Over medicated on hot steamy sex, a virtual vaginal addiction chases my mind untiringly, its vigor undiminished by time. It is an endless loop, a self-generating continuous recording playing repeatedly, the machine is never off, only on standby. Mainline addiction, 100 milligrams, unadulterated, 100% pure, injected sex; there is no end, no ultimate relief. The flesh ruins my moments, my life. Everywhere, I see wants. Each woman is a preview, an adrenaline torch spurring shallow breathing, titillating my vision, stirring my hormones stiffening my commitment. I am overridden by primitive desires sparked by memories of smooth liquid warmth and climatic throbbing pleasure. My eyes are filled with pictures across the aisles of this theatre. I want each and all, not out of betrayal or biology, but need. One raindrop is not enough for a thirsty man; a deluge could not slake this thirst that burns in my throat. Oh to feel that to feel warm luscious lubrication surrounding me once again draining my batteries, but recharging my life. I confess I am weak and cannot rid myself of this habit. Fantasy and fact blend a degenerating debilitating addiction, collapsing veins and burning nasal linings with imagined encounters. Ripe, succulent, fruit burns me as my addiction knows no limits. Time has not softened the engorgement in my mind. It is unrelenting, a stalker of predatory nature and passion making a water drip torture of denial, yearning for just the feel, the luscious warmth, that primordial tingle, the ecstatic shake. I am an addict. I’ve been in recovery since my teens and, still I go hidden away unseen, undressing, tasting and penetrating dark places behind open eyes and gritted teeth, but even hand made self-medication provides scant relief or escape. My apologies to all the women who are sleeping in my head, naked and willing without reservations, awaiting my penetrating thoughts. I have emptied my syringe, into those veins of imagination and lust. Slowly, I am loosing my mind in this endless loop of lust. It never subsides, relents or gives in. It stays to harden my thoughts. A recovering addict living one day at a time never knowing when a voice, a sight or an opportunity will make me fall upon waiting female flesh. My knees and elbows bare scars from the times, but, for now, I have slipped the tantalizing lure of temptation after wrestling it and its vile, but pleasing appetites to the ground. I am sober now but who knows what will come in the next seconds. I am an addict!