Black Relationships : My close guy friend

He likes you. But you should not be forward or direct, 'cause it knocks a man off his rhythm. Guys know that if a woman says "Wanna lay with me" after we ask for their names it's a bit intimidating.

He can be playing subtle openers, in which you are supposed to likewise accept. For instance, his leg might touch yours, so just casually touch your leg against his. Or even his hand may be close, so ease nearer it. These are unspoken techniques for communicating attraction beyond friendship. If he likes you, he's paying attention to when you touch his shoulder, how closely you stand, and when or where you two touch.

As yours is a transitional relation, directness isn't the name of the game.


It depends on the guy, Asomfwaa.

Just know your man! If you know he doesn't like women being straightforward, then you give him time, but if you know he doesn't mind, or aren't certain, it seems to be best to go for it.

There are some really great guys out there, who are incredibly shy or really afraid of coming off as a creeper, so you don't have much of a choice, unless you want to continue guessing. It can be intimidating for him, and he even might reject you just for that, but it lets him know your true feelings, and he might come back around to asking you out in time, just because some guys believe it's their jobs to do that, and not yours.
 
I have a thing for my friend. I went to a party last night, he comes in and i automatically go into shy mode and avoid eye contact. He says hello to everyone then walks past them. When he gets to me he asks the girl next to me if she can make room for him. He sits down and I overhear our friends making remarks about him wanting to sit next to me. Anyway I thought it was cute the way he walked past everyone to sit by me. My ride decided to go home early and my friend offered to drop me home although I live about 30mins from the party and he lived pretty close. He does all these little things that make me think he might like me.

When we go out he offers to pay and I refuse. Before he had a car he paid for a cab to take me home one night when he didn't have to. He rarely comes out with the group but whenever I ask him to go out just us two he never turns me down. He hates driving people anywhere and said that I'm the only person he doesn't mind driving home cos I'm different. Basically he is a great guy. I have liked him for years and not said anything. Everyone around us thinks we like each other by looking at our body language etc. I'm not sure how he feels. Yes I can ask but I do not wanna be rejected. I also do not want to ruin what we have. I am 24 and I still struggle to distinguish whether or not someone is interested
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So what's a girl to do??

You may be shy but he doesn't sound shy to me. Walking into a room, moving directly and purposefully to your side, going so far as to ASK another female to "move over" so he can sit next to you..... these are not the moves of a "shy" man. They're the moves of a man who knows EXACTLY what he wants and doesn't care who knows it (everyone "whispering" yet he acts unfazed).

Question: Did you leave early with your friend? If so, you missed a great opportunity to see what's behind all these 'manly' moves. If it happens again, let him drive you home. What he says and does during the drive and especially on your front stoop, will tell you his intentions.

Because he does boyfriend-y things like offering to pay for everything (friends go Dutch), offering to pay for a cab, unasked, never turning down the offer of a date from you (no matter that it's with a group), and this has gone on for years... not to mention that the way you describe him says he's neither a shy nor inarticulate man.... gives me pause, makes me think to NOT, under any circumstances, express your romantic feelings to him. At least not in WORDS. Let him go first. And if you want to "coax" him.... after a drive home late at night, lean over and give him a kiss on the cheek. How he responds to that should give you a MIGHTY indication of whether or not he has romantic feelings for you.

So I'm with Destee, you got a good thing going - ride with it. He's already the aggressor, hunting you down at parties. Give him that kiss on the cheek and see if he wants to get captured by the game.... or not. :10500:

Good luck!
 
Get on the same page so you gon have to talk with him about your feelings about certain instances that have made a difference to you. You all sound to be connected anyway so understanding should be there regardless of the outcome. But get level with him will improve yalls relationship from your perspective exspecially. What to say it up to the type of communication you and your friend have already. Laughingly, sarcastically, seriously or even just honestly speaking.
 

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