Black Spirituality Religion : My Dream World is Alive again

Discussion in 'Black Spirituality / Religion - General Discussion' started by truetothecause, Apr 6, 2009.

  1. truetothecause

    truetothecause Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Looking for feedback/insight and/or initial thoughts.
    This dream I had last night after my interactions with cherryblossom which left me feeling very vulnerable and uncomfortable. I have also recently posted about current struggles in my line of work here in this thread.
    After that thread, I began a colon cleanse. During the week of the cleanse I was aware of my dream life becoming very active and vivid….as what happened last night. Last week, during the cleansing period, my dreams were ALL themes about returning home to Afreeka. I am also planning a trip to Ghana and have been in contact with a couple Ghanians. The work in Ghana I/We have been planning also has to do with teaching the children. This was the first dream in the past few weeks that was not about being or returning to Afreeka yet, seems to trying to tell me something about myself and current life’s situations and experiences.

    If there are parts that are unclear, please ask for clarity because the dream is still alive enough for recall of details.

    *italics and blue represent active dream*

    My Dream last night 4/5/06
    Dream had two parts that merged together. It starts (from what I recall) with me….


    I’m working in a child birth center. I was helpful in being a support person for two women birthing babies ... both white. The last child born my sister is present (? Vague recollection of her presence) she or a family member…
    I do recall at one point the woman passing the baby to me to hold…then she’s settled in a bed…the dream is changing, weaving, merging to…

    There is food in some container with ice and water. I readjust the items in a more organized fashion…the mom is happy with me.
    Dreamed switching…I have got all my things together for work, the food was part of it

    I’m arriving at work after a hectic train (?) ride. I find myself arriving to work and note the clock which shows its about later than I think it’s suppose to be. I am just on time for my morning group. I realize I have left all my bags (ex. Pocket book) including my lunch (the food from the birthing center place) and keys. I see first a co-worker (kinda of unclear communication happens, and insignificant in the dream) and my supervisor who is also just arrived. I tell her I have no keys for the day. (she is my supervisor in real life, job place is different-scenery/setting) She is about to stop in her supervisor’s office yet gives me keys to use. I proceed to “group room” I tell her (I think she asked) how my weekend was-that it was good-tow successful births… she’s surprised I never told her I worked a weekend job in a birthing center…

    I pass a “nurses station” people talking I enter the group room which is behind them.

    People are milling “babies playing”- toys available in the room. I gather the group getting their attention…get them to introduce themselves…

    Scenes weaving here.. sensing I’m doing a second group now.. Some members remember me…now a mixed group with more men there.
    I invite a group exercise, One girl volunteers..she goes to the board and wants the chalk (black) that I am using instead of choosing another that is available. I remember feeling slightly irritated cause the black chalk is small and there is no more of it…and I like the black chalk…I give it to her She finishes working I look to her work and think to myself (an other group members also aware) I forgotten about how great and quick an artist she is..she has produced a kinda f moving story with great detail of her apartment

    I ask the group what they see in her work (I can’t remember what the question I asked was that prompted her drawing). I start the conversation stating I notice the beauty of the place (I can still see the image in my mind and what stands out is a wall with blue background and other images) Other members begin to share what they see..what stands out for them.
    One person noted they see no blacks ..the room is silent as everyone silently acknowledges this. I ask her what she thinks that is for her. Her images/drawing is alive because we watched a scene unfolding that included her and the male and a big dog (her dog) go upstairs..she gives the guy a hug dildo-he places it over his own penis and begins to suck it and play with it…we watch as she comes back down stris ..with him following.. I recall that as I’m standing and talking with the group I have in a my hand a dildo that is very flexible cause I’m stretching it, swinging it…as if I have a ruler or something…it’s very “normal” and no one including myself are thinking anything of it….

    Group members waiting on the girl to tell us what it means for her to have no black people in her world…she becomes embarrassed because there’s no blacks in her picture..she is extremely shy…and took a big risk going first in sharing/drawing…she leaves the group room. On member (female) comments how she will use crack again because of her inability to deal with her issues…The girl who left the room starts to come back then leaves ..she and the others WANT to trust me yet they know I can’t handle them…their stories their pain we are all struggling together with the same deeper issues…
    I’m floundering in my position and feeling very ineffective. a little more process happens or group remain engaged …somebody asks me a personal kinda of question….re: politics…my vote..Obama was candidate ..I skirt the question trying to let them know I AM like them..I can understand their struggle tho I can’t come out and answer directly (boundary in therapeutic relationship) I’m loosing the group…they go back to what they are used to in groups.. no other therapist has ever really tried to engage them and have them tell their story or talk ..

    Some members become children and began playing again as they were when I came into the room…I’ve lost the group.. I threaten to tell those outside the door (at the nurse’s station) after trying to regain control of the group I take the babies off the little bikes they are riding around the room.. there are three of them…

    One woman seems to suggest the children only listen to her
    I do begin to say something to the staff then let the group know I’ll see them next time.



    I awaken before my alarm goes off..it is one minute before alarm is to sound…I become aware of the dream life dynamic which is the same I’ve been experiencing at my job and think… “the group goes not respect me..I have not commanded respect of group members they know I “can’t handle them” they can run over me..I am not able to command respect I see connections to my current job..I frequently feel inadequate and lack respect by group members I feel vulnerable unsafe ..insufficient to help
    My supervisor knows deep down that I don’t have command of the groups she des not help tho she can She and I are currently at odds…she is white

    Consumers in dream and real life are blacks
    People outside group room..which looks like a nurses station are mixed bag and enjoying themselves…talking, laughing enjoying each other and their work

    Key features in the dream for me..

    My recurring themes in dream life:
    Children/babies, penis, dilemma/conflict with whites
    Feeling of being exposed, vulnerable
    I have always experienced myself as stepping out…putting myself out…courageously and foolishly without the ability to adequately close things or protect myself, close things properly.. vulnerable
    I do have a niece who is a gifted artist..naturally…the girl in the dream was in the image of my niece. She is dating a white guy and she grew up being exposed to messages supporting “openness” in relationships with whites…something that contradicts my beliefs as well as those of the teachings her mother once held.


    I don’t go to work today. I write this dream out with every intent to post it here seeking insight from MetaSaience first and foremost. Because he has been familiar with me and provider of insight into the dream world, Ancestral messages etc…

    Turning back to sleep in the position before I awoke asking question to my Ancestors...my mother for direction…in my life now

    I fall asleep quickly I dream I am working with children…supporting a child with learning to read…I am doing a good job with the child…she is engaged and I feel good about myself and what I’m doing…

    Dream switches..I have to go to work..there is lots of snow I get in my car (I don’t have a car now and have not had one for several years) I start to move it before allowing it to warm.. I’m turning wrong..see a couple cops..they don’t bother me…I allow the car to warm then start out…The car is pointed in wrong direction yet I turn it and start down the street….while at a stop a white woman with two dogs allows one dog…a big one …roam freely in my car…it’s sniffing and moving around my feet…It’s time for me to move the dog is out of the car (I don’t know hoe/when door opened to allow it in) I’m mildly irritated yet turn the corner.. I stop and notice the dog has destroyed my pantyhose while sniffing around my legs/feet…I stop the car to demand the woman give me at least 3 dollars to replace my stockings…she runs off into a a Chinese restaurant where there is another door and I can’t see where she goes. Another woman who is with her also white..and these people look to be poor and drug/alcohol users…says she will get her but comes back empty handed…I see a cop and ask for assistance. They agree the woman should pay me and together we go in search of the woman...at some point another cop is giving me a ticket or that may have been what prompted me to seek their help because I go back to car and they are giving me a ticket for being double parked…

    We (two black cops) go in search of the woman and come to a large areas out back from the store/building….back there are several of my husbands brother and my husband…they are all drinking alcohol..they do know the woman I’m looking for…all these people spend their time drinking and drugging together I comment to my husband…”fancy seeing you here” then realize also he is at the home of his sister ..
    I go in the house..his sister and she is going to call the white woman to come over…she usually buys drugs from her so the woman is likely to come out….the house is the first time I’ve seen her place…it’s large…unkempt lots of children and people around

    The woman never really comes out…I think I wake up..then go back to sleep and can’t recall the next dream…now…


    It may also be important to note…I frequently feel inadequate to help my people in the “behavioral health” arena and constantly question my effectiveness even here on the forum. I frequently have a sense that I am viewed as a ‘joke’ of sorts because I “run” from conflictual situations and interactions. I think…”how can I possibly be viewed as a viable helper/healer when I can’t hold my own in written dialogue”? I have experienced much abuse within the family system as well as from this broader societal system…no different I suspect than others here. I have gone through a process of “healing” prior to entering my current profession and now have a sense I am “not good enough” cause maybe I’m not fully “healed”. I’ve been throw back into a life with an active alcoholic at the same time I was working on my PhD in Family therapy. During my schooling I became fully Conscious of the metaphysical dynamics going on for Afreekan Descendants and cognizant of this shystem’s mechanisms working to destroy us. I have always been a “deep” thinker as well. .and deeply Spiritually minded or inclined. I have always ‘known’ there is something very unique and special about me…yet….my “world” has always challenged that and seems to desire I have the message….. “ain’t nothing special bout you” At the same time, I’ve continued to receive messages sorta out of the blue and from complete strangers to suggest otherwise. One incident that stays fresh in my mind is while a student @ 1999, I’m standing outside taking a break from library studies….a car with a few white boys drive by and they slur some hate-filled words at me…I think to myself something to the effect “someone’s gonna knock ya’ll off that high horse”. At that moment a Black man who appears homeless walks by me and smiling with his yellowed, tooth-missing face lighting smile says to me… “You’re the one”. He keeps walking yet I am a bit shaken. It brings tears to my heart as I recall it now as I’m wondering … “Is that real”:?:


    Again…I’m seeking your help.

    Please accept my apologies for out of order stuff and/or for the tangential nature in expression. Also, this is in the Spirituality forum cause of the Dreaming focus and the Spiritual/Metaphysical nature/implications of same.


    M.E.

    :hearts2:
     
  2. Clyde C Coger Jr

    Clyde C Coger Jr going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    In the Spirit of Sankofa and the Family!

    My Dream World is Alive again....that is good!



    Sorry Abena, I only deal with my own dreams, and that not so good:), my post here is to shout out about the positive outlook for which I am both glad and happy for you, my sister friend.

     
  3. truetothecause

    truetothecause Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thanks Clyde for responding.


    M.E.
    :hearts2:
     
  4. Clyde C Coger Jr

    Clyde C Coger Jr going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    In the Spirit of Sankofa and the Family!




    Not a problem, Abena, no, not at all...be encouraged my sister friend.

     
  5. MRS. LADY

    MRS. LADY Banned MEMBER

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    there's two children

    one white and one black...

    they are both hungry

    u have enough food for two people... do u feed the black child and urself..

    or do u feed both children...

    this dream is u talkin to urself...

    ur creating ur own insight... and that's a beautiful thing....

    i think u would feed both children...

    what i'm suggesting is that perhaps it's not so much about white and black as it is your nature to do the right thing...

    we all experience hate here in this world ...

    the child in me saw a light in u since the first time we cross'd paths here at destee...

    ur video "I beleive in the community"

    the community beleives in u...

    our powers are amazing when we can let go of the angers and pains...

    i can reach high peaks of pistivity but i block my third eye and can't c ...

    most dreams if u write them down... and just put it to the back burner .. the answers will come...

    i was having awake dreams.. and all the peices still ain't put together...

    don't stress urself

    u'll reveal these things to urself ...
     
  6. anAfrican

    anAfrican Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    good stuff!! and mass kudos to you for the strength to bring it here.

    (hmmm .... you don't seem to care much for white folks. <grin> but we all knew that, eh? gonna hafta get them out of your world, or, at least, the so-called "upper management" part of it.

    start your own program!! "masters of social services"? YUP! i'll back that play as well as i can. you know as well as i do that down here, before they get so far gone that they do something stupid and wind up stuck in the shystem, "appropriate intervention" would be a major asset!! think about it; do.

    or go ahead and "lose" that return ticket! them kids would benefit from the Love, Compassion and Skills you have to offer!)

    the "homeless guy" validated you? yeah, we always see much deeper than "normies". <grin>

    but believe it: compare the "truth" you get from some "bum" walking by and the "truth" you get from clock-punching, commercial watching white collar consumer-sheople that spend most of their lives trying to figure out how to get over on the next one or get out of what they told this one? BELIEVE IN YOUR SELF!! you KNOW your worth: if they don't see it; they lose!

    that dratted "itch" again, eh? and babies?? momma true, you go ahead on!! he'll turn up someday and maybe them babies will be there. it looks like you might want some but it also looks like you'll be good with them. giving them that which you, erroneously, don't believe you can give to your "clients".

    you are worthwhile in your chosen profession. it ain't your fault that the policies, procedures and rules of that profession make it difficult to be as good as you can be. if you could do it your way, you know that you'd be effective. hell; they keep coming back don't they? they refer other people to you, don't they?

    BELIEVE IN YOUR SELF!
     
  7. truetothecause

    truetothecause Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thank you SiS Ms. Lady!

    I did have the sense when I awakened that I was "talking to myself" through the dream. Answering the questions that have been bugging me of late. The similarities to my current job experiences was a 'dead' give away.

    They symbols that keep recurring in my dreams continue to baffle me.
    I've never shared before yet...before my dream world sorta 'quieted down" troubles me. It involved a child (my great niece) who was running up the walls and I missed catching her. She hit the ground. That shook me pretty bad as I "failed" to "save the children". Many other dreams involve the children being very playful as children are and I am usually able to catch them (save) them from the dangerous situations they get in.
    After that dream, I DID dream I was driving with that same child and we drove through a forest of sorts. At the bottom of the hill there was desolate land and as we stood looking at it, we could see green grass slowly growing. Life was being restored. We were in Afreeka, or in the dream, I KNEW this was Afreeka.
    So having these symbols return now is what prompted my posting and seeking insight others may have for me.

    IF it's TRUE that "we create our realities"....THEN....I have some BIG THINGS coming....cause...I tend to DREAM BIG....imagination! Mines is very vivid as are my dreams...most of the time.

    Maybe the things, the pain, I'm experiencing is simply preparing me for the "gain" I dream for.
    M.E.
    :hearts2:
     
  8. truetothecause

    truetothecause Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Aite anAfrican!

    I HEAR YOU and KNOW of the TRUTH'S you speak.

    lol...."courageous" and NOT foolish:?: This is not an example of my stepping out and exposing myself, placing myself in a vulnerable position:?:

    I KNOW that only a "open mouth get's fed" and I'm HUNGRY for GROWTH and fulfillment of my Spiritual purpose first and foremost.
    Man...a "coming together" with one of those symbols designed to plant seeds of life...ummmm...oops...were was I:?:

    I surely "hope" my time has come
    To LIVE under the Afreekan Sun
    My Spirit RE-united and paving the way
    Finalizing the plans for our Total Liberation Day



    Thank You for your continued belief in ...


    M.E.

    :hearts2:
     
  9. phynxofkemet

    phynxofkemet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    my first impression

    is that you were either a midwife in a past life and looking to use that skill now, or that your current stresses come from not making use of this path.
    Without being too analytical, my intuition is that you ought to study to be a midwife.

    Sorry I'll catch you again soon, but I've got to run after the baby.
     
  10. mizjoice

    mizjoice Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Dear Sistah True,

    I too applaud you for bringing your dreams to the forum. How brave of you; I don't know that I would have had the courage to do the same!

    Miss Lady properly concluded that your dreams are a message to yourself--likewise the answer to the dream, is in the dream, itself!

    Just some questions for your own consideration:

    What two projects are you "birthing" (white babies)? Do you have mixed feelings about these projects? If so, why?

    Why do you feel "unprepared" for your job? What "keys" does your supervisor possess that you feel you need to do your job effectively?

    And what is it that you feel you are 'late" for, that time has passed you by? (maybe not, Dear True!)


    And to paraphase the bum, "YOU ARE THE ONE!"

    you are the only you, uniquely you, and everything you are, and everything you have gone through, helps you to help those woman to recover. Look, you may not be confrontational, you might not be able to call them on all of their "ish"-shues.......but you might be the one who really feels their pain, who really gets what they are hurting thru........and knows exactly what to say to get them thru it.

    When you move out of the world of drugs and illusions, back into the real world........it is good to be greeted by real people......from everything I see you are a real one, True. I am sure you are not only doing a great job, but a needed job.........
     
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