Black Relationships : MATCHING LUGGAGE

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by Metaverse, Apr 5, 2008.

  1. Metaverse

    Metaverse Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    A Solution for Broken Relationships.

    Some of the most honest and intelligent dialogues about Black relationships take place not in our churches, or in our bedrooms, but in our beauty salons and barber shops around the nation. It is there that Men discuss with Men, and Women discuss with Women- the issues that are paramount to our sanity and mental health.

    In a deep metaphysical way- it makes sense- that in the place where we go to get our "hair right" we should also get our heads right as well. It was inside a Barbershop that I heard something that directly impacted the methods to which I used to judge my own relationships and the Women who influenced me.

    Ironically the message was delivered by a Man that very rarely spoke, and even when he did speak it was hard to understand him due to his unique southern accent. Sometimes he was drunk, and he had a terrible habit of mixing his alcohol or beer inside a can of Red Bull.

    One day, as all the Men sat around listening to the head Barber complain about his child's Mother- and how she became even more vindictive after he meet a new Woman and decided to get married and have another child- the Red Bull Drunk decided to insert some of his elder Wisdom. Afterall, drunk or not- he was an Elder and everyone respected him.

    "You know what I think, I think it's like matching luggage. If the Man and the Woman have the same problems they should be able to get along, cause they share the same problems, they got the same luggage."

    He walked off and no one really paid any attention to what he said, because no one really understood what he said, at the time neither did I. In most cases when someone is speaking to me, I can literally "see" what they are saying. It wasn't until later on that day, that I had a vision of what this Man was trying to tell us.

    I saw a Black Man at the airport pulling along some luggage, and as he got in the line to check in- he saw a Black Woman with the same luggage. They smiled at each other, and this matching luggage started a conversation. "I bought mine at Sears" he says to her. "I did too." She replies. It so happens that they are going on the same flight, and managed to pick out seats next to one another. Looking at it as more of a coincidence, the two begin talking and exchanging stories and life profiles. They are so much of a match for one another, yet the sad reality is that at the end of the flight they must depart from each other and go their separate ways. But perhaps, God willing- with the exchange of each other's phone numbers- they will be able to create a relationship from just that small meeting of fate.

    Obviously the Elder's story had more to do with "baggage" than actual luggage. But it's still an interesting concept either way. When I think back to my own relationships, especially the terrible ones, the ones that I recall and say to myself- "why was I with this person?" I have to admit that this person and I did not have "matching luggage." She had her own set of problems and issues, and I had my own set. So it was almost impossible for us to work anything out together.

    But this is still odd. You see, the Universe at least tries it's best to match people up by attraction. And when we are attracted to one another it means we share similarities, or are at least different in the same ways.

    However the baggage or luggage we are speaking of are not always burdens or problems we carry along the trip with us, but also our unfulfilled dreams. We carry them because we still have use for them, in many ways we still need them.

    So even though the Universe might match us up based on attraction, we don't always acknowledge that feature inside ourselves as the base of that attraction. When two people meet, on a spiritual level we are saying to each other- "I am here to assist the manifestation of your dream, and to assist the solving of your problems." This is true for the Black Man and Black Woman meeting in the airport of life. Carrying the same luggage means they are trying to manifest similar dreams, and solve similar problems.

    What is taking place today in our society is that we are no longer acknowledging this as a core element in Human relations. Everyone is saying "I don't want to be used." Then, for what other reason are we alive? Welcome to planet Earth. There is no other reason to exist, but to be used in some way for some purpose.

    Today we have so many people who have compacted and complicated their lives with useless nonsense, distractions they have used to define themselves and their relationships. These things are so compressed around them, that they cannot see the elements that have attracted and is attracting their mates in the first place.

    If we share our problems we can fix them, if we share our dreams we can manifest them better- and that is what "matching luggage" is all about.

    Personally, what I am tired of- is seeing Black Man pass up healthy and intelligent Women for Women who are young, naive, goal-less, and whose only asset, is their ***-et. You will hear these Men complaining later on in the Barbershops too. Complaining because a Woman with no aspirations and no desire to solve any problems through reasonable means- even with a pretty face and a voluptuous body is still an anchor.

    I tired also of so-called smart Black Women who choose the Thugged-out couch potato over the strong willed Black Brotha with a clear mind. We can easedrop on their conversations in the Beauty Shops too. Somewhere between the illusions of being able to change a Toad into a Prince, and drug Dealer into a "Saved" Brotha- most of these Women only end up with the bill at the end of the evening.

    Still, these are our own personal mistakes to deal with, learn from and evolve from. Yet we must be accepting of our mistakes in order to learn from them. And to be strong enough to admit our wrongs and change our habits of attraction.

    There are so many of us searching for a significant other, when we really should be searching for significant others. Matching luggage does not just pertain to couples, but families, communities and nations as well. There are too many depressed Black Women and single Black Mothers walking around willing to surrender to anyone that will take away their aloneness and void of a companion.

    Single Black Mothers can be adopted into families that could use their love and support and vise versa. Single Mothers can network and create their own families and communities of Mothers. How did "waiting and hoping" become such a disease among us, when we have all the intelligence and imagination to create the solutions to mend our broken relationships?

    Black Men as well share in this same equation. So many of us search for good Women but we should help to create communities where these good Women exist within. But if we constantly lend our energy and brain power to concepts and ideals that in fact aid the breaking down of "good Women" how then can these Women continue to exist? Naturally they will have to resort to the level of Women we despise in order to survive.

    Matching Luggage is a concept that says to us, those of us who share the same problems and wish to manifest the same dreams- should find each other.
    The concept works for all levels of relationships.

    Most importantly - The luggage you are pulling around with you, taking with you in every place you arrive- you have to admit is not unique. It is in fact handed off to you. All our problems and our dreams are given to us by those who are no longer here. So here we are fighting on an individual level to change something that is collectively created- how do we expect to win?

    What makes better sense, is that we open ourselves up to the idea that, a successful relationship can be built around the desire to solve problems together and manifest dreams together. A Man and a Woman should be able to recognize qualities in their mate that will potentially assist solutions.

    Furthermore, if it is not your wish to be used, then you should not be here. What do we call someone or something that cannot be used? We call them - useless.

    I continued to have this vision about the Black Man and the Black Woman at the airport with the matching luggage. They had such a strong connection on the plane, still- they were going in different directions once the plane landed.
    The energy between them was too pleasant for them not to exchange business cards. She noticed he was a Film producer from his card, and He noticed she was a Makeup Artist from hers. The walked away from each other, hoping to see each other again, but not really betting on it, unsure of the feelings they were sensing during the trip.

    Even though they were both at baggage claim, they hid childishly away from each other, trying to ease the pain of the departure- lovers found, but still strangers. The Man grabbed his luggage and the Woman grabbed hers. Both speeding away as quickly as possible to the nearest cab.

    The relationship along with life is a journey within a journey. She sits during the cab ride, pretending a life style with a Man she just met moments ago, a Man she may never see again. She sees them working together and raising children together. But her visions are molested by the shadows of her past, the imagery of her abusive Father and hateful Mother. He sits in his cab thinking about her as well. Wishing he had the nerve at least to lay his head on her shoulder during the flight, perhaps even a small moment of physical contact would've made the pain less horrifying. The pain of leaving the Woman of his dreams. He sits starring at the her business card, and a number he would never call. Afraid of a relationship after so many failed ones. The divorces, the child support payments, the division of property, the restraining orders.

    They both arrive at Hotels several miles away from each other but in the same city. Once in his room, the Man opens his luggage to find that it is not his own. The key fits, but the contents are different. At first glance, lace underwears and small pink tshirts lay folded at the top. Tucked at the side, a manuscript titled "Healing the Past, Saving the Present" falls out and scattered on the floor. He then realizes that he will have to call his previous flight companion after all.

    He clicks his cell phone to talk, and she is already on the another end. "So you're a writer" they both say at the same time.

    Apparently she also opened his suitcase, finding a book he self published a year ago also about healing from the past.

    They decide to met up later on that night for coffee, to exchange luggage and to try to the best of their ability to create a life together. The logic for them is simple, if "God" put in this much work to get us to meet, then that same amount of work is required to keep us together.

    While this is only a story, it has happened millions of times already. You see the Black Woman is the result of a failed relationship between a Man and a Woman who could not get along. The abusive Father and the Hateful Mother. yet she learned how to heal herself, and therefore solved a problem that many of us face. The Black Man was part of many failed relationships, and learned from his past also.

    The cosmos matched them up based on this ability and also because of the dreams they were able to manifest. The "key" is our ability to recognize this, not denying our problems and dreams and using that acknowledgment to bring about healing.
     
  2. Jaisolovely

    Jaisolovely Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    If the cosmos supposely "match up" people then wtf was the cosmos thinking when it came to me?
    Some things just dont make since to me right now. Maybe when I'm a lil older it all will. I have been told that change is good and that I should seek it but what confuses me is if the direction that I am pushing for is the right/best descision for me.
    Maybe I'm not suppose to even consider dating now? I just know that I am at my best with out the drama.
    Why doesnt this community (destee) address topics such as bisexuality, lesbianism and etc?
     
  3. asimplepoet

    asimplepoet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thanks

    Wow this got me to thinking and I like the thought process of matching luggage and the next time around I will keep this imagery in my mind when picking my friends, assoicates, and mate. thanks brother for the insight.
     
  4. Metaverse

    Metaverse Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Sis. Jaisolovely - your at a place in your relationship life that is wobbly. And your instincts are correct, it's something that will work its way out. You are a strong "lover" Miss.Lovely- this you already know, and this is the serpent that comes back to bite you. And those who want to love strongly are not as evolved emotionally as you are, and even when they appear to be- it's for all the wrong reasons.

    The Cosmos can only go by the energy you put out and distribute. And because you are still in a very crucial developmental period in your life, love safely not strongly- "love by detachment" - understand that 75% of those who attract right now might want to control your development and even relabel you.

    As far as the topics of bisexuality and lesbianism- I am always open for topics on Human sexuality. But I am certain these topics can upset people who are not ready for a serious discussion.
     
  5. Jaisolovely

    Jaisolovely Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Ok then lets discuss bisexuality and lesbianism then Bro. Meta! Are these attractions between the same sex natural? One brother said that it was natural for a woman to be sexually attracted to another and that she should not hold back those desires. What is your take on that?
     
  6. Metaverse

    Metaverse Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Sis. Jai, this is one of the most controversial topics online these days. I don't enjoy controversy unless it gives people something to think about so...here goes nothing.

    When it comes to Humanoid sexuality, what is natural? Humanoid sexuality and spiritual sexuality are different. We are spiritual beings inside of a Humanoid vehicle. Spirits mix energy in order to engineer a successful reality or being. Spirits have no gender, but we create symbols/forms/vibrations that direct our path of creation. A Man and Woman are only symbols for different paths of creation. IE, Men and Women do not create the same way. That is natural.

    When we speak about nature, natural- we are talking about "order" or a system of order. But before we look at Homosexuality, we must look at other lifestyles. Same sex lovers do not create life, so this lifestyle is a bi-product of other very un-natural aspects going on our planet. If these aspects were dealt with directly, homosexuality would be non-existent.

    What is natural for the Humanoid at times is un-natural for the spirit. The Humanoid is a machine. Because it is a machine, a system of order, it requires maintenance to which sex has become it's main docking point. The Humanoid machine can have sex with anyone or anything to keep itself maintained.

    It is natural for the Humanoid to relieve itself by discharging it's fluids, no differently than an oil change in an automobile. In order to discharge, the machine requires only another unit of energy. Child, animal- it doesn't matter. What matters for the Humanoid is sexual discharge, nothing more, nothing less.

    The differences between Humanoid sex and Spirit sex is a matter of choice. It depends on how comfortable and confined the mind itself is within the machine. A mind that is not confined at all inside this cage will of course experience more levels of sexual experience than the mind trapped inside the machine.

    When studying the pedophile mind, we find that a Man is not having sex with a child. At least not in his mind. The child is only a vessel for a fantasy. In his mind that child is the Woman or Man he dreams for, hopes for but can never obtain. In other cases, when the pedophile is indeed fantasying over the child, when having sex with a child- he gets off from being able to take something precious, innocent and pure away from the child. No different than what a Man feels when with a young virgin.

    But in the case where a grown 40 years old Man stuck his penis into a tiny baby girl when her Mother left him to babysit....that was natural for the Humanoid. Because the Humanoid is a machine that only more advanced minds seem to have the ability to totally control. When the 40 year old Man was raping this baby, was it for love and passion? It had to be for release, and it seems for sexual release there is no distance the Humanoid is unwilling to travel.

    Now, allow me to point something out. Remember I said Homosexuality was a bi-product. On this planet, right now as we speak- there are millions of Men and Women who are here simply because they can do one thing and one thing only very very well- and that is- give sexual release.

    It is natural for the Humanoid to want sexual release. What I find interesting, is that in today's society- Homosexuality is sold to us as some type of sexual freedom, it is not- and here's why.

    The most sexually oppressed people on the planet are not Homosexuals.

    I'll let that one marinate in a few minds that are reading this.

    I'll continue later.
     
  7. Jaisolovely

    Jaisolovely Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Peace

    "The most sexually oppressed people on the planet are not Homosexuals".


    I know that I am one but why are Heterosexuals sexually oppressed? Are you going to explain Tantric sex and does that have anything to do with it?

    And are you able to explain the experience of Spiritual sex? Have you had this experience? I hope you dont mind me asking...:em3700:
     
  8. Metaverse

    Metaverse Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Sure Sis. Jai, I don't mind you asking at all. We'll go into some of that. I was saying that Homosexuals are not the most sexually oppressed. The most sexually oppressed people on the planet are highly spiritual or very religious Women. But let me say this also. I don't judge Homosexuality, I speak about it only from a metaphysical or scientific context. It is what it is.

    I've learned from the study and knowledge of highly spiritual and sexual people that there are sooooo many levels to sex that are still untapped on this planet. And yes Tantric sex is a tool for highly evolved sexually experience.

    But you did ask about same sex attraction, is it natural? There is another reason I mentioned the difference between Humanoid sex and Spiritual sex, it has to do with the mind because it's all about the mind anyway. What gender is the mind? That would depend on the direction the mind is going and the actions that path requires.

    Who is a Man having sex with when he is touching on himself? Is he a spirit having sex with a Humanoid male? The answer is yes. And this is the question I often bring up when people start talking about what "homosexual" attraction is.

    What are we experiencing when we masturbate?

    There are Women who are sexually attracted to their own bodies that have never had sex with other Women. Is that a homosexual Woman? Let's think about that. She enjoys her breasts, the shape of her body, her scent, her hair, her own touch- is that homosexuality?

    There are Men on the planet who are flexible enough to give themselves oral sex. Is that homosexuality? Even though these Men have never had sex with other Men and are not attracted to other Men. These are variables rarely discussed, but they should be discussed if people wish to have a rational view on Humanoid sex and spiritual sex.

    Homosexuality is basically masturbation for some, a way to release sexually without the confines of a traditional relationships. Of course many Homosexuals will say to those who come to such conclusions- you are wrong. I've always been attracted to the same sex, since I could remember and it is not masturbation- I am having very genuine and loving relationships with everyone I mate with, just as heterosexuals have genuine loving relationships.

    First of all, whoever said "heterosexuals" were the great teachers for genuine and loving relationships? Both homosexuality and heterosexuality are masturbation, but in different ways and for different reasons.

    Let's give a list of what is natural in the natural world. It is natural for teenagers to have lots of sex and have lots of children. It is natural for Adult Men to have sex only for sexual release and not for reproduction. It is natural for Adult Women to have sex only for sexual release and not for reproduction.

    What type of picture does that paint? It paints the picture of a functional society, where the younger Adults have children that the older Adults rear and take care of. It is the model for society that life has been trying to put into fruition for so long, if we would only listen to our own sexual desires.

    Now let's go to why highly spiritual Women are so sexually oppressed? Because highly spiritual Women have more living energy flowing within them than most Women. Such Women in our Ancient past, selected Men, several at times to have sex with in order to drain down their sexual urges. In history such Women were Queens and even Goddesses. In Today's world, we know what such Women are called. Yet these Women have always been highly advanced sexually as well as spiritually.

    It is my metaphysical belief, that such Women unconsciously are reeking all types of havoc on the planet, basically because of their sexual as well as spiritual dissatisfaction.

    Men forget that it was Woman that taught us sex- not the other way around.
    Which is why I find the Male homosexual phenomenon interesting to say the least, because White, Asian= no matter the race, if the Gay Male is acting like a female- he is acting like a BLACK WOMAN. Pay attention to that one, and then ask yourself why is that?

    Some highly spiritual Women naturally have reached the state where physical sex is not an option, it is something that happens for them on the astral or spiritual plane. Some of them have the ability to call out to spirits or Deities that come out to service them sexually, all because there are no Males on the Earth evolved enough to get the job done. Remember I said it's about the mind. The collective male mind has not evolved to the point where such Women can be accessed.

    Going back to Tantric sex. I once met an older lady in Florida who was a Tantric Master. Actually she was also a psychic that read cards, when I met her we were talking about psychic abilities etc., and she started telling me about Tantra and the work she did. She told me her age and I didn't believe her because she looked 35, but she said he was 50. She looked like the typical Gypsy-Arabic female who was into eastern sexual arts. She told me she could make a Man have an orgasm without touching him, she said it was all about the mind and using a Man's own sexual energy against him.

    I didn't believe her. I spoke to her once over the phone and she told me a story that almost made me have an orgasm, but when she asked me if I felt anything- trying to be hard- strong- and your average Male- I lied and told her no. I couldn't repeat that story here, but basically it was a very very erotic tale. She told me she was called out often by couples. She would never touch the Man nor the Woman. But she would teach them how to explore their sexual ideas and fantasies. She would teach the Woman about movement and how certain dances help to generate energy in the yoni.

    She was the one that told me something that I have yet to hear anywhere else. She said the Human body is all about association. Associations we have stored and memorized in our mind. Spiritual sex is the key to re-defining those associations, whereas Humanoid sex is when we are slaves to them. She told me about a time she helped a gay Man have sex with a Woman because he wanted to conceive a child with her. Her story helped me understand, one- homosexuality is also a product of mind control and two- the mind is the most powerful genital we have.

    She told me most "Gay" Men enjoy sex without the emotional attachment of traditional relationships. The Male she helped was a "bottom" meaning he enjoyed playing the female role, feeling like a boy that is being sodomized by his Father. She said it was impossible for such Men to be with Women because they never developed the social or emotional threads with Women where such relationships would be able to progress. I've noticed this too. Even with Gay Women who say, they are naturally gay, or born that way. Well, interestingly enough- such Women are built in such a way that a sexual relationship with a Man would never develop anyway, either because they are too masculine or not attractive enough. But like the Male seeking the virgin, it's also interesting that such Females will go after the Females they know more Males want. This is called a "trophy catch" - heterosexual Males do it too. In female Homosexual relationships, the 2nd female is almost always bi-sexual.

    When the Tantric lady explained to me how she got a Gay Man to have sex with a Woman in order to have baby, it made me think about our minds to begin with, and just how fragile Humanoid sexuality is.

    She said she knew this Man enjoyed being probed sexually by another Man. So what she did was dress the Woman up as a Man and offered him the opportunity to probe her. She said all Men are easily sold sex as opportunity, it's rare that a Man would turn down to the opportunity to have sex with any "thing" of beauty, just for the experience he will do it, and the more he does- then it becomes a habit and ritual. She said he enjoyed doing to her what Men had been doing to him. The fact that she was a female pretending to be a Man turned him on even more than if it had been a Man. She painted a fantasy for him. Which somewhat explains another role culture plays and why Black folks are so confused sexually and spiritually.

    This idea makes me think about the fact that some of the most feminine Gay Men are attracted to masculine Women. A secret that most Homosexual political groups don't want to discuss, don't want it discussed. A Gay Woman often times will sexually desire the Women Men desire, who has a body she does not have. Fuller breasts, wider hips etc. A Gay Male often times will sexually desire a Man most Women desire, if he is short- the desire male is taller, if he is fat - the desire Male is slender- muscular built. Actually most of the time what they desire is the energy stored in that person, energy that is collected from all the people that desire them.
    This was not always the case in history, we have become a more "cosmetic" society- therefore it is easy to brainwash us with flesh symbols in the media. In the past, Men and Woman had different ways to acquire their sexual desires without worrying about cosmetic attributes.
     
  9. Jaisolovely

    Jaisolovely Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    You had mentioned that a woman who is sexually attracted to her own body is not homosexual, am I right? So what about one who is attracted to the female body period, but has never been with a woman? Does that make her gay?

    What is your definition of sexual freedom? Oddly, I consider masturbation wrong and have felt ashame about it. I just feel like somebody is always watching me lol.

    So what exactly is Tantric sex?
     
  10. Bootzey

    Bootzey Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    This thread reminds me a term that my friend used to use. "Bastard Luggage" She was referring to people who travelled with mismatched luggage, but it rings throh in a different realm too. Metascience you got me thinking.....
     
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