Black People : My Sister is Marrying a White Man

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by MenNefer, Apr 20, 2008.

  1. MenNefer

    MenNefer Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2006
    Messages:
    664
    Likes Received:
    21
    Ratings:
    +21
    Greetings Fam: (Heres the situation)

    My only sister and two brothers were raised between acorn projects in Oakland , Rimpau and Pekoe in the Crenshaw area of LA and for the most part South East San Diego. We have seen our share of drama and were primarily taken care of by our mother who struggled with Alcoholism for most of our early years. My sister, being the youngest (30 years old now) was sheltered very well by my mother during my mother's productive years of sobriety and , as a result, became immersed in the church and ensuing doctrine of "All humans are one in the body of Christ". Leaping forward, she excelled in school, got her degree and went into the Airforce and was stationed in Japan.She became deeply involved in church and community work. I love my sister and want the best for her ......she recently called me and said she is in love with a chuck who looks like dude on "My favorite martian" grown up. She is engaged to marry him in Aug and my mother really wants me and my family to go. I don't want too!

    My sister knows I don't want to and is acting oblivious. My sister supported my marriage and loves my children. My mother says my sister has not been this happy in years and lights up when this chuck calls her from his duty station (he is a major in the Airforce and a deacon)

    Am I being selfish? Should I transcend my bias and attend a ceremony that (for me) ritualizes and sustains the colonialization process?
     
  2. MRS. LADY

    MRS. LADY Banned MEMBER

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2007
    Messages:
    2,525
    Likes Received:
    261
    Occupation:
    to seek truth
    Location:
    everywhere and nowhere
    Ratings:
    +261
    Well I think that you should go. Regardless of what marriage symbolizes to any individual, for most woman it is considered the most important day of their life. Your sister is intitled to marry whomever she choses, and although you may not approve, it is one of those days that you will never be able to get back. The need to ask us what we think makes me reasonably think that you may regret not going. It's obvious that you love your sister, and go based on the fact that you love her. You may not be able to support the union, and I understand that completely. I think that would be the right thing to do. It's not always easy to put aside things we feel so strongly about.
     
  3. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2004
    Messages:
    32,000
    Likes Received:
    11,478
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    retired computer geek
    Location:
    north philly ghetto
    Ratings:
    +13,734
    hell no!

    do not pass go. do not be there. if your sister had a crack habit would you support it?
    well this is a worse thing then a crack habit.
    you ain't got no sister no more.
     
  4. thePreacher

    thePreacher Banned MEMBER

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2007
    Messages:
    1,227
    Likes Received:
    815
    Occupation:
    Agent Of Change
    Location:
    Dogville, USA
    Ratings:
    +815
    sigh ....
     
  5. thePreacher

    thePreacher Banned MEMBER

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2007
    Messages:
    1,227
    Likes Received:
    815
    Occupation:
    Agent Of Change
    Location:
    Dogville, USA
    Ratings:
    +815
    You already know in the core of your being -- the real you which is neither white nor black --- what you should do.
     
  6. Josh Wickett

    Josh Wickett Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2008
    Messages:
    108
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ratings:
    +0


    The ugly truth?

    Your sister ain't gettin no younger and the number of FUNCTION blk/nonwhite males is limited (by the white supremacists).

    I suggest you attend to study the phenomenon and ask questions.

    I have 3 siblings who have married white people and the biggest mistake they all made was not asking enough question about what they were getting in to.

    In my sisters cases, it was all about having a baby; they found older white men who were willing to "sponsor their baby project" " in exchange for the sexual ARRANGEMENT.

    In the case of my brother, I think he found it easier to be with homely white girls because they had money and all he had to provide was the d--k.

    Did I detect patterns in these sexual relationships?

    Yes.

    1. The white people were all older and had children from previous marriages to other white people.

    2. The White people were not interested in having more children; but did so to "keep" the nonwhite person.

    3. The nonwhite people had never been married and had no children.

    4. All three marriages produced one nonwhite child and ended in divorce.


    5. All three marriages resulted in the nonwhite person becoming weaker in their will and ability to do things unsupported by white people.



    Josh
     
  7. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2003
    Messages:
    16,340
    Likes Received:
    114
    Location:
    Northeast
    Ratings:
    +122
    You probably feel as though attending this wedding would be hypocritical. That your presence there appears that you are supporting this union, when in fact, you aren't. It is obvious to me that you love your sister dearly. If you don't attend, how well can you live with the ramifications of that? Peace to you brother.
     
  8. MysteryDoors

    MysteryDoors Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2008
    Messages:
    705
    Likes Received:
    21
    Ratings:
    +21

    Which ones are more important to you?

    1. Should you feel bias toward your sister for marrying someone outside of your spiritual belief?

    2. Should you love your sister as much as she loves you?
    :heart: :spinn:
     
  9. Keita Kenyatta

    Keita Kenyatta going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2004
    Messages:
    5,642
    Likes Received:
    3,328
    Gender:
    Male
    Ratings:
    +3,382
    You know, let me put it like this. Back in the day before I was ever consciously conscious...I was conscious enough to know that me and white people didn't have anything in common except that we eat, sleep, poop and breath the same air. I have 5 brothers and one sister. Now me and my second youngest brother was like two peas in a pod from the time we were 7 or 8 years old and we continued to be like that until I was 31. So when I was 31 he was 28. Because I was in the entertainment business from like 23 to 31 I was often on the road and we didn't see much of each other. But one day he knocked at my door and I opened it to let him in. After he came in I shut the door.

    He said to me; "Bro, my baby and my wife are in back of me". I said, "I'm sorry, I didn't know anybody was with you"...so I opened the door back up...and lo and behold, there was this white woman standing there holding her little white baby. I said; "Who the phuuuk is that!?" He said; "Oh, that's my wife, Elizabeth and that's my baby". I told him; " listen bro, you're welcome to come in and stay but they can't come in my house....now I don't know how we gone do this but they can't come in". He said; "Well if they can't come in I'm not coming in either". I looked at him, looked at her, looked at the baby and said; "No, what you do is get the hell out, take your white woman and your brat with you and don't come back here as long as you are with them".

    That was over 21 years ago and I've had as you can tell, a lot of time to reflect on that day, my relationship with my brother who was my heart and where I am as a person now. I understand more today than I did back then that " I lost my brother 21 years ago"....not because of what I did but because of what he did. I realize that he had plenty of time and opportunity to reach out to me to at least TRY and EXPLAIN or TRY and UNDERSTAND why I said what I said or how I felt....but he didn't. As it turned out, I was not the only one in that box. He could not take her or his brat over my other brothers or sisters house either. grandma or pa wasn't having it either and he darn sure couldn't bring her back to the hood where we was raised.

    So instead he moved to Pennsylvania with her. She was from some type of Omish community or something. Now, why did I write this.

    I wrote this because I understand now what I did not understand way back then on a conscious level. I understand that even in my ignorance back then that I still had a value about myself or our people that I was not crossing the line on and I really have no regrets about my decision I made....and it's obvious that he doesn't have any either since he has never tried to communicate with the rest of his family...meaning that he has chosen the white woman over us all.

    There's a lot that goes with this. He has given his heart to the white woman and with it, his mind....and with that, his loyalty...and with that, his life.

    I LOST MY BROTHER 21 YEARS AGO!!!...does it still hurt? Yes it does, but not half as much as it would hurt me to turn my back on everything I know to be true just for him and her.

    I wish you well with your demons of choice, not them but you....cause in the end it is yourself that you will have to live with and for and through...not them. I wish you well whatever your decision is and may you be at peace with it. I understand that it's impossible for you to support your sister out of love inside of yourself without also supporting him and that's where the internal conflict comes in...and I really feel for you in this scenario because it's obvious that you also have other family pressures on you as it regards this issue.
     
  10. Ionlyspeaktruth

    Ionlyspeaktruth Banned

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2008
    Messages:
    856
    Likes Received:
    6
    Ratings:
    +6



    You are not wrong whatever you choose! I would NOT go! But then again I just dont like that stuff! Bwaana marrying our sisters!:qqb026: I am with James on this. Maybe marrying Biff is worse than being on crack!!:10500: Be true to yourself. And comparing support for your marriage to an AFRIKAN is like apples and oranges. Follow your mind. She and Ken will get over it.
     
Loading...
Similar Threads - Sister Marrying White
  1. Kemetstry
    Replies:
    0
    Views:
    75
  2. Kemetstry
    Replies:
    0
    Views:
    74
  3. Kemetstry
    Replies:
    0
    Views:
    170
  4. jamesfrmphilly
    Replies:
    1
    Views:
    174
  5. Kemetstry
    Replies:
    0
    Views:
    221