Black Relationships : Never approached as a black woman

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by havokb, Apr 14, 2017.

  1. havokb

    havokb New Member MEMBER

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    I am never approached by men as a black woman. Not even black men approach me, or at least only one has. And no offense, sometimes I see unattractive black women with unattractive black men. Maybe its because I am not light skin.....? People tell me I have a babyface and it doesn't help that I am a petite girl. People always ask me for my age all the time. 5'6 and weigh 125 lbs and I am 21 and in college. I don't go to bars or nightclubs.

    I am not an ugly girl because strangers call me beautiful/pretty. I am Nigerian-American and I have Sudanese men ask me if I am Hausa and that I am really attractive. One Sudanese man asked if I have a bf and when I told him I never had one before he was surprised and said I was really pretty and said that he sees ugly women with bfs. Or sometimes on the street, a man will say I am beautiful but still never approached. Then, I see many white guys staring at me but never approaching me. Why it that I am still never approached by any men-not even aggressive black men?
     
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  2. Black Cypher

    Black Cypher Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Hard to say. Different people have different opinions about what is attractive and what is not. Sounds like your complaining that men are not reacting or responding to you as you think they should. I'm not going to blame you or make any groundless personal attracts because that is not necessary. But your story is unusual. Have you asked any close personal friends about their personal observations and opinions about your appearance or demeanor? Just curious...
     
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  3. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    no one on the internet can help you. go find some counseling.
     
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  4. Angela22

    Angela22 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Well, if people think you have a babyface, maybe some guys think you're too young.

    In any case, men aren't obligated to approach even women they think are beautiful.

    Also, you don't have to wait for a guy to approach you; you're allowed to approach guys you like, if you want.
     
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  5. 103 ao kiji

    103 ao kiji Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Take it from me, just because you're hot doesn't mean when people see you they'll immediately be interested, and approach, on the contrary attractive people usually don't get approached because their looks act as a sort of barrier, people might see you; and like what they see, but are weighing the odds on their attempt of picking you up succeeding. Usually they want to avoid the blow of rejection, so they evade, it can be many reasons why they don't approach, but being attractive doesn't necessarily mean you will attract people with ease, most of the beauties I know remain single most of the time, especially the real "ladies". These women give off an aura that makes it difficult for men to approach
     
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  6. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    :hello: havokb ... Welcome Welcome Welcome ... :wave:

    I often hear Sisters worried about not having the attention of a man / men.

    It does not matter their origin, beauty, color, height, weight, age, nothing ... it seems universal.

    I'm sure you have heard this before, but you should not worry about it too much.

    In fact, it may be to your absolute benefit that they are overlooking you.

    Some men ... no matter their color ... do not have a young woman's best interest at heart.

    Additionally, when Sisters become overly concerned about such, they simultaneously become more vulnerable.

    21 is very young with plenty of time to court and date and such ... he will come.

    Try to focus on your studies, your goals (that do not require a man), your life, family, interests, etc.

    I know it's hard to do, when what you want is not present, yet at the forefront of your thoughts.

    Sometimes what we want is not what we need ... and the universe knows this and delivers accordingly.

    I also started a thread on Hausa ... :) ... thank you for introducing the term to us! ... :yaay:

    Thank you for joining us and sharing and please make yourself right at home!

    Much Love and Peace.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  7. Angela22

    Angela22 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I think you best explained it, 103 ao kiji. Being that you're a man, I take your word on this.
     
  8. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    :11200:i'm a man too...you ever take my word ????
     
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  9. Angela22

    Angela22 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Of course! There have been plenty of times I've backed you! But this time around, you just told her to get counseling. :lol: That doesn't explain why guys won't approach.
     
  10. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    :11100:i do not think anyone's personal problem can be solved via internet. is that so far out ????