Black Jokes Humor : n the courtroom

Discussion in 'Black Jokes Humor' started by Alkebulan, Sep 16, 2002.

  1. Alkebulan

    Alkebulan Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2002
    Messages:
    833
    Likes Received:
    8
    Occupation:
    slacker
    Location:
    boringham, alabama
    Ratings:
    +8
    the massachusetts bar association lawyers journal reported the following r 22 ? s actually asked of witnesses by attorneys during trials &, n certain cases, the responses given by insightful witnesses:

    1. "now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies n his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?"

    2. "the youngest son, the 20-yr old, how old is he?"

    3. "were u present when ur picture was taken?"

    4. "were u alone or by urself?"

    5. "was it u or ur younger brother who was killed n the war?"

    6. "did he kill u?"

    7. "how far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?"

    8. "u were there until the time u left, is that true?"

    9. "how many times have u committed suicide?"

    10. Q: "so the date of conception (of the baby) was august 8th?" A: "yes."
    Q: "and what were u doing at that time?"

    11. Q: "she had 3 children, right?" A: "Yes."
    Q: "how many were boys?" A: "None."
    Q: "were there any girls?"

    12. Q: "u say the stairs went down to the basement?" A: "Yes."
    Q: "and these stairs, did they go up also?"

    13. Q: "mr. slatery, u went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't u?" A: "i went 2 europe, sir."
    Q: "& u took ur new wife?"

    14. Q: "how was ur 1st marriage terminated?" A: "by death."
    Q: "& by who's death was it terminated?"

    15. Q: "can u describe the individual?" A: "he was about medium height & had a beard."
    Q: "was this a male, or a female?"

    16. Q: "is ur appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which i sent to ur attorney?" A: "no, this is how i dress when i go to work."

    17. Q: "doctor, how many autopsies have u performed on dead people?"
    A: "all my autopsies r performed on dead people."

    18. Q: "all ur responses must b oral, ok? what school did u go to?" A: "oral."

    19. Q: "do u recall the time that u examined the body?" A: "the autopsy started around 8:30 p.m."
    Q: "and mr. dennington was dead at the time?"
    A: "no, he was sitting on the table wondering y i was doing an autopsy."

    20. Q: "u were not shot n the fracas?"
    A: "no, i was shot midway b/t the fracas & the navel."

    21. Q: "r u qualified to give a urine sample?" A: "i have been since early childhood."

    22. Q: "doctor, b4 u performed the autopsy, did u check 4 a pulse?" A: "no."
    Q: "did u check 4 blood pressure?" A: "no."
    Q: "did u check 4 breathing?" A: "no."
    Q: "so, then it is possible that the patient was alive when u began the autopsy?" A: "no."
    Q: "how can u b so sure, doctor?" A: "b/c his brain was sitting on my desk n a jar."
    Q: "but could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
    A: "it is possible that he could have been alive & practicing law somewhere."
     
  2. wildflower7

    wildflower7 Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2001
    Messages:
    1,303
    Likes Received:
    4
    Occupation:
    motherhood
    Location:
    maryland
    Ratings:
    +4
    :lol:
    ROFL @ #18!!!!!
     
  3. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2001
    Messages:
    69,983
    Likes Received:
    3,979
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    BUSINESS owner
    Location:
    Da~WINDY*CITY //CHICAGO
    Ratings:
    +4,182
    man u crazy !! but i love it hahahaha!!
     
  4. divine_1

    divine_1 Active Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2003
    Messages:
    44
    Likes Received:
    0
    Occupation:
    Life Long Learner
    Ratings:
    +0
    Whats up Doc?
    That was tooo funny, i think u got me kinda biased w/ the joke game.....
    i always come on here looking for any of u'r post! That's whats up though.Thankz, Lotsa Love
     
  5. MzBlkAngel

    MzBlkAngel Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2003
    Messages:
    12,660
    Likes Received:
    191
    Location:
    somewhere ova da rainbow....
    Ratings:
    +220
    this was wild i likes it he he
     
  6. Nita

    Nita Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2001
    Messages:
    3,096
    Likes Received:
    15
    Occupation:
    youth volunteer
    Location:
    Arkansas
    Ratings:
    +17
    smh

    ....lol........ :rolling:
     
  7. queentswana

    queentswana Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2004
    Messages:
    7,007
    Likes Received:
    162
    Occupation:
    day care provider (own business)
    Location:
    Brick City
    Ratings:
    +163
    now these are very funny :grin: