Black Poetry : Monumental Moment

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by N2urSoul, Jan 21, 2002.

  1. N2urSoul

    N2urSoul Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    There's just him
    sitting over there
    like a monument

    beautiful

    Here's just me
    watching the
    sun spit across
    the darkness
    of his presence

    early morning and
    wanting a man
    so distant
    he's close
    and feeding on
    the distance
    so close it's
    licking the
    stone of my
    inner thigh



    (c) 2002 N2 ur Soul
     
  2. blakverb

    blakverb Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    that is nice...see you are a poet...with a limitless pen...wrinting at the drop of a hat...or rising of a sun.

    blak
     
  3. GQ

    GQ Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    N2...

    Queen I'm just about to run out of adjectives for you!!!!

    I'll just keep it simple and say you are

    DA BOMB!!!!!

    :heart:
    GQ
     
  4. Da Street So'ja

    Da Street So'ja Banned MEMBER

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    stop playing

    and pass some napkins

    it sure is a monument

    no pun of course

    feeling the poet

    dssNY
     
  5. N2urSoul

    N2urSoul Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Blak

    You're a trip Verb! :lol: I didn't know that this was the criteria that determined validity in the world of poetry.... but if it's comin' from you.....there must be some truth to it :D


    Lots of Luv sugah!

    N2
     
  6. N2urSoul

    N2urSoul Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    GQ

    You're too too kind :D I'm definitely not da :bomb: that may be just a bit ova da top......but I do thankyou for the read :)


    Always :heart:
     
  7. N2urSoul

    N2urSoul Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    DSSNY

    Hey....:lol: you're silly :lol: 'napkins'?~!!! :lol:


    Thanks Boo, for the read! :D


    N2
     
  8. N2urSoul

    N2urSoul Well-Known Member MEMBER

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  9. Heartbeat

    Heartbeat Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Very, very nice piece Poet. Really enjoyed getting through this.
     
  10. Legendof_1_Spirit

    Legendof_1_Spirit Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    ...>fades in>

    Ahhh...now this is smooth!
    I really love the ending.
    The way U went from "distant" to "distance", and the repetition of "close", was/is very ingenious.

    The stanza after the word "beautiful" kinda bothered me. "Here's just me", although it fits the overall composition of the poem, I think "just" can be omitted and the line could be "Here is me" or "Here I am". But these are minor and just my opinions.

    I really enjoyed reading this, thanks for sharing.

    <fades out<...
     
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