Black Poetry : My very first poem

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by PlayWitItPimp05, Jul 3, 2003.

  1. PlayWitItPimp05

    PlayWitItPimp05 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    (Note: I started writing poetry at 12 years old. I just wanted you to see how my talent has grown!!!)

    To be described is to be praised.
    Every time I hear your name,
    Touch your skin,
    Or see your face
    The things you say makes
    Me feel my heart palpitate
    In and out
    Of my throat
    Into my hands,
    And out of my chest.
    I have to be blessed.
    Because I love you.
    And what is there not to love?
    Your taste,
    Your feel....
    I would kill
    If any human soul were to dare take this away.

    Love is forceful
    And a strong bond
    Once spoken is only bound to hurt
    Worse, worse, worse,
    As things get terse
    And heartbreak starts to immerse.

    My heart aches with every word you speak.
    You make me weak
    A love that cannot truly be complete
    At total risk
    A caution label should be placed on this
    thing we call a rendevouz'
    Something on the "down low"
    Creeping, sleeping
    Being with a human being
    That doesn't belong to me.

    Now, my feelings are uncontrolled
    So blatant, so bold
    Yet so strong and cold
    The things I speak make me weak
    Because I'm starting to feel heat
    And it burns me, DEEP!

    What you may think is about you baby
    is really about me.

    Flip the script
    open your eyes
    and you'll see

    That life,
    just like anything else,
    is never really what it seems.
     
  2. Rico

    Rico Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Nice flow..for a 12yr old.
     
  3. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    beautifully posed for 12 .....ya talent is awesome
     
  4. LovelyGoldenOne

    LovelyGoldenOne Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    u wrote this at 12??? wow...it was beautiful...
     
  5. PlayWitItPimp05

    PlayWitItPimp05 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thank ya thank ya thank ya.....

    I guess I was one of those remarkable kids... :angel1:

    :lol: Naw I was tha average joe....

    My skin had to toughen just a little bit earlier though.....

    :heart: :heart: PLAY :heart: :heart:
     
  6. HODEE

    HODEE Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    " What you may think is about you baby
    is really about me. "

    Great Poem. This quote is deep.

    Care to share your thoughts on this? I have an idea.. where you were going with this. Just curious.
     
  7. PlayWitItPimp05

    PlayWitItPimp05 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thanks HODEE,

    Well, when I first started writing poetry, it wasn't really from my emotion or mindset, which is unusual, because that is what most poets do. I created situations that are common among others and set them up for explanations.

    As I read it again, I believe that the situation I was trying to create was an affair going on between two people that broke up the primary relationships. While one cheater was unhappy about the primary relationship, the other one wanted to be with the other lover. This is coming from that person.

    Feel me??

    :heart: :heart: PLAY :heart: :heart:
     
  8. Virgil

    Virgil Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Good poem for a 12 year old. I couldn't have written that when I was 12.
     
  9. Alizentang

    Alizentang Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I agree wit HODEE that quote was extremeley deep especially for 12. I've read quite a bit of your other stuff and you've grown a lot in your writing. Keep on scribin
     
  10. Loveall20

    Loveall20 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Not bad,
    for a young lad.
    I like.
     
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