Black Poetry : My First Time...

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by Purrrfection, Jan 11, 2004.

  1. Purrrfection

    Purrrfection New Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2004
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Occupation:
    Student
    Location:
    Detroit
    Ratings:
    +0


    This is my first time here and my first poem posted (hopefully not my last)...I hope ya'll enjoy it, it was written last night after a lil' drama I endured. Thank the Lord that he gave me the strength to move on and write about it rather than sit and sulk or cry.

    You told me you'd be there forever...
    and that we'd always be together...
    you lied to me- how could you...
    do you ever think about my feelings before you do what you do?

    The man I love has broken my heart...
    chewed up- spit out- and ripped it apart...
    there's no more us- there could never be...
    you said you cared then you cheated on me.

    I'm not gonna call you a b*tch...
    or break down and cry...
    I'm gonna remain strong with my up high...
    I was before and I'll remain after...
    this part of my life is a closed chapter.

    I loved- lost- loved and lost again...
    so why do I keep going back to this sin...
    you wouldn't understand...
    even if we got you hooked on phonics....
    not even if we broke it down for you in ebonics.

    Jay-Z said when a good girls' gone bad- she's gone forever.
    that line was just too [email protected] clever...
    cause it's true boo...
    I'm gone and left without you...
    If I never return know it was because of you...
    whatever you say- and whatever you do...
    will always... always.. come back to you.
     
  2. msluciousb

    msluciousb Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2001
    Messages:
    2,696
    Likes Received:
    5
    Occupation:
    Self Employed, Business Consultant
    Location:
    Kansas City, Missouri
    Ratings:
    +6
    DAWG...SORRY THEY SLEEPING ON YOU!

    WELCOME!WELCOME!WELCOME!
    That was smokin :yo: :yo: :yo: and this betta not be yo last time.
    Cause your writing is just off the chain and straight to the grey membrane (BRAIN)!
    Do it like this and you will always be alright...cause the average man your age can
    barely read let lone write. Take it from a Professional writer, you got some skills!
    AND PUT IT ON PAPER , CAUSE IT'S SAFER!
    Also like the way you made it clear that men have feelings too, that they cry when they
    hurt just like we do. You will love again, just take your time!

    Blessings On Your House!
     
  3. LeRoy

    LeRoy Active Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2003
    Messages:
    33
    Likes Received:
    0
    Occupation:
    student/lil caesars
    Location:
    Michigan
    Ratings:
    +0
    I'm feelin this flow.
    i know how u feel, the girls can trip too.
    thats some real talk
    KEEP WRITING AND I'LL KEEP READING
     
  4. cocobutterskyn

    cocobutterskyn Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    May 25, 2001
    Messages:
    4,182
    Likes Received:
    170
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Spreading Joy.... need some?
    Location:
    Sixburgh, Pa.
    Ratings:
    +220
    :wave: welcome to destee's


    they say love isn't suppose to hurt...
    but we know different.

    thank God it feels better with time

    writing helps... doesn't it? :)


    feelin'it souldeep!
    Coco :heart:
     
  5. caramelpython

    caramelpython Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2003
    Messages:
    2,621
    Likes Received:
    42
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Teacher
    Location:
    Baltimore Md
    Ratings:
    +42
    You keep on writing
    I loved this poem it was strong yet smooth. yes it is true once a good girl goes bad she is gone! :nono:
     
  6. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2001
    Messages:
    69,983
    Likes Received:
    3,977
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    BUSINESS owner
    Location:
    Da~WINDY*CITY //CHICAGO
    Ratings:
    +4,177
    welcome

    welcome to destee.com poetic playground
    welcome to the new home we found
    welcome to the house of love from above blessing
    ya scribe as u vibe dis was awesome read
    good to bad ..tyte keep flowing welcome :toast:
    :wave: :wave: :wave: :wave: :wave: :wave: :wave:
     
  7. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2003
    Messages:
    16,340
    Likes Received:
    114
    Location:
    Northeast
    Ratings:
    +122
    The strength to move on is indeed a blessing, the skills to write about it, a blessing as well.
     
  8. thespokesman

    thespokesman Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2003
    Messages:
    308
    Likes Received:
    1
    Occupation:
    Designer, student
    Location:
    Mo. City Tx/ Houston
    Ratings:
    +1
    wuz up kid
    this ya boy
    the "spokes"man

    and we i reallfy feel what u talking bout
    my first set of poems were about the same thing u wrote about
    welcome to destee
     
  9. poeticlyspeakin

    poeticlyspeakin Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2003
    Messages:
    1,172
    Likes Received:
    7
    Occupation:
    Living
    Location:
    Home is where the heart is, but my heart isn't her
    Ratings:
    +7
    Tyte...

    I like that Jay Z line, have to agree with it. Nice meetin ya n hope to readin more of ya...
     
  10. Bluewater

    Bluewater Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2003
    Messages:
    6,008
    Likes Received:
    44
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Praising The Lord
    Location:
    Baltimore, MD
    Ratings:
    +44
    hi :wave: and Welcoming
    :grouphug:
    This is a wonderful flow
    oh ..so so nice
    looking forward
    to read more of your flows
    Peace
    Blue :heart: