Poetry Critiques : My First drop: Entitled "Why"

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by AHMOSE, Mar 31, 2005.

  1. AHMOSE

    AHMOSE Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Why

    Why is my life a mess
    Why can’t I have a taste of success

    Why when people see me they tighten up on their purse
    Thinking I’m going to rob them or worse

    Why when I go into a store I got people following me
    I always ask them is their a show going on that I can see

    Why do people assume I’m a thug
    I do my best to show these people love

    Why they got Federal Agents watching me
    Watching me! Me! Me!
    Networking is beneficial cant you see

    Why can’t these people seem to understand
    I’m no different from them because I’m a Blackman

    Why can’t anyone seem to fill my pain
    I’m expressing my feelings even though
    I’m hurt, angry and shame

    Why is all this happening to me
    It’s hard living up to who and what you’ve been called to be

    Why me! Why me! Why did God choose me
    Obviously God is trying to teach me something what I can’t see

    God has a plan for you and for me
    Why because of dreams and visions He has for our lives
    If we just open our eyes and see
    Why because God loves you and me
    Why because it’s our destiny!

    By Godssoulja

    Copyright © MM – MMIV Poetic Ministries
     
  2. Nisa

    Nisa Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Nice drop.For the first time. Are you sure that its your first time? :pc:
    Anyways it was real real nice..nothing to critique..except it was an excellent job.. Encore Encore..
     
  3. queentswana

    queentswana Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    You ask why is your life a mess?
    I think, in your life, you've been quite blessed

    The reason why some tighten up their purse
    they simply refuse to put God first

    Here's why no one can fill your pain
    you got to learn to call the right name

    this is an awesome piece poet, and thanks for allowing me to follow the flow, it was well worth the read, keep flowing your fine work of art.​
     
  4. AHMOSE

    AHMOSE Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thank you Ladies for the words of imput....
     
  5. Mit Mit

    Mit Mit going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Godsoulja that was very inspirational for me I always used to ask myself (why?) but not anymore because God came into my life. I truly enjoyed your poem it touch my heart and soul Thanks
     
  6. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    why ! why ! this so on point
    and why this seem to be no joke
    why this awesome drop is so tyte
    i see now the poetic light
    what u did here was outstanding and thumbs up !
    don't change a thing it's a smash hit...................
     
  7. 1poetsought

    1poetsought Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Every time it rains, it rains, pennies from Heaven.

    Keep those drops comin' bro.
     
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