Black Poetry : My Brothers

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by PositiveMindset, Jan 11, 2005.

  1. PositiveMindset

    PositiveMindset Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Hey U...
    I'm talking 2 U...
    That dude whose full time job is 2 look 4 one.
    Got applications memorized so U can fill them out
    3 at a time 2 make the process quicker.

    Bruhman...
    Who realized how he lived life foul & tried 2 get out
    of his mentally & physically damaging lifestyle.
    Only 2 be pulled back in cuz his life's an open-ended sentence
    tha his enemies want 2 end in a question...
    Who killed Lil' Boy??!!

    My man...
    Yearns 2 have an input in his childs welfare,
    but his child's mother acts like a baby' mama.
    Refusing visitation cuz he doesn't wanna relate with her
    any further than the child they have in common.
    He hurt her in the past so she wants 2 hurt him in the now
    without realizing how the main one being hurt is the child.

    What's up cuz...
    Wrapped in a bear hug by the long arms of the fuzz.
    U know, one time, 5, the man, the beast...
    Quick 2 pull heat & squeeze or use any word U speak
    against U 2 toss u in back the clink.

    Young blood...
    Who runs from noone.
    Whose first reaction is 2 thug.
    Looks at his reflection & practices his mean mug...
    Like...I'm a crazy muhfuh.
    He is 2, cuz he has nothing 2 live 4 but his rep...
    And he'll die 4 it 2.

    Yo, dog...
    Never had a relationship with his parents
    but still managed 2 raise yourself above the other
    disadvantaged by demanding a fair hand 2 be played.
    2 U, victory is never delayed, it's just not the right time yet.
    But U know you'll get it if U keep a positive mindset.

    My brothers...
    Different names but the struggle remains the same.
    Pawns on the board of life who r determined 2 stay in the game
    cuz we know that even pawns can become powerful pieces.
    Checkmate...
     
  2. HODEE

    HODEE Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Very nice flow.
    I like how you listed some names and left the reader to expand the rest from the head.

    My brothers...
    Different names but the struggle remains the same.
    Pawns on the board of life who r determined 2 stay in the game

    Your message is well received. There aren't many levels to the human man. But you expanded this just enough to understand. We are split into fractions hard to grasp. Trying to come to grips with a haunting past. Build a future not knowing the plan. Struggling to make a mark in a hated land. I can really relate with My man, and My Brothers. Expand this for the sisters.

    Little girl. Trying to grow up.
    Not knowing this world is full of stuff.
    To trip you, fool you.
    Take your pride.
    Steal your dreams and take your life.

    Young lady, developing into the natural plan.
    Mind on the future. You say you like that man.
    Not sure how to be a lady yet.
    Taking baby steps hoping you don't get swept.
    Into what you know, and what you heard.
    Form an opinion, ask some deep questions and select your words.

    Lady teen reaching mature.
    Full body curves, wanted by the obscure.
    It's out there wanting you.
    Your body and your wears.
    Using you. Taking you.
    Demanding you give your innocence up.
    Whistling at you as you walk by.
    Desiring to fill you up.

    Woman! Woman taking on the world.
    Burned by men, singed by this world.
    If your confused it's not your fault.
    Your not delusional. It is as you see.
    You didn't create this world in which you walk.

    Not free.

    It was the young bloods, the man, and the brothers.
    That caused you to be cautious and never trust another.

    Stop :time: out. You want to hold up these things.
    If you try to do it you will be left in the stream.

    Of life.

    Lost forever floating in confusion and strife.
    Having un-fathered babies and never becoming a wife.
    The power to change things are in your hands.
    There wouldn't be a young blood or the wrong doing man.
    Put your foot down and demand a change.
    Look at your power it has changed many men.
    Brought down worlds and started some wars.
    Use your power to create the world we all want. :heart:
     
  3. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Wow...The last stanza so eloquently summed up this piece. So much to bring you down, so often, yet it is in all brothers, that substance that is inherently you, to bring yourselves up and out. Props for this poet!!!!!
     
  4. angelicsage

    angelicsage Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Powerful! My Brother in the struggle, holding it down with a positive mind set!

    Teach on...Poet :teach:

    This was an awesome piece...

    and the highlight was Brother Hodee's flow...

    Wow...2 shots in one!

    This thread gets a perfect ~ 10 ~

    Peace,
    Sage
     
  5. Chastity

    Chastity Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Whoa.....yes i agree....the last verse brought closure to whatever 'open-ended sentence' might have been present in the readers' mind. And i also liked how every verse started with a name but not just a name....it almost sounds as if they relate to you...like young Blood, My man, My brother, Cuz, Yo dog.... very tyte poet. :star:
     
  6. hiphop4ever

    hiphop4ever Active Member MEMBER

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    My man
    My brutha
    Poetic Soldia
    you laid it down
    smoothed it out
    and you know it

    Play it again, but louder
    *Dapz*
     
  7. deepy

    deepy going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    consciiousness ...came flying thru this piece
    we need that all the time
    and loved hodee..for saying check the sistas out too
    now i'm waiting for you to go there also
    ......thanks...
     
  8. PositiveMindset

    PositiveMindset Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Bro. Hodee, thnx 4 the feel & the add, which was needed,but with this one, I just had 2 speak 2 the bros. cuz 2 many times we get ignored & misunderstood. Will get the sisters next go 'round. Peace.

    Sis. sage, I humbly thank U 4 the read. Glad U liked.

    Chastity, I thank U from the depths ofmy soul & understand that they do relate 2 me & us. They are our brothers, cousins, fathers, sons, nephews, etc.

    HipHop, thanx 4 the words. Just had 2 scream at us 2 let it be known that even though situations bring the worst out of brothers, they are still loved.

    deepy, U have put joy into my heart knowing U dug this.
     
  9. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    now this one was off the hook whoaaaaaaa ya flow take
    a masterful twist awesome scribe here
     
  10. Chaclit1

    Chaclit1 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Absolutely profound brothren.....enjoyed reading it.....loved that closing verse. Thx for sharing your talent with us. looking fwd to reading more! I'd luv to hear it read out loud. Awesome
     
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