Black Relationships : Meeting/Dating someone from the internet

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by legit-writer, Aug 2, 2009.

  1. legit-writer

    legit-writer Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Has anyone ever done so? If so, when talking to a guy/girl on line, and on the phone and all that stuff, how can you tell if he is truly interested in you? Or can you tell at all? I've heard 'success' stories about meeting people. I've heard horrible stories about it. And I have heard about those who had bad experiences, and then came across that 'right' one who is finally legit. How can you tell you are getting played with and if they're actually for real about you?

    Well here's my situation in case you're curious as to why I asked the question aforementioned. I've had my share of messed up experiences meeting a guy from the internet. So I took a break from it for a while I've been talking to someone for a few months now. I actually like this guy, for real because he seems to understand how I operate, as I understand him. We live in separate states, but within reasonable driving distance once we get ready to meet in person which will be in November. We used to talk a lot, but now we don't talk as much. Yet he says he's very interested in me, and that he has a feeling that things are going to work out between us.

    Well here's a little scoop on him. He's a correctional officer, who has said that he had got out of a relationship with a girl a couple of months ago due to the fact that he suspects foul play on her end. Yet, they still keep in touch. He has a son, which he has asked if me and him were together, would I accept that fact he has a son. Him and the child's mother talk to keep in touch as far as the child, or so he says, so I don't say much about that. However, just a few days ago, his page says he was engaged. I brought it to his attention and he was all calm and cool about it, saying that he doesn't know how it got like that, and he said he was going to do something about that once he gets the chance to get back online. But going back to the girl I mentioned that he dated prior to talking to me, I ran across her page as well, and it says that she is engaged to this man and she has a photo of her and him together. His page doesn't have photos like that, just photos of him. I ask him how often does he talk to her and he said every other day but they don't talk long. So I said okay.

    We've seen each other on cam and it's obvious he lives alone. We used to talk for hours and now we only talk for like an half an hour at the most. He also recently said he is going to take on a job as a bouncer at a club, so that is going to take more time away from us talking, and I told him I was concerned about that. He explained to me that that is not going to effect us, and went on to say that he is taking on this additional job to make up the difference in funds he loses when it comes to bills, and that he is only going to be working two nights per week. Adding to that, he said that he will call me at every break he can get just like he does at his current job. I ask him questions to make sure I'm not setting myself up for failure....again! He says I could ask him anything, just be ready for an answer... So far he seems to have an answer ready when I ask him questions, but my thing is how to know if he is lying or playing games.... oh and by the way, he says he doesn't have time for games because he doesn't want that done to him.

    Sorry this got lengthy but I didn't think I could get any sleep until I got that off my chest, but going back to the question I asked at the beginning in case you got lost in my thread, how can you tell when someone is truly interested in you? I mean there has to be some way to tell, because like I said, there have been success stories where no one was playing games, despite the situations they could be in, like the one I mentioned in this thread. Also, what are THE questions I should ask him that will help me determine whether or not he's real or he needs to be let go.... Thanks for those who read this!!!!!
     
  2. LindaChavis

    LindaChavis Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    If you have

    doubt..he aint the one
     
  3. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    :em0200:they offer to pay your car note.....
     
  4. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Sister Legit-Writer ... peace and blessings ... :love:

    I think it's great that you are asking questions, seeking counsel, advice, guidance, in what could be a life threatening situation.

    Very very good Sister! :)

    My advice is to be very careful, and realize, that ANYONE CAN SAY ANYTHING with their mouth.

    Just because a person says a thing, does not mean it is true.

    Therefore, in addition to what they say, you should have some additional, supporting evidence, to go along with those words.

    Here are some threads i started, that sorta speak to this topic. You might find info in them helpful.

    Have You Had Sex With Someone You Met Online?

    Getting Her Sex The First Time You Meet

    Just be careful Sister. Don't make it easy for someone to take advantage of you, your hope, your kindness, your weaknesses, your vulnerabilities, etc.

    Love You!

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  5. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    A dawg is a dawg online or offline...

    I've met guys that I've dated from online...To me they are no different then someone I've met offline.

    People can make up stuff anywhere they want. It is easier to do it online and if they live far away. But that's a risk you take.
     
  6. Each1teach1

    Each1teach1 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    How can you tell you are getting played with and if they're actually for real about you?

    [/QUOTE]

    In my honest opinion I think the only way you can tell if someone is genuine is to spend time with them. I mean real physical time hanging out chillin or whatever. That way you can analyze them their behavior, body language etc. I personally have never met anyone online and dont intend to for the exact reasons outlined here. You cannot really analyze too much without meeting a person face to face. Like Destee said people can say or do anything online. I prefer meeting people face to face in places less that are less likely for loosers to hang out at. Like a library or museum as opposed to a nightclub or a bar.
     
  7. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    Inside your letter here asking such question i like to point out a few spots

    His page say he engage / her page say she engage to him..........look out!

    how often do he see her .......every other day but we talk little........Beware of the lie !

    y'all saw each other on cam......don't mean he live alone but she just not home
    at that cam time.........try getting him on cam at different times and see if he do it !

    People say a lot on the net and not all what they say moreso then not
    beware meeting for the first time .....make sure y'all in a well lighted public place
    never allow anyone you don't truely know have your address
    take it show and talk more so you can listen for change/mistakes/and her voice

    sometime folks be looking for some quick fun or a friend wit benefits and nothing more
    be careful meeting be wise !!!!

    Good Luck
     
  8. Bootzey

    Bootzey Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I met the God online. And he lived in another state at the time. We have been together for 2.5 happy years and counting. So it can happen. But.... You have to be careful no matter what cipher you meet someone. That's life
     
  9. IntelligentNoire

    IntelligentNoire Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    My fiance and I met online. While I have nothing against meeting others in face to face encounters, sometimes you just meet people with whom you share so much with it would be insane to pass up the opportunity for a truly fulfilling love. My only advice is to treat this brother from online with the same caution you would a guy you've met in person. I would even say google him if you have not done so already. oh and if you're really suspicious you can always run a background check to cover your bases. they're quite cheap these days.
     
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