Discussion in 'Beauty - Black Hair Care - Fashion' started by prettyscars, Oct 30, 2009.
do women with natural hair think themselves better then perm-getter's?
Hey Sister PrettyScars ... Welcome Welcome Welcome ...
Thanks for joining us. Great Question!
Now, i aint no psychologist or nuth'n .... though i am the Birther of the #1 World Psychologist ... and i think i might be sorta psychic sometimes ... so i'll answer
I think every thing is set up, to make us think we are better, stronger, smarter, prettier, etc., than another Sister or Brother. We have lots of gauges we use, in making these determinations ... it's not just natural or permed hair. We'll use anything to try and set ourselves up over the next Sister or Brother, anything at all.
But in defense of the over-zealous natural Sisters ...
When I first went natural, the energy was so euphoric, the kind you wanna tell everybody about!
It immediately grows into a greater sense and appreciation for self, and the desire is natural, to want all those you love to feel it too. :luvv:
I'm sure I got on my Daughter's nerves in the beginning ... lol ... i know i did ... 'cause she'd wanna fight her own Momma!
I think it's more like the smoker that quits, then harasses all of his old smoker friends to quit too.
Sisters who have gone natural, have to be sensitive to the rush of energy, utilizing and balancing it properly. We must remember, to think or say anything negative about the permed Sister, we are saying it about our self, our Momma, Sisters, Daughters, or Cousins ... for one or all of them have been permed at some time or another ... yes, the women we come from and have the greatest bonds with. It's really a two-edged sword for us, with the ability to kill (in their Spirit), rather than heal. And being natural is all about healing, at least for me. So we should be careful how we use this new found energy.
It's almost psychotic, split personality, twisted dimensional, kinda thought processes ... for one to think a part of their own self, is worse or better than another part. All the parts have been given to us by God, and do count. We are all a part of our Momma, Sister, Daughter, Cousins, etc., looking krazee thinking ourselves better than any one of those. It aint too many Sisters in the world, that's gotta go outside their own Family, to find some permed hair. So how somebody gonna even be trying to be better than a permed Sister outside her Family, when she can't be no better than the ones in her Family. Feel me?
That Sister is still healing, as we all are, so be patient with her ...
So ... yes, some could (erroneously) think they're better ... but if that's the worst that she thinks ... let's love her anyway ...
Welcome again Sister! Please make yourself at home, because you are!
This is propbably off thread.....
I was speaking with a woman at work who said that natural hair was nice and all but that Black people's hair is unmanageable without chemical assistance. I vehemently disagreed with her and said we only find it 'unmanageable' because we were taught that.
Once I accepted my natural hair in all it's glory, I found it not only manageable, but beautiful. I'm not hating on chicks who perm there hair... much... but if you choose to perm your hair do so because that is a choice not out of fear or ignorance.
That is true ,fear of unmanage hair because you go natural is just not really knowing
the beauty and the hair great natural look is very manageable..........I agree
Yes, I did think of myself as 'superior' to those addicted to getting a relaxer. I thought all black sisters with natural hair were far more astute and conscious than relaxed sisters.
Then I met some that weren't. Still talking that game of good hair and bad hair, and I'm convinced that many black women get locs because they still don't know how to care of or manage their unloc'd natural hair.
As I've grown I've evolved. I'm still a nappy militant but not as much as I use to be, and I've evolved more into being a 'nappy evangelist' over being a nappy militant. I don't just preach nappy hair, I SHOW it through a variety of styles and share hair care maintenance. I realize that getting a relaxer wasn't so much about imitation of white people (or our favorite hair group - native americans), but of managing nappy hair and still being acceptable to our workplace colleagues. Many of us still don't know how to braid or cornrow and we lack imagination of what to do with natural hair, even on our daughters.
So do I feel 'superior' or more 'conscious' to relaxed headed women? Yeah, sometimes I still do. I've been natural for about 14 years, and I know that if I ever wore a weave or wig or got a perm, I know it's one of the many hair OPTIONS available to me, not a necessity. When you feel it's a necessity and are afraid to showcase your natural hair (or even go bald - which I've done 4 times already... and no my hair wasn't falling out, it a conscious choice to shave it off) - then there is a little part of me that is smirking on the inside and feeling sorry for you.
It isn't about better or worse, it's about whether or not you love yourself as you are or do you need to hide your natural hair under a facade to "appear" beautiful to people who don't respect you as you are.
Then I met some that weren't. Still talking that game of good hair and bad hair,
Wow, yes, I have heard this too. I couldnt believe it. I wrongfully assumed that because some sisters are natural that they have fully embraced their natural hair and are really in love with it. I was wrong and now realize that this is not always the case.
... and I'm convinced that many black women get locs because they still don't know how to care of or manage their unloc'd natural hair.
NOw, I have been wondering about this for quite some time especially since locking became more trendy. I know that some loc for spiritual reasons although I'm not sure what those are. But there are some who claim to have locked to escape the burden of having to maintain their hair. I'm paraphrasing but that is pretty much the jist of what a lot of people tell me that have locked hair. Some people with locs also say that they like that its easier to get length and that "whip action". At this point I realize that people are locked and natural for soooooo many reasons that may or may not have anything to do with embracing their natural selves.
It's funny how people think natural hair is so much harder to manage. I used to think the same thing, but as I recall, when my hair was permed it required just as much if not more maintenance than it does now that it's natural. I had to use curling irons, flat irons, blow dryers, jel, mouse, hair spray, AND pins to keep it in place, and god forbid you got it wet, lol! That's the best part about a natural. 80% humidity outside? No problem! Bring it on baby!!!
They both require the same amount of maintenance. It's just that one requires a different form of maintenance than the other.
"nappy evangelist" lol
I don't think it is a case of better than. I think it is just whatever way the woman wants to wear her hair.
The only reason I stopped having my hair hot combed was because of the time and money involved. I had a perm only twice in my life, and that was so long ago I don't even remember when and I never had a weave.
Most woman simply wear their hair whatever way they feel comfortable. If it was required for me to again hot comb my hair to get a job, I would do so.
In some cases perming may be due to health reasons. If a woman have a physical problems which makes it difficult to reach above her shoulders, a perm would make it easier for her to do her hair on a daily basis.
I tend to see value in all, and don't look at things like better than since each individual is unique.
Someone mistook me for someone else asking how I wore my hair and I let them know that I did not wear a weave. I mainly was tired of them mistaking me for someone else when I had told them before I was not the other person. That was not the first time someone questioned my hair and I simply let them know the truth.
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