Black Poetry : Morning After pt2

Euphoria

Well-Known Member
REGISTERED MEMBER
Feb 24, 2002
365
0
QLD, Australia
Occupation
journalism student
Hey everyone, this is the second pt of Morning After, so it may not make as much sense if you haven't read the first one so here's the link: http://www.destee.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=7751
Um, the style is different, and I don't think I like this piece very much. Nor do I think that I conveyed all I wanted to... so there may be a re-write yet. Hope it all makes sense.


MORNING AFTER PT2

"Hey, how you been? I've been looking out for you,"
I noticed you the moment when in the club you flew,
“I wanna talk, can we dance later on?”
I watch as you moved to the flow of the song,
“Sure come and find me, oh you look really good.”
You grab my arse and smile like only you would,
“Ok, I will. I’ve gotta go to the bar,”
I smile as I remember that night in the car,
It’s a few tracks later when you grab my hand,
You wink and make me smile like only you can,
“I have to go a while, gotta take a walk,”
I smile as I listen to the sweet words that you talk,
It was an hour or so later, when I saw you from behind,
I nearly walked over, at first I didn’t realise,
That you were leaning over to kiss a girl with blonde hair,
How could I have been so blind to see you didn’t care?
After we left the club to meet at a friend’s place,
What do I see but smirking Ben’s face?
“Hey Ben pull up your pants, we don’t wanna see your arse,”
“Emma what’s the problem? We know you’ve seen worse.”
You act so cool and uncaring and then I remember how,
You are just your average, typical, arsehole male.

26/4/02
*Emma*
 
What a pity and a shame!

I think the poem is just fine and it conveys some sentiments of mine. But if re-write you must then , I trust that you will find the right formula. I like your style!!!!!! And by the way anyone named
Emma is "all good" that's my Mom's name!
So work them scribes girl til you fine tune it to your own satisfaction. Part one was:blob fire:
BLESSINGS ON YA HOUSE!
 

Donate

Support destee.com, the oldest, most respectful, online black community in the world - PayPal or CashApp

Latest profile posts

HODEE wrote on Etophil's profile.
Welcome to Destee
@Etophil
Destee wrote on SleezyBigSlim's profile.
Hi @SleezyBigSlim ... Welcome Welcome Welcome ... :flowers: ... please make yourself at home ... :swings:
Back
Top