Black Poetry : mutha****** i'm not

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by Randee, Nov 4, 2004.

  1. Randee

    Randee Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    no matter how hard i try
    to be a good woman
    to be a good mother
    still you call me f&cker
    my mornings all merge together
    tuesday, friday who cares?
    working 24/7 at putting on airs
    hiding the hurt and pain i feel
    trying too hard to make fantasy real
    i know we're both attempting to make this work
    but why keep going if we only hurt
    you must hate me, i hear the words you mutter
    when you call me a f&cking ***** and a dumb mutha *******
    i speak sometimes and my intonation may be rough
    but, really, how would you have done without me when your times were tough
    and now your pinching my every penny wondering what I spent
    i gave you all that money for the rent
    and still it has not been paid
    then i get shouted at three hours after getting you laid
    i made sure that for the last 6 months bills were paid on time
    on groceries and thank you's is how i spent my last dime
    while you buy clothes, sneakers, hats, cigaretts and beer
    do you wish when you close your eyes i would disappear
    i have never tried this hard to make anything work
    but again, why keep trying is we both feel hurt
    i never wanted to raise a son on my own
    but i refuse to live in a combat zone
    i have never needed anyone and i don't need you
    i want to be a family but it looks like thats through
    if you want to leave, please use the door
    i'm too tired at keeping this back and forth score
    i know you're weary from work and this household
    but your words spit out so uncontrolled
    i am scared fists will fly and i'll become bruised
    lets back out of this before we both feel used
    nothing between you and him will be changed
    our living situations need to be rearranged
    you will always be his dad
    but the three of us together, its just too bad.
     
  2. queentswana

    queentswana Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I guess there's really something in him, he don't like, and that's not a good thing for both "mother and Child" ...don't continue to set yourself up for the "8" ball :pool: ...that will surely follow.
    wonderful write up...read it.
     
  3. angelicsage

    angelicsage Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Sister this is heartwrenching...
    and painfully real...
    a reality of so many women
    sometimes we have to do what is best...
    "Love ourselves first"...before anyone else
    ...sometimes that means
    moving on...and the dissolution of current attachments
    Wishing you the best...

    Sage
     
  4. Randee

    Randee Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    i don't even know what to do
    feelin emotionally abused
    when i tell him he just rolls his eyes
    and twists and turns truth to lies
    wondering if my mouth is the cause
    to why he has broken motherly laws
    disrespect me in front of our infant son
    kicked me *** once, should i run?
    its my mouth that makes mistakes
    or is it my heart that tricked this fake?
    how do i alone raise a son i want to turn into a man?
    i need to make up my mind a find a master plan.
     
  5. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Can't live long in a war zone, something has got to give eventually...This flow so strongly showed an ache of feeling lost and unsure. Any change is hard, even change for the better, but sometimes it is a change that saves us. Peace sis.
     
  6. poeticlyspeakin

    poeticlyspeakin Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Home is where the heart is, but my heart isn't her
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    wow... sounds rough

    but it seems like u know what u want n what u need. i like it. peace n love.
     
  7. Khasm13

    Khasm13 STAFF STAFF

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    i feel this right now....
    pain pours out in da pen
    and makes that living...breathing world
    easier to be in...word...keep scribe'n sis
    one love
    khasm
     
  8. gempis

    gempis Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    My thoughts and prayers are with you right now, girl.
     
  9. Flyy baby luv

    Flyy baby luv Member MEMBER

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    Stay strong it almost took my Sister's life for her to realize what you already know thank you for blessing her mind with you knowledge