Savannah With each blow to my face, I ask myself, 'why do you keep going back to this worthless n****?' and the answer is, cause I love him. Stupid isn't it? Well thats me. I'm able to dish advice to all my girls and friends, but when it comes to me; i'm your average dumb a** ***! My philosophy is, 'do what I say, and not what I do.' I've been with Clarence or rather married to the b**** for a year and half; and the last three months have been pure hell! This ***** has turned oh-so abusive on me like whoa! It started out with his language and attitude toward me, but soon that pretty much evolved into this n**** putting his hands on me and you know what? I took the beatings and kept running back. I've sat and wondered during the rare times that i'm not being beaten within an inch of my life, why I keep running back to this piece of s***, but i'm love. Its funny how we've evolved. At the beginning, everything was pure and peachy, and somewhere along the line, this ***** turned abusive and let it all go. Why do I stay with him? The truth? Well...he has a big a** d*** and knows how to put the hurtin down on me where sex is concerned. He has a big a** bank account, and mad sex appeal. Pretty shallow huhn? Well, thats what i'm into right now. I just got off the phone with my homegirl, Yvain and she tells me that trouble is brewing in paradise; or rather a storm. Seems her Prince Charming is nothing more than a weak a** n**** that from what she says, is already married to another woman or some s*** like that. I don't really know, but she's going to give me the in depth scoop at our lunch date today. I get my clothes on, after coming home to a midafternoon d***down by Clarence and my expexted beating. I check my face for swelling and bruises. Hmmm there's none! A good day indeed *smiles wryly* I put back on my brown Chanel suit, fix my hair and re-apply a bit of lip gloss; slip on the Fendi shoes and grab my Coach purse jetting for the door and my lunch date. Clarence is gone already and I have less than an hour and a half before I have to get back to work at Earth Tones , the interior design shop I work for. Oh what a lovely f***in day! ************************************************ Yvain Aint that some s***!!!! Just when I step into that bastards office and began searching for some s***, this n**** pulls up and announces he's home. D***! D***! D***! I hurry out of the office and back into the room. "Yvain, baby are you upstairs? I'm home." He's calling my name. I rush into the bathroom and begin putting back on my clothes. He comes in the room and subsequently finds me putting my clothes back on. "Whassup baby?" He say's walking up and placing his arms around my waist. Just feeling him behind me and his arms around me makes me stiffen with revulsion. Today I'm going for the Grammy! I'm about to be Angela motherf***in Basset today!! "Hey baby, your home early." I say between clinched teeth. I'm biting my tongue to keep from screaming and killing this b****. He looks at me differently. "Say, baby, what are you doing here this late? Shouldn't you be at work?" I continue putting on my clothes and reply. "No Kam, I didn't go in this morning, but I do have a luch date with Savannah in a few minutes." "Hmmmm alright, well i'm in for the moment. I've got some s*** to take care of for the magazine; so i'll be in the study. Have fun and i'll see you later tonight." He graspes my chin and gently kisses me. D***! I want to scream and rip his skin off so bad! It feels like kissing a dead fish now. But I pull it off, even faking a moan. He smirks. "Got cha fire's burning didn't I? Well, babygirl, hurry back home cause tonight its on and poppin." I'm instantly sickened as his cologne scent hit my nose for the first time. The Burberry he where's usually has a subtle fragrance to it, but now its just plain sickening and loud; almost like he's trying to hide it. My heart sinks instantly as another smell greets my nose. The smell of raw sex. This n**** smells like hot Burberry and p**** and it aint mine. I want to cry because now my mind is racing; wondering who he could possibly be f***in. I hold my emotion's in check my face strained and my tone of voice too bright and forced. "Yeah baby, you got me burning." I say and he laughs while walking away. "Well thats ok, we'll take care of that later tonight." He departs and my face instantly falls along with the pent up tears. I cry for over five minutes, then quickly grab my purse, my sunglasses and cell and with my mind completely numb; run out the door into the bright, sunny daylight; jumping into my car and heading for Chez LaVeau's . God! What can I do?