Men.. do you have problems with child support system?

PoeticManifesta

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Mar 24, 2005
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Virginia Beach,Va
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Local Insurance Agent
I was having a discussion with my brothers father the other day, and he said he had went to the child support enforcement office to get an audit.. to increase the child support since hes been paying the same amount for the last 15 years.. they wernt very halpful to him and told him everything was in order. This man has 5 kids.. for the ages 18-1y/o... one in college.. and he has always been a very good supporter of his children. But had to go so far as to tansfer the case to another office to get an increase that was 7 years over due anyways!!.​
On the other end, my mother has been tryign to get my father to pay child support for the last 15 eyars of my life.. and he has be reluctant to do so. Now Im almost 21.. and hes still not paying.. my father has three kids,.. and my mind he is living hand to mouth.. not supporting the kids that live in his home very well at all.. always getting phone cut off.. and behind on bills.​
He has only had one thing done to him, and that was suspend his liecense. Here he is a year ago he just pauid 2g's to get it back.. and finally after my mother had to write a lteer to the virginia director to get this matter some attention.. and what did they do? Suspend his license.. he still hasnt paid a dime.. and is working.. my mother is not an enraged person.. but she wants aknowledgement that this is a crime. :deal: . to disobey a court order to pay $81 dollars a month.. thats it yall.. 81$ a month.. is that sad or what? There was no point in seeking a revision evern though my mother sent me to college.. and came out of her pocket with a 20,000 debt.. wheres the justice..​
What do you all think.. or what have your experiences been with this orgnization?
 
I have never been involved in the child support system (neither as a child or as a parent), so my opinion may not be as insightful as someone who has. However, I think that the inherent flaw in the child support system is that making a man/woman pay for their children does not substitute for the guidance lost by a parent who is absent from their children's lives. In other words, I don't think making a man/woman met their obligations as a parent is the responsibility of local, state, or federal government: It is the responsibility of the family (on both sides) and the community. In reality state & local government is not concerned about the welfare of children, their primary concern is reducing "wards of the state".
 
I think the main problem with the child-support system is that so many women feel like it's the first step to take if you are not married. Nevermind trying to talk it out and come to terms with an amount of money and time to resolve the issue. Women never think about the damage and tension that one move will cause. It makes some men resentful of the whole situation, so the relationship between himself and the child is already off on the wrong foot. On top of that, the child support system often asks a man to pay far more than is neccessary for raising a child, then the man can not fully take care of himself, so that adds to the problem. The whole process should be avoided UNLESS the father just flat-out refuses to pay. Unfortunately, many women report the father if he can't or is not willing to pay the dollar amount that she's seeking.

As far as men who are just dodging being a father, they get what's coming to them.

But the first mistake the system made was taking a woman's word for it as far as if the man is trying to do the right thing or not. That's too much power over a man's life for most women to have, because they will use it to their advantage, not the child's best interest.


I've been divorced, but my ex-wife was respectable and fair throughout the whole process. It was very comforting to know that she didn't try and exploit a very flawed system, so I fully understand that not all women will do that. In this country, I will not have any additional children, because I will not be able to dodge the same bullet twice.
 
The child support system is designed to be a unpleasant experience for both men and women. I never had a problem with child support until I changed jobs. That's when things got screwed up for me. As for my childs mother all I have to say is ladies beware. She reported me to child support because she thought she wasn't getting enough money for our son. I must admit that I wasn't always on time but I paid what we agreed upon each month. The outcome was she was awarded $13.00 more per than I was giving her. I had no problem with this. She on the other hand would recieve checks sparatically for different amounts of money there was no consistancy. She would call me in the beginning and ask if I paid child support and I would tell her it comes out of my paycheck so I never see it. I also told her if the money is coming late then you should contact the child support agency. Bottomline is as men if we have unprotected sex with a woman an she gets pregnant you better be prepared to do the right thing. It's no one fault but your own so stop with the excuses and sob stories. This is what I had to tell myself when I was going through this situation....


Peace.....
 
what i've done in this case was when my ex-wife and i departed with a child
together i told her from the start there will be no need to seek child support
because she really don't get much , my friend was paying in like every two weeks
out his paycheck 127.00 and his lady friend only got 31.00 per month

I did a written agreement with my ex-wife to provide care for my son and agreed
to give her 30.00 per week which we agreed on until he reach 13 years of age
then she will sign full custody to me for him i've alwayz paid for his medical and
clothing schooling and so on he's with me daily , the system is laid out to get
the support from father's yet only give the child about 20% of the money they get
from these men

I think the system is set up for dead beat dad's but they are starting to lock up
these guys for none payment and lack of support this system really don't work
in the good for noone but them the child still be lacking needs about a few months
it was some program but they was locking young men up like hot cakes in Chicago
for child support they even make you find a job but even those who didn't work still
had to pay like 10 to 14 dollars a week or do time behind bars.

I really never had to deal with the system but from what a friend of mines tell me
and i see him going through it's a no win system for men or the child in reality,
if he get into the system right he will have to pay for all them years which will be
thousands of dollars the college funds in all they starting to get very hard on men
now because so many of these single women are getting medical cards for these children
even welfare funds they want the fathers to pay it all back

over all childsupport system make money off you women don't get the full amount
children still come up short and lacking needs the man get trap in this system
so fast and easy monies taken from paychecks which noone ever see ..................

Trust me the real winner is the SYSTEM !
 

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