Black Relationships : My Black Sexuality Aint in Da Closet

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by Destee, Jun 9, 2011.

  1. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Brother Skuder's status said the following :

    black sexuality pushed back down in the bottom of the closet.. just like out here in the white world

    I don't think my black sexuality is in the closet, no more than it is spread-eagled wide in the street.

    Those are both extremes, and there's a lot of room between them, allowing each of us to get in where we fit in.

    This is a Family Oriented Site, one that not only allows, but welcomes our youth, so much is dictated by this.

    Even with this though, i believe you could wrap me in a burlap sack, and my Black sexuality would still be oozing out.

    Also, it's a thin line between white world and black world. It would take precision surgery to separate the two.

    It's as if you are suggesting, unless one's sexuality is spread-eagled in the middle of the street, they try'n to act white.

    Like, if a person articulates themselves clearly, they are talking white.

    Brother Skuder ... what part of your Black sexuality is in the closet, is having to be pushed down?

    I'd guess the part meant only for special folk ... the private part ... where only a select few get to venture.

    There is certainly an obvious Black Sexual air about you ... and i aint never been privy to the private part.

    Wassup ... what's wrong ... you need my assistance in some way ... :)

    Love You!

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  2. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    There is an art to being sexual, without being sexual.

    Some of the hottest men, most sexually stimulating to me, rarely talk sex talk.

    In fact, i'm of the opinion ... that the simple gathering of ourselves together respectfully ... is oh so hot and sexy!

    Whenever and wherever you get Black Men and Black Women together, sexual vibes will be present, it's a given.

    Brother Skuder ... you dun got me started!

    Love You!

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  3. skuderjaymes

    skuderjaymes Contextualizer Synthesizer MEMBER

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    I was protesting the premium boody locker... with my status line.. it's like a sit-in.. I know you're just doing what google said, but I think sexuality is such a huge part of culture that to relegate it to a special room where hardly
    anyone is active is like repressing it.. that's my opinion. I know you want to be able to provide an healthy environment for all ages, but it seems to me, that open and honest conversations about sex-related issues are truly beneficial to young people. We have conversations that feature epic violence.. lynchings and burnings and descriptions of atrocities and tragedies.. etc.. things that can be far more detrimental to a young mind than a discussion with sexual themes.. but to isolate sex themes and also require premium membership to access those topics is to put them out of bounds.
     
  4. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Yes, I know you are protesting the premium boody locker, but I don't think you have to.

    As I said above, i'm very in touch with my sexuality, love it, and will not (cannot) let it be suppressed.

    While Google's email, made us aware of a bad situation, i don't believe it's calling for any more than we've already been doing.

    I've been wanting to speak on this, but I have so many irons in the fire ... i'm being pulled at every end right now.

    Most all of our threads are out in the open, just a few remain behind closed doors, that's because our policies were sufficient to begin with ... before Google's email.

    This, after moving THOUSANDS to the vault. The vast majority are available to all, and if you're missing one ... want it back ... just ask us.

    We have a lot of work to do, and while more thoroughly reviewing the few that are still on lock is important, it's not at the top of the list.

    Google's email, and our initial response to it, was all on the money ... a blessing from God ... in my opinion.

    It's good they let us know we had a problem, and it's good that we immediately tried to address it, because that's when I realized we'd been attacked.

    If I had ignored Google's email, grumbled at being controlled, never tried to address the issue ... our home would still be under attack and vulnerable.

    We're a wholesome place, and always have been, and I don't believe Google is saying otherwise to or about us.

    It's just gonna take a minute for all of this to settle ... it's already been a lot of work ... and there is a lot of work still ahead.

    Be patient with me, and if there is a thread you want back out, that isn't ... just let us know and we'll move that issue to the top of the list.

    Love You!

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  5. skuderjaymes

    skuderjaymes Contextualizer Synthesizer MEMBER

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    cool.. I just wanted to make a point. This new site is wonderful and we all appreciate the work that you and your team have put in.. my status line protest was just to bring it up passively.. and get some clarification.. because of all this sex talk, I have quite a few themes I want to explore through discussion and framing these conversations effectively is a lot of work.. at least for me.. I just want to make sure we can do discuss these things without worrying about having the conversations isolated.. But I see from your response that there really is nothing to worry about..

    Thank you and Peace..
     
  6. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Thank You for understanding Brother Skuder.

    Google helped us find an exploit, that may have otherwise gone unattended for much longer, possibly losing our hard-earned Family oriented reputation. In fact, I had offered Sister MsInterpret to take her time removing the links, unaware of the seriousness of the situation.

    Initially after receiving their email, we scrambled trying to surmise what the problem was ... moving threads ... all of that. Ultimately finding, that their email had little to do with our content, and was primarily surrounding the exploit we knew nothing about.

    Yes, we do have a few discussions that go over the edge ... not necessarily Google's edge, but mine ... which we found in the process. We do have a standard to maintain, but Members have never really given us lots of sex stuff, not really, and I will defend us in that regard. While we need all the money we can get, to survive, I will not be easily convinced that we are less than righteous or upstanding, in an attempt to gain it.

    We just had to see what was up, and we did that, and I appreciate Google for alerting us to the problem and giving us time to correct it.

    I'm confident that any topic you broach will be done respectfully, and if there is a problem with it, we'll let you know.

    Feel free to move forward as usual.

    Love You!

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  7. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Brother Skuder ... in fact, just for the record, as we were moving threads, going through the initial motions, I was getting heated. I was going through the steps, but knew in my heart, there was going to be a problem in the end, as I am proud of the very high standard we have always maintained and would be meeting anyone that said otherwise, quite aggressively, including Google.

    But I had to go through the steps, had to see what the end was going to be.

    The end brought us to a place that I did not expect, we had been attacked, and it really had little to do with our content.

    I'm glad I didn't get immediately defensive, fight their attempt at helping us, for we would have remained vulnerable and unaware of the seriousness of the exploit ... which would have been a terrible end.

    I count it all as a great experience, and it is my hope that the Family can see it this way too.

    Love You!

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  8. lilpea

    lilpea Moderator STAFF

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    Sista Destee...

    I see this as just one step in this communities growth. The willingness of the family's patience as you and the Upper Room Team sifted through all this was amazing. And the outcome is so awesome! I still smell the paint on the walls.. the roof is not leeking and the door locks work.... I feel like we'll be around for another 13, well amost 14 years now. Great Job Team!!!!

    Lilpea...:1on1:
     
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