Black Relationships : Mind Your Own Business?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by CarrieMonet, Oct 21, 2004.

  1. CarrieMonet

    CarrieMonet Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Dec 26, 2003
    Messages:
    1,244
    Likes Received:
    14
    Occupation:
    Love my job!
    Location:
    Seattle
    Ratings:
    +15
    Have you ever been out and seen the mate of your friend out with another love interest? (I'm speaking of an OBVIOUS encounter...deep kissing or feeling one another up) Do you mind your own business or do you let your friend know you saw their mate cheating? Does it make you less of a friend to keep that info to yourself?
     
  2. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2001
    Messages:
    69,983
    Likes Received:
    3,978
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    BUSINESS owner
    Location:
    Da~WINDY*CITY //CHICAGO
    Ratings:
    +4,178
    it really all depend ...........basicly i would let them know but how i'll tell it
    will be differently not just say hey your mate cheating
    I don't think it make your any less of a friend if you do keep it to your self
    in most cases it comes out anyway in a long run
     
  3. Radical Faith

    Radical Faith Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2003
    Messages:
    1,818
    Likes Received:
    137
    Occupation:
    Operations Manager
    Location:
    North Carolina
    Ratings:
    +137
    Danger Danger


    No you don't mind your business. What if your friends mate is having unprotected sex? This is the age of AIDS. Would you let your friend contract AIDS? How would you feel if you knew your friend's mate cheated for a minute then they got married had a child and the whole family was diagnosed HIV positive. In this case not knowing could kill.


    Peace

    Radical Faith
     
  4. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2002
    Messages:
    10,227
    Likes Received:
    191
    Location:
    The Diaspora
    Ratings:
    +194
    That is indeed something to consider. The major motivation behind the "mind your own business mentality" is that often the messenger is "shot" for delivering the message. In the case of catching a friend's spouse cheating, the friend is more likely to get angry at the one who told them, than they are to get mad at their spouse. However being a true friend is not always pleasant. In telling your friend that their spouse is unfaithful you'll ultimately be protecting them from STDs (including AIDS), paternity fraud (momma's baby, poppa's maybe), and other ills. Now the "friend" can choose to ignore the warning, but that is on them...you have performed your duty as a true friend. Excellent point Radical Faith!
     
  5. fanyamambo

    fanyamambo Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2004
    Messages:
    173
    Likes Received:
    1
    Ratings:
    +1
    Tell them

    I wouldn't let my friend be made a fool of or humiliated by the cheating partner. I would tell them.
     
  6. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2001
    Messages:
    69,983
    Likes Received:
    3,978
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    BUSINESS owner
    Location:
    Da~WINDY*CITY //CHICAGO
    Ratings:
    +4,178
    it really all depends !!
    sometime it's best to stay out of a marriage
    but a relationship i will speak to my friend in the way not to bring drama
    but how do you do that is yet to be known ......yes i would tell and in some
    case i won't .
     
  7. CarrieMonet

    CarrieMonet Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Dec 26, 2003
    Messages:
    1,244
    Likes Received:
    14
    Occupation:
    Love my job!
    Location:
    Seattle
    Ratings:
    +15
    I could not imagine NOT telling my friend what I saw. Luckily these days I have mature friendships and my friend would know I was telling her something for her benefit - not to mess up her relationship.

    But in my younger years I lost two friendships being HONEST. One of them asked me directly and the other I told because the guy had more than one girlfriend on the side. In both situtations I was accused of being jealous or of wanting the man for myself (by the man of course, but both ladies believed that mess)
     
  8. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2002
    Messages:
    10,227
    Likes Received:
    191
    Location:
    The Diaspora
    Ratings:
    +194
    CarrieMonet:

    Sometimes we do things not looking to be thanked, but because it is the right thing to do. You can them possibly life saving information, it was their choice to decide what to do with it.
     
  9. MANASIAC

    MANASIAC Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2004
    Messages:
    1,904
    Likes Received:
    37
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Technical Analyst
    Location:
    ATL SHAWTY! Mr. Coli Park
    Ratings:
    +38
    Let em know. IT is the right thang to do.
     
  10. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2001
    Messages:
    34,804
    Likes Received:
    8,986
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    betwixt and between
    Ratings:
    +9,689
    Hello Family,

    Gosh, am i the first to say i wouldn't tell? I don't believe i'd tell someone (my friend) that i saw their mate "kissing or feeling up on" some other person. I firmly believe that the 2 folk involved in the relationship already know what's going on. Whether it be intuition or hard evidence, they usually know that something is amiss in their relationship, long before it manifests itself to those outside the relationship.

    If they are my friend, and they are aware that something is wrong with their relationship, and they are remaining in it for whatever reason ... and they have not talked to me about any of this ... then they are trying to keep it from me. They are probably hoping that it will all work out and they don't want the world (or me) to know what they're going through. I will respect this.

    Also, as my friend's friend, why would i want to be the bearer of such bad news? Why would i want to hurt them this way? As i said above, if the "drama" is at the point where the mate is all out in the open doing raggediness like kissing and feeling up on others ... i aint the only one who knows it's going on ... i can't imagine any friend of mine not knowing, if things have reached this level ... so i'd not say anything ... i'll let it be someone else that "breaks" the news to them, if it must go down that way ... and i'll be there for my friend to help pick up the pieces whenever they are ready to confide in me.

    It's often quite difficult to know someone else's personal business before they do.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
Loading...