Black Relationships : My Aging Standards, and Being Single

[MsInterpret]

So I was on the phone last night talking to one of the members on here...And I felt myself falling apart. I was telling them about my current situation and how I am seeing this guy...and how I'm not happy any more.
Long story short....As I get older, my expectations and standards for whom I dating have gotten higher, the list longer, the toleration shorter...There is little room for error.
I'm at this point where I know what I want, and if I can't have it then there is no use for me to stick around to wait and see if there is change or progress in that individual.
I don't like to admit it out loud, but I feel like the sands of time I quickly falling. I'm not getting any younger. I would one day like to settle down. Seeing all of my friends married and having families has created a deep longing in myself to have the same. But I'm cautious as to not just jump into anything out of sheer desperation. Because I'm not desperate. I also, do not want to end up marrying someone I will later on regret, because divorce isn't an option that I ever want to have to deal with.
My list seems to be unrealistic when it comes to these men out here.

- Honest
- Loyal
- Respectful
- Self-less
- Hard-working
- Independent
- Positive attitude
- Healthy mentally and physically
- Excellent communicator
- Intelligent
- Educated
- Mature
- Someone I can feel comfortable introducing to my daughter/family
- Considerate/put not a push over
- Motivated to do better for himself
- Family oriented

I don't think that that is much to ask for. But my "Don't" list is much longer.
I just find myself banging my head on a wall or an inanimate object because I don't think it's possible in this day and age to find a decent man....It is like finding a needle in a hay stack. And everyone else has found the needle.

More venting to come.

 

[Honey1201]

So I was on the phone last night talking to one of the members on here...And I felt myself falling apart. I was telling them about my current situation and how I am seeing this guy...and how I'm not happy any more.
Long story short....As I get older, my expectations and standards for whom I dating have gotten higher, the list longer, the toleration shorter...There is little room for error.
I'm at this point where I know what I want, and if I can't have it then there is no use for me to stick around to wait and see if there is change or progress in that individual.
I don't like to admit it out loud, but I feel like the sands of time I quickly falling. I'm not getting any younger. I would one day like to settle down. Seeing all of my friends married and having families has created a deep longing in myself to have the same. But I'm cautious as to not just jump into anything out of sheer desperation. Because I'm not desperate. I also, do not want to end up marrying someone I will later on regret, because divorce isn't an option that I ever want to have to deal with.
My list seems to be unrealistic when it comes to these men out here.

- Honest
- Loyal
- Respectful
- Self-less
- Hard-working
- Independent
- Positive attitude
- Healthy mentally and physically
- Excellent communicator
- Intelligent
- Educated
- Mature
- Someone I can feel comfortable introducing to my daughter/family
- Considerate/put not a push over
- Motivated to do better for himself
- Family oriented

I don't think that that is much to ask for. But my "Don't" list is much longer.
I just find myself banging my head on a wall or an inanimate object because I don't think it's possible in this day and age to find a decent man....It is like finding a needle in a hay stack. And everyone else has found the needle.

More venting to come.

I can understand where your coming from however its been my experience that you get what you put out. If you feel that its hard to find a man that is on your list of do's and donts then guess what..its going to be hard to find a man under your guidelines. That goes with everything in life..

You asked a question in another thread about movies to watch on Netflix. Please please check out THE SECRET!!! Its a life changer!!

 

[jamesfrmphilly]

- Honest
- Loyal
- Respectful
- Self-less
- Hard-working
- Independent
- Positive attitude
- Healthy mentally and physically
- Excellent communicator
- Intelligent
- Educated
- Mature
- Someone I can feel comfortable introducing to my daughter/family
- Considerate/put not a push over
- Motivated to do better for himself
- Family oriented

sorry, i'm retired….

 

[Corvo]

- Honest
- Loyal
- Respectful
- Self-less
- Hard-working
- Independent
- Positive attitude
- Healthy mentally and physically
- Excellent communicator
- Intelligent
- Educated
- Mature
- Someone I can feel comfortable introducing to my daughter/family
- Considerate/put not a push over
- Motivated to do better for himself
- Family oriented

I think it's a fare list, not too much. With the exception of being self-less.
Cause that does not fit with the other wishes.

_ what about adventurous?
_thinking outside the box?
_politicly aware

 

[MsInterpret]

- Honest
- Loyal
- Respectful
- Self-less
- Hard-working
- Independent
- Positive attitude
- Healthy mentally and physically
- Excellent communicator
- Intelligent
- Educated
- Mature
- Someone I can feel comfortable introducing to my daughter/family
- Considerate/put not a push over
- Motivated to do better for himself
- Family oriented

I think it's a fare list, not too much. With the exception of being self-less.
Cause that does not fit with the other wishes.

_ what about adventurous?
_thinking outside the box?
_politicly aware

I'm not an adventurous person...I won't look for things that I don't have in myself.

Self-less...?? Sure it fits...I don't want a selfish person.