Black People : Need some advice

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by chockiss125, Jul 9, 2003.

  1. chockiss125

    chockiss125 Member MEMBER

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    I am an only child and I live with my parents because the rent is c heaper than if I moved out on my own. Well, in the next 2 years we all will be moving to the South (because it was my idea to move there because of the cheaper cost for rent) and I will be buying a house there, we would all live together and we will be spliting the mortgage. But I don't know if this is a mistake or not. I want to get a place of my own, but I want my parents to move with me to the South because I would not move on my own. Also, I am shy and I don't make friends easily, so if anything happened, I would have family down there. I am 39 years old. I have lived at home all my life except when I went to college in the South for 2 years. I have always paid for expenses while I lived at home, so my parents' have no problem with me continuing to live at home. So I need to know whether or not still living with my parents (even though I will own the house) would be an advantage to me or not.
     
  2. yaphet al-wynn

    yaphet al-wynn Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    No, do not do it. Don't know where you are from. If you make a decent salary when you get here or is transferred from your job-the cost of living will kick in, in that, yes things are cheaper here but the pay may not be what you are used to initially when you move South from say New York or California for example. But if you have a job with a decent salary, you can afford necessary stuff. Broach the idea with them(your parents) first of moving South, staying temporarily with them and seeking your own place later.Gauge their reaction along with what they say and therein could be your answer.
     
  3. chockiss125

    chockiss125 Member MEMBER

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    Thanks Yaphet. I am from Philly and I won't have a job when I get down South, but I am planning to save money and I didn't know whether living with them or not would be a good thing. But like you said, it doesn't have to be a permanent thing. Also, I didn't know if living with my parents would be seen as a negative thing by men who (even though I am shy) might be interested in me.
     
  4. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Chockiss125 ... Welcome To The Family!

    With both my parents being deceased, the thought of living with them for all of my first 39 years seems like it would have been heaven on earth. What i wouldn't give, now that they're gone, to have been able to wallow in their unconditional love, security, warmth, and wisdom for such a long and uninterrupted amount of time. You are Blessed. I'm sure they love having you with them as well and depend greatly on your being there. It really is beautiful. I don't know how "normal" it is though. Part of parenting is preparing the child to leave the parent and live life on their own. If i were you, i wouldn't care so much about a man thinking it is negative that you live with your parents. I would be concerned with how well you will fare without them, if ever you are faced with such.

    You all obviously have no problem living with each other and getting along together. It really is beautiful and if they are willing to move to the south with you ... i say go for it. I'd give all that i have to be able to live with my parents right now. To even see their face, smell their scent, or hear their voice. Yes Sister, you are blessed.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  5. chockiss125

    chockiss125 Member MEMBER

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    Thanks Destee! I am also concerned about how "normal" my situation is and how it is perceived, but I do know people older than I am, one is a woman who is 2 years older than me whose mother lives with her, but the only thing is that she can not entertain her boyfriend in her home unless her mother goes on vacation. They usually get a hotel room. The other person is a man who is my age who lives with his mother, he stays with her because it is cheaper than living on his own and she being an elderly woman, it is safer for him to live there with him. I rather have my own place for privacy but if I live there if anything happens to them, I don't have the burden of trying to pack up and sell a house because I live there. So there are pros and cons.
     
  6. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Chockiss25 ... don't even worry about "normal," even though i mentioned it. Everyone's "normal" is different and you're entitled to your very own "normal." :) This is normal for you. It's your life. You obviously love it because you're continuing to do it. Your parents love it because they are allowing it. You owe no one an explanation for the choices in your life. If you like it, the rest of us should be loving it. Enjoy Sister!

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  7. chockiss125

    chockiss125 Member MEMBER

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    Thanks Destee, I appreciate your advice.
     
  8. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    You're very welcome Sister. Please join us in our own voice chat. It's a live 24 / 7 affair, someone's always there. Might help with that shy thang you got! :)

    www.destee.com/chat

    :heart:

    Destee
     
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