Black Relationships : Never dated a Black Man or Woman?

Willy Bravo

Member
MEMBER
Jun 26, 2018
5
2
Has anyone who has/is dating IR have a strong desire to date a BM or BW, but was starved of black companionship for whatever reason (wasn’t raised around black people, no desirable partners available, missed opportunities, etc.)?

I’ve heard a few inputs on this. I know some brothers who felt burned by BW are happy in their IR relationships and intend to only pursue IR. Some ladies felt beaten down by BM and remain single or pursue IR also. And some want to be with BW or BM but circumstances or environment made that difficult. Deep down, many will long for a black partner, especially when long term commitment, marriage, and kids come into the picture. I currently fall in the latter.

It’s a challenging thought to navigate. You ponder about how good your relationship is and if it would be worth losing for something you may never find or may end up regretting later.

With that thought in mind, do you believe it is in most peoples best interest to just be in relationships with whoever is at your disposal irregardless of color as long as they are conscious and enrich your life?
 

Hermetic

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
May 30, 2015
533
179
I've dated an Asian girl and White girl before as a teenager. I've also interacted with plenty of women from various ethnic groups via work and play. I don't care what ethnic group someone decides to date, but I will give my reason for only seeking out Black women once I was ready to marry and start a family. What I learned dealing with women of other ethnic groups is that they can sympathize (feel sorry or pity for us) with us, what they seem to be unable to do is empathize (place themselves in our shoes) with us. So I realized a woman who is not Black would never truly understand what our people go through. She would never truly understand me as a wife should understand her husband and vice-versa. In that lack of understanding, I also felt it would leave our children confused and poorly prepared for the world.
 

Senegal

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
Jun 7, 2016
649
184
Has anyone who has/is dating IR have a strong desire to date a BM or BW, but was starved of black companionship for whatever reason (wasn’t raised around black people, no desirable partners available, missed opportunities, etc.)?

I’ve heard a few inputs on this. I know some brothers who felt burned by BW are happy in their IR relationships and intend to only pursue IR. Some ladies felt beaten down by BM and remain single or pursue IR also. And some want to be with BW or BM but circumstances or environment made that difficult. Deep down, many will long for a black partner, especially when long term commitment, marriage, and kids come into the picture. I currently fall in the latter.

It’s a challenging thought to navigate. You ponder about how good your relationship is and if it would be worth losing for something you may never find or may end up regretting later.

With that thought in mind, do you believe it is in most peoples best interest to just be in relationships with whoever is at your disposal irregardless of color as long as they are conscious and enrich your life?
Personally I see IR dating as a lack of discipline and commitment. I dont mean this necessarily in a bad way. Its human behavior to rationalize a lack of discipline and commitment. When you date you make a choice. No matter how nice looking a woman is no one is forcing you to date them. This was brought home to me every time I dated outside the African race. Invariably I would see a fine sista when I was with a woman from another race and regret not being able to step to her. I found that no matter how conscious a non Black woman was she simply couldnt relate to me like a Black woman could. This ability to relate was extremely important to me. I also understood later that just the optics of me being with a non Black woman was another slap at Black women regardless of if I meant it or not. I almost got married to a Thai woman that was definitely down for me but just that lack of being able to relate caused me not to make that step. Luckily I met my Black queen and got more from that joining than I could ever imagine. I wont judge another Black person for dating outside their race but I dont consider them 100% committed to the Black race.
 

brutervrot

New Member
MEMBER
Nov 29, 2018
3
0
I met a girl, there was one date, we met on this site meetville.com/catalog/us/cg-1-interracial/5287/indian, I have not met before. It was great, but she went home.
 

Symbol of America

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
Oct 1, 2017
2,763
1,730
East America
Occupation
RET: EMS & TPD
I've dated an Asian girl and White girl before as a teenager. I've also interacted with plenty of women from various ethnic groups via work and play. I don't care what ethnic group someone decides to date, but I will give my reason for only seeking out Black women once I was ready to marry and start a family. What I learned dealing with women of other ethnic groups is that they can sympathize (feel sorry or pity for us) with us, what they seem to be unable to do is empathize (place themselves in our shoes) with us. So I realized a woman who is not Black would never truly understand what our people go through. She would never truly understand me as a wife should understand her husband and vice-versa. In that lack of understanding, I also felt it would leave our children confused and poorly prepared for the world.
Personally I see IR dating as a lack of discipline and commitment. I dont mean this necessarily in a bad way. Its human behavior to rationalize a lack of discipline and commitment. When you date you make a choice. No matter how nice looking a woman is no one is forcing you to date them. This was brought home to me every time I dated outside the African race. Invariably I would see a fine sista when I was with a woman from another race and regret not being able to step to her. I found that no matter how conscious a non Black woman was she simply couldnt relate to me like a Black woman could. This ability to relate was extremely important to me. I also understood later that just the optics of me being with a non Black woman was another slap at Black women regardless of if I meant it or not. I almost got married to a Thai woman that was definitely down for me but just that lack of being able to relate caused me not to make that step. Luckily I met my Black queen and got more from that joining than I could ever imagine. I wont judge another Black person for dating outside their race but I dont consider them 100% committed to the Black race.
These are the two most candid and frank comments in this thread. IR relationships are not as complex as America's pot stirring jealous White males who must have invented the historical "HATE STARE" we've all been witness to and tongue dragging insecure Black males who truly believe that to date anything White be they 1.5 metric tons with 3 rotten teeth is right. To be perfectly honest it comes down to this. Close your eyes and when it's over could you really tell the difference of the race of who you're with between the magic second and afterglow? You all know where I'm going with this so be straight up. Love at first sight is nothing more then lust and it's all about the eye candy that appeals to you and more so the arm candy you show off to your friends, family, co-workers and more so the haters. If White does that for you then go for it. I feel the bottom line to IR longevity is a-okay as a casual relationship but anything more serious that brings forth our future is detrimental to their physical well being as targets of hate, derision and jealousy from misguided detractors and mental stability from the turmoil caused by misguided parents who fail to acquire the much needed skills to overcome what some or even most feel is a societal aberration. Not saying IR relationships is a failure, just difficult to manage if you lack the skill, fortitude and power to control your destiny and our blended futures safety and mental balance.
 

Angela22

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MEMBER
Feb 26, 2013
6,764
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do you believe it is in most peoples best interest to just be in relationships with whoever is at your disposal irregardless of color as long as they are conscious and enrich your life?
I think most people should know what is in their own best interest. lol

For myself, I couldn't just live with any ol' guy who's "at my disposal".

I want a man who's on my level. And I at his.

I don't think it's just color, but culture and history at work when in a relationship, and I don't believe ignoring that part is healthy.
 

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