Black Poetry : Memoirs for the people

PoetByNature

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REGISTERED MEMBER
Feb 1, 2011
9
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**for those of you who maybe dont think im a poet coz i dont tend to rhyme this is for you**


I sit destitute no wealth by monetary needs
I’ve never been one to get caught up in greed
I was first born the prototype seed
Spent my first years trying to locate the bleed

Loss of love
Had me wanting to catch that white dove
Wanting to float amongst clouds just so I would know how it felt to be above

In my dreams I’d be on stage validated by pride consumed by despair
I’m one of those hard to find minds I guess you could call me rare
Misplaced constantly because my father didn’t care

Not about me anyway or my sister or my mother my brothers
Because he was cheating see he had other lovers
Slipping under the radar he got lost somewhere undercover
Caught out with the other

The other being an addiction
That got him all bent out of shape locked down by restriction
His secrets led to his conviction

He came from Africa a refugee
Led to believe
Yet caught out in disbelief

I wonder was it all he imagined the life
He had envisioned held up by a knife
Led astray by the demands of social strife

We never speak about what happened that night
I was too young they forced me blind with silence right
Wrong, unspoken events tend to escape the dark for the light

And when they fall they expose the secrets we try to hide
I let loose let my heart die
And why

I started trading places with sanity
Caught up within vanity
Arrested for brutality

Against my own soul I let insecurity consume me
Own me
Devour me

I became the girl missing in action
Causing chemical reactions
Misplaced attractions

Led me to sit out in the cold
Watching my tears unfold
Blurred vision yet the unwritten is so bold

The unsaid sits on my tongue ready to come
To reveal the undone and then some
Leaving me to feel nothing except numb

I am the fruits of my future
Yet one cannot grow without nurture
And so as I start to sway so I begin to fracture

I’m not ready for real life I don’t want feel
To know that disappointment is something I can’t heal
Post and send off with an unforgiving seal

Sometimes I wish I could backtrack
Find the little girl from the photo albums and unwrap
The person I left behind out on that derailed track

The one that you see in newspapers front page news
I constantly skip past the views
Afraid of my reflection the purple bruise

In my darkest hours I sit curtains closed afraid of rejection
Drama and me is like a never ending infection
I’m caught up in the barbed wire of my own deception

You see I’m not the person I wanted to be
I spent too long trying to escape and become me
Yet all that I see is simply a hologram attempting to be free

You see I’m trying to find the kind of love that embeds a strong woman
The kind of love that will never need validation from man
The kind of love that sets apart the groupies from the fans

I’m not perfect never claimed a title that I didn’t deserve
I write how I feel my thoughts they translate to verse
I’m multicultural I guess you could call me diverse

In mind and opinion I fight with my consciousness
To some I’m simply a hypochondriac symptomless
Yet the greatest icons are undiscovered I’ll never be passionless

Now I see the demons of my past the shadows of glass
Shattered and scattered like Hansel and Gretel’s crumbs cease to pass
Yet if only to blast

My dignity and respect shredded like unwanted paper waste
I leave murder scenes in constant haste
What more can I say I’m innocent the evidence misplaced

I stood alone in the dock
Wearing my best frock
Knowing my own stupidity had led me to believe he would be my rock

And yet I blamed the system and the oppressor
When I made the choice to become his successor
He created me I am the processor

Forget Microsoft and apple I am the flaws of modern technology
My mum’s disabled something to do with neurology
I wish I could make you understand I don’t do apologies

And neither do those who scarred me and made me afraid to open my eyes
At night tears fall and I attempt to think of lies
Something to take away the pain to unravel the ties

The ones that force me to remember where I came from and that I do care
Life’s a ******* ***** **** isn’t fair
At times I’m so out of it I’m completely unaware

That this is my life and these are my triumphs and mistakes
How do you even begin to explain rape?
I don’t seek your sympathy I’m trying to stay I don’t want to escape

Leave and never know what could have been I don’t do sob stories
Neither do I brag for the glory
Though I might smile don’t mean everything is hunky dory

So If you’re ready let’s do this break the mould and stand for something more
Please I won’t beg but I’m tired of walking into closed doors
Standing waiting on street corner likes some kind of whore

My grandmother named me Maletsatsi mother of sun and people
So let me grieve for my people let me feed our people
Let me see the beauty of our people
This memoir is for the people
 

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