Black People : My Finances Are My Business? Did I Go About It Wrong?

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by legit-writer, Jul 31, 2014.

  1. legit-writer

    legit-writer Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I need a bit of input. Am I out of line to not feel comfortable discussing my finances with someone I am not in a relationship with, especially if I've never met them before? What if after I told them that I am not comfortable discussing things like that, they don't talk to me, am I at fault for them not talking to me? Am I being dishonest because I tell a person that my finances is something I just something I just don't go around discussing with folks, especially if I am not in a relationship with them, or if they are not financially responsible for me in any way, shape or form. Why or why not? Mind you, I don't ask about their finances because it's just something that's just none of my business obviously and I respect their privacy on that, so "being a reflection in what I would like to see in that person" is not even a question in this aspect. Thanks in advance. I am asking because I want to make sure I am not being a horrible person for setting boundaries.
     
  2. skuderjaymes

    skuderjaymes Contextualizer Synthesizer MEMBER

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    you're not being a horrible person. you feel how you feel.. and those feelings kick in to inform you.. listen to yourself. If the other person doesn't want to talk to you because of that.. then yes it is your fault.. but it is what it is.. and if they value their friendship they will get over it... and if they don't value your friendship and continue to give you a hard time about it.. tell them to kick rocks.. and move on.
     
  3. Dreya

    Dreya Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    dont see that you HAVE to discuss anythin you dont want to with someone else - if its part of your life you like to keep private they should respect that... wonder what theyd say if you started to ask them bout somthin private bout there life - can i just imagine there face if you just suddenly blurted out "soooo how many times a month do you get constapated???"
     
  4. legit-writer

    legit-writer Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thanks for the response. I have had years of me telling my business to folks and it did nothing but bit me in the a&& later and I have learned that if a person isn't going to help me, or if they are of no obligation or responsibility of me whatsoever, then it makes no sense in me telling them my business, especially if it's financial. People need to learn not to talk so dang much.
     
  5. Enki

    Enki The Evolved Amphibian STAFF

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    You've answered you own question right here..I took the liberty to change it a bit.

    I am asking because I want to set boundaries.


    Why should you feel guilty, or horrible? Would you feel the same way if the same person(s) asked you a your sex life?, Or sexual preference? No, you wouldn't. IMO all three subject deserve the same respect of privacy, and criteria for discussion.

    It's no body's bizness unless you make it theirs....

    Peace!
     
  6. Asomfwaa

    Asomfwaa Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Even with chains around your neck, you are at liberty to do whatever you please. Are there moral implications for being too 'libertine?' Naturally. Is it immoral for you to keep certain information private? A question for a different day.

    Although, perhaps this person is looking to advise you in some capacity. For which it could not hurt to share your information. However, if you are uncomfortable, by all means just express as much and say you would appreciate a more general conversation than one on your particulars.

    Granted, this also could be a person who wishes to extort you. So tread lightly. Some people can use the internet to find one's address from one's name. Others can use it for far more deadly consequences!
     
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