Lincoln, Jefferson, and Benjamin are the only four fathers I need because at five o’clock I’ll be nothing more than a mere fantasy paid for and tipped. The lyric that once surrounded me, has now faded as a piercing voice comes flowing through the speakers. “Coming to the stage Ladies and Gentlemen~” As I consumed the last bit of my chilled contents from my glass, I knew it would be he who would help me through the night, Paul Masson, the love of my life. I glanced in the mirror to capture the last bit of my natural essences before stepping on stage. The light dimmed and the beat dropped.
     
  2. sarcasm4eva

    sarcasm4eva Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    u cant just write and leave us hangin.lol. what are you waiting for, get to writing. tyte write. this story has a lot of potential..it could end in many different ways. interested to see where u take it. keep ya head up. one
     
  3. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Your attention to detail is awesome. Like sarcasm4eva, I'm hooked. Do give us more! And btw, welcome to Destee.com!
     
  4. JAMROCK

    JAMROCK New Member MEMBER

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    Indeed...

    I too am interested in seeing where this goes. When I first started reading this I thought one thing, but that totally changed by the end of the write. Looking forward to it.
     
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