The Front Porch : New neighbor instantly mad

kohlrabi croce

New Member
REGISTERED MEMBER
Oct 15, 2014
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Hi all,

I live in a mostly-black neighborhood, in a condonimium complex with an HOA.
There are assigned parking spaces.

There have been problems with people parking in my space. Apparently this is
a problem all over the complex, it's not just me.

So one of my new neighbors (who just moved in), parked in my space without
asking. I came back from an appointment, and his car was there in my parking spot.
I asked him nicely to not park there any more. His reaction was instant annoyance
and defensiveness. He said angrily that he had only been there for a short time.
I repeated again, nicely, that I would appreciate it if he would not park there.
It ended there, but of course now this man gives me the silent treatment.

Why? Because I'm white and he's black? Am I not allowed to even defend the property
that is part of what I'm renting? I was assertive, but I was respectful. If I had
a problem with black people, I would have known to not even consider moving here.

He didn't even have to apologize, though it would have been nice. What I would
have wished for was just that he didn't take it so personally.
 
Hi all,

I live in a mostly-black neighborhood, in a condonimium complex with an HOA.
There are assigned parking spaces.

There have been problems with people parking in my space. Apparently this is
a problem all over the complex, it's not just me.

So one of my new neighbors (who just moved in), parked in my space without
asking. I came back from an appointment, and his car was there in my parking spot.
I asked him nicely to not park there any more. His reaction was instant annoyance
and defensiveness. He said angrily that he had only been there for a short time.
I repeated again, nicely, that I would appreciate it if he would not park there.
It ended there, but of course now this man gives me the silent treatment.

Why? Because I'm white and he's black? Am I not allowed to even defend the property
that is part of what I'm renting? I was assertive, but I was respectful. If I had
a problem with black people, I would have known to not even consider moving here.

He didn't even have to apologize, though it would have been nice. What I would
have wished for was just that he didn't take it so personally.



Welcome kohlrabi croce, one thing is certain, you will not have that parking space problem here:)

Good luck with that, although your race probably didn't have anything to do with his response. He's well aware of the HOA.


"He said angrily that he had only been there for a short time."


 
Hi all,

I live in a mostly-black neighborhood, in a condonimium complex with an HOA.
There are assigned parking spaces.

There have been problems with people parking in my space. Apparently this is
a problem all over the complex, it's not just me.

So one of my new neighbors (who just moved in), parked in my space without
asking. I came back from an appointment, and his car was there in my parking spot.
I asked him nicely to not park there any more. His reaction was instant annoyance
and defensiveness. He said angrily that he had only been there for a short time.
I repeated again, nicely, that I would appreciate it if he would not park there.
It ended there, but of course now this man gives me the silent treatment.

Why? Because I'm white and he's black? Am I not allowed to even defend the property
that is part of what I'm renting? I was assertive, but I was respectful. If I had
a problem with black people, I would have known to not even consider moving here.

He didn't even have to apologize, though it would have been nice. What I would
have wished for was just that he didn't take it so personally.


:hello: kohlrabi croce ... Welcome Welcome Welcome ... :wave:

Thanks for joining and sharing!

It could be that he doesn't like to talk ... or because he's tall and you're short ... or a host of imaginables.

He may not be mad ... maybe never giving it a second thought ... maybe that's his normal disposition.

What makes you focus in on race being a major factor regarding the experience?

Welcome again ... please make yourself at home.

:heart:

Destee
 
I hope to try to understand without offending anybody. The thing is, this attitude
seems to be par for the course where I live. The section where I ended up is
thought to be the worst part of the whole complex. (Lucky me).

It may be a race thing for him and others, or it may just be the mentality of this section
that I live in. I had some problems with former neighbors (different unit), who turned
out to be ex-cons who just weren't doing very well at assimilating. They would
either park in my parking spot, or let their friends park there. And if it was just another
neighbor, they would say to the neighbor that he or she had better move their car,
or I'll have it towed. And then look at me with a pesky look, the attitude being that
somehow I'm in the wrong, I'm the one with the problem, and there's nothing wrong
with any of them parking in my spot without asking, because they all do it.

So along comes the new neighbors, and I'm hoping we can get off on a better footing,
but I'm also not going to put up with it from them either. And I was somewhat
disconcerted to see a similar attitude from the man of this family, immediately.

So far they are behaving much more respectably than the former neighbors.
I'm just wondering if there is a cultural component there. It's frustrating,
because I want to be very nice and get along, but I'm not going to put up
with it either.

I guess there's no way to really know. So now I have to just deal with the silent
treatment.

PS: I never had anybody's car towed, ever. The most I've done in that regard
is take pictures and ask the HOA to send a warning letter - to yet a different
neighbor.
 
...


Out of curiosity, but only if you feel comfortable sharing, what city and state is that, kohlrabi croce?





I hope to try to understand without offending anybody. The thing is, this attitude
seems to be par for the course where I live. The section where I ended up is
thought to be the worst part of the whole complex. (Lucky me).

It may be a race thing for him and others, or it may just be the mentality of this section
that I live in. I had some problems with former neighbors (different unit), who turned
out to be ex-cons who just weren't doing very well at assimilating. They would
either park in my parking spot, or let their friends park there. And if it was just another
neighbor, they would say to the neighbor that he or she had better move their car,
or I'll have it towed. And then look at me with a pesky look, the attitude being that
somehow I'm in the wrong, I'm the one with the problem, and there's nothing wrong
with any of them parking in my spot without asking, because they all do it.

So along comes the new neighbors, and I'm hoping we can get off on a better footing,
but I'm also not going to put up with it from them either. And I was somewhat
disconcerted to see a similar attitude from the man of this family, immediately.

So far they are behaving much more respectably than the former neighbors.
I'm just wondering if there is a cultural component there. It's frustrating,
because I want to be very nice and get along, but I'm not going to put up
with it either.

I guess there's no way to really know. So now I have to just deal with the silent
treatment.

PS: I never had anybody's car towed, ever. The most I've done in that regard
is take pictures and ask the HOA to send a warning letter - to yet a different
neighbor.
 

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