I'm just back from a nice little blues club; the sun is already up down here, and the air is already sticky on my back. I heard a sister sing tonight; who touched my heart so, with her lyrics...I can still feel her voice vibrating inside my chest. After a night of dancing and lively talk, you would think I would drop off in my bed and fall fast and deeply asleep; but I cannot. Well, as you know we have been hit with a couple of misles leveled at us the last couple of days. .. first, Bill Cosby, who I have always felt had paper bag swatches on his brain, anyway, blamed our ills on Our poor brethren (which I myself is only a few paychecks away from being myself). As stated, and as many of you know, I agree with the self-reliant/self-sustaining take myself. I think that We can do it; and I think that We have all the necessary tools to do so... and after a little study of his wordage, I still don't know if he was trying to be funny or not or ironic... so, I'll leave that at that. A lady friend was telling me of what Rosie O'Donelle (sp.?) had said about Us, and she was all upset and could not believe that she would say such and such and she watched her show and thought this and that. Of course I reminded my friends that I had long ago told them that there was something very redneck and klanish about the lady, and I never saw her talent,etc... So, this went on, and Miss Missy was just in a lather; so I asked, "Why are you so shocked?" Her reply, "Because!" And she gave me that duh look. "Because what?" And we stared at each other and finally it dawned on me; "Why because she is fat and gay?" And I got that go to hell for saying it so **** bluntly look. So, I am thinking. This is one of Our greatest problems. It may very well be Our Greatest Problem. We suffer. We cause suffering. But, because others may have or suffer similiar things or because they may do something that seems good.... We latch on and reach for kinship. We throw ourselves on the battlefield for them, We protect them. Bill, is a classist and a colorist as far as I am concerned. But, because he gives money to HBCU's he is okay, and he can demonize my name. I don't think so. (Again, I wish I could hear what he said, because I am not sure. Rosie, is a racist(.) But because she may get some heat for being overweight in this society and because she may get some flack for being gay, it is okay that she make racist remarks directed at me. I don't think so. If someone's skin is like mine...that override them working with those who hate me to destroy me; to displace me, to take my job, to use my struggles as a stepping stone for them. Misery Loves Company. You can keep waiting for the door to ring... I ain't got the time.