Black Relationships : My Aging Standards, and Being Single

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by MsInterpret, Apr 24, 2013.

  1. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    So I was on the phone last night talking to one of the members on here...And I felt myself falling apart. I was telling them about my current situation and how I am seeing this guy...and how I'm not happy any more.
    Long story short....As I get older, my expectations and standards for whom I dating have gotten higher, the list longer, the toleration shorter...There is little room for error.
    I'm at this point where I know what I want, and if I can't have it then there is no use for me to stick around to wait and see if there is change or progress in that individual.
    I don't like to admit it out loud, but I feel like the sands of time I quickly falling. I'm not getting any younger. I would one day like to settle down. Seeing all of my friends married and having families has created a deep longing in myself to have the same. But I'm cautious as to not just jump into anything out of sheer desperation. Because I'm not desperate. I also, do not want to end up marrying someone I will later on regret, because divorce isn't an option that I ever want to have to deal with.
    My list seems to be unrealistic when it comes to these men out here.

    - Honest
    - Loyal
    - Respectful
    - Self-less
    - Hard-working
    - Independent
    - Positive attitude
    - Healthy mentally and physically
    - Excellent communicator
    - Intelligent
    - Educated
    - Mature
    - Someone I can feel comfortable introducing to my daughter/family
    - Considerate/put not a push over
    - Motivated to do better for himself
    - Family oriented

    I don't think that that is much to ask for. But my "Don't" list is much longer.
    I just find myself banging my head on a wall or an inanimate object because I don't think it's possible in this day and age to find a decent man....It is like finding a needle in a hay stack. And everyone else has found the needle.

    More venting to come.
     
  2. Honey1201

    Honey1201 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I can understand where your coming from however its been my experience that you get what you put out. If you feel that its hard to find a man that is on your list of do's and donts then guess what..its going to be hard to find a man under your guidelines. That goes with everything in life..

    You asked a question in another thread about movies to watch on Netflix. Please please check out THE SECRET!!! Its a life changer!!
     
  3. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    :SuN026:sorry, i'm retired….
     
  4. Corvo

    Corvo navigator of live MEMBER

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    - Honest
    - Loyal
    - Respectful
    - Self-less
    - Hard-working
    - Independent
    - Positive attitude
    - Healthy mentally and physically
    - Excellent communicator
    - Intelligent
    - Educated
    - Mature
    - Someone I can feel comfortable introducing to my daughter/family
    - Considerate/put not a push over
    - Motivated to do better for himself
    - Family oriented

    I think it's a fare list, not too much. With the exception of being self-less.
    Cause that does not fit with the other wishes.

    _ what about adventurous?
    _thinking outside the box?
    _politicly aware
     
  5. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I'm not an adventurous person...I won't look for things that I don't have in myself.

    Self-less...?? Sure it fits...I don't want a selfish person.
     
  6. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    So you're implying that I should lower my standards and settle?
     
  7. Khasm13

    Khasm13 STAFF STAFF

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    when i was single i went through the same stage u r at now...

    i had my list and everything...lol

    what helped me was writing a accompanying list of what i had to offer to a potential mate
    to see if the lists added up to a nice union on paper...

    to my surprise a couple of qualities i was looking for didn't match up to my qualities i had to offer...
    things got better after that...i hope that helps a lil...

    one love
    khasm
     
  8. Honey1201

    Honey1201 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    No..not at all lol. What I'm saying is if you feel and say,"Its hard to find a man to fit my stanards." then IT WILL BE HARD TO FIND A MAN TO FIT YOUR STANDARDS..But If you it say and believe that you will find a man that fits your standards than without a shadow of doubt you will. Its the law of attraction. It works in every single area of your life! I promise. Im proof lol.. Please watch the documentary tonight on Netflix!! I promise you wont be disappointed!
     
  9. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    It is hard to find a good guy in these times...lets not be coy. Good men aren't running ramped in the streets.
     
  10. Honey1201

    Honey1201 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I respectfully will not agree with that. :) Its not true. Even with your list...Well I take that back. Thats not the reality that I live in...however that may be your reality.
     
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