Black Poetry : Never Forget

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by Sweet Min, Oct 1, 2002.

  1. Sweet Min

    Sweet Min Member MEMBER

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    I whisper your name into the breeze
    Wind is cold against my naked flesh, trying not to freeze
    Will you hear me call out your name?
    Lonely days filled with grey, no more smiles on my face, its just not the same
    Empty feelings lying dormant in my heart that I call a graveyard
    All of your disappointments fill my tortured soul with shards
    of regret
    Bitter tears slowly blind my eyes
    Darkness circles my head like flies
    Understanding the impossible is utterly pointles
    Standing in the cold counting stars which are endless
    My voice never reaches it destination
    Lack of warmth, it doesn't have enough strength for its final confrontation
    When you see my naked cold flesh standing in the rain
    Never forget the strain in my posture, the darkness that consumes my heart and for the world to see
    my pain
     
  2. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    well dis one had me wondering
    i love how u displayed the twist of life
     
  3. Bishop

    Bishop Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    snapping my fingers on this one here...Sing yo song girl.
     
  4. LiLi

    LiLi Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    This line:

    "All of your disappointments fill my tortured soul with shards
    of regret"

    i'm just really feelin the depth of this!!
     
  5. Sweet Min

    Sweet Min Member MEMBER

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    When I wrote this, I had some serious issues. Good thing i kicked that issue to the curb last year.
     
  6. Da Street So'ja

    Da Street So'ja Banned MEMBER

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    **** MIN i feeling your pain
    hey but it can't rain all the time
    there will be some brightness
    at some point
    and here you are

    peace poet

    DSS
     
  7. LISTERSCRIBIN'

    LISTERSCRIBIN' Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    i think that there are a lot of great lines in this piece...i'm glad you are no longer in a place of where you were, when you wrote this piece. yet, i'm still lovin' the depth of melancholy that this piece possess. keep on scribin' poet.
     
  8. Amun-Ra

    Amun-Ra Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    We all stood there

    We all stood there with you and we all have stood there ourselves at some time in our lives--thanks for reminding us and sharing with us--that piece cut to the bone--Amun-Ra

    :)
     
  9. Nia Maishani

    Nia Maishani Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Incisive

    I'm sure glad to know you let that vexation go. VERY incisive. Nice work.
     
  10. baller

    baller Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    then rise
    with the morning sun
    and kiss the start of each day.

    as you go about your way
    whisper into the wind
    the name of him
    who needs you

    i will hear.
     
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