Black Relationships : New relationship, and no sex before marriage was finally introduced.

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by rapunzal24, Mar 14, 2012.

  1. rapunzal24

    rapunzal24 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I have been in a relationship for about 3 months now. This is the guy who put his hand in my lap, and I made a thread about it. Things have been good, we have given each other space, and discussed goals in life, and finally sex came up. I think he would have done it earlier, but the whole hand in lap thing probably made him a little scared, lol. Well, I have been telling him my beliefs. We didn't really get into it until the second date, I didn't go into to too much detail, I only answered the questions that he asked. I did give up some information on my own, only when it seemed appropriate. Finally, he asked what do I believe, and I told him, straight up. Ten commandments, Blacks being Hebrews....he gave me the blank stare. So, I gave him the blank stare, I decided that he would have to say what he wanted to say, this would help guide me better. He finally said, "Wow". He said that he could dig it, and he respects what I believe. No problem, that is all that I ask. Well, he tried to get a little handsy the other night, other than 3 months ago, this is the first time since then. I cooled the situation down, and we were not just making out, but it was a kiss that probably lasted a little too long. I will take the blame for that one. I pulled away, and he had this look on his face...I can't describe it. It looked like wtf, but something else was mixed in. Maybe it was anger or something else, I couldn't figure it out. He walked me to my car and gave me a kiss on the lips, and said that he would call me tomorrow. He did, but I don't want to lead him into thinking that we will eventually have sex, even though I say no. I guess I want to make sure that I am not just a challenge.

    I told him when we had the discussion about what I believe, that no sex before marriage is a must. That is what made him say wow. Anywho, I like him, and he seems to be cool, I am not saying that he is my soulmate, but I don't want to cut him off too quick. My dad says that it is a natural reaction and I need a little more time to know whether he can handle what I want. My younger brother says the same, but my older brother says no man can wait until marriage. I have also heard my father say that waiting before marriage for a man is non existent, and ridiculous. (He didn't know I heard him talking to my brother). What do the men think, how should I handle this, and is he just a dog or is there maybe hope...just maybe.
     
  2. Black-king

    Black-king Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    It depends, so far you are handling yourself well. though something like that you need pray God about it first and foremost.
    So I'd suggest you wait at least a year before you decide to get intimate with him, given that he already pass vital relationship requirements.
    1) He is a believer, if He isn't I don't suggest you go out with him. Bring him to your church, let him meet your Elders, Brothers and sisters there.
    2) He has a job and his own place.
    3) Make you guys know each other well, enough after a year or so, know his parents and friends. Afterward you guys get tested for diseases, and get all other micro stuff done, Then and only then you should consider giving yourself to him, well that's just my humble opinion.

    Shalom.
     
  3. Kemetstry

    Kemetstry going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    We've been dating three months. Both want to move to what we individually define as the next level. We know why you're here. But what reason have you given me to be here?


    ..
     
  4. MsVeraisblessed

    MsVeraisblessed Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    How long have you done this rule?.....How long did you let it last?

    Not trying to be nosy or rude....but...have you done this rule with every brother you come across to?

    Have you ever discuss this rule with your other sistas, friends, family members?

    And ahh,... how fine is this brother you talking to?

    Don't get me wrong,...I think every women should practice this rule. I know i should've,.or else i wouldn't have 5 kids. *just saying*
     
  5. rapunzal24

    rapunzal24 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I am kind of confused with your statement...can you go a little more in depth for me?
     
  6. rapunzal24

    rapunzal24 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    It has been a good minute lol! After the first brother, who was a nice dude, but he was just as immature as I was, my rule came into affect. I began to become serious about my faith and what I believe. My mom and friends know about this, one friend is cool with it, the other says I gotta test drive the car before I get married, LOL! He is pretty fine, dark, tall and oh so sexy, lol! Good head on his shoulders, and he listens well, that is something that I like about him. There are other things, but he is such a good listener....that is one of the qualities that stands out to me.
     
  7. MsVeraisblessed

    MsVeraisblessed Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Well alrighty then,...make him wait! At least that's what Joan did in 'Girlfriends'. LOL...
     
  8. rapunzal24

    rapunzal24 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Well, no sex before marriage is the rule for me, so a year is not in the cards. He does have a job and his own place, I have met a lot of his friends, and two of his sisters. But.....he isn't a churchgoing kind of guy. He believes in God, but he says he does his own thing when it comes to that. He hasn't met any of my family, and if he wants to come to church with me, I will wait until he asks about it. Praying to God is definitely in the cards for a situation like this.
     
  9. rapunzal24

    rapunzal24 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I miss that show so much, lol!
     
  10. Kemetstry

    Kemetstry going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    In a romance/courtship both parties are getting something from the relationship. What are you doing for him to keep him coming around?


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