Black Education / Schools : 'Marrying Down' Costs Educated Women $25K a Year

[rapunzal24]

You and your partner in crime did just that





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No, you brought up the death rate. I don't dispute that. So, please tell me why you said it. At least quote the post that put you on that direction. I honestly do not know.

 

[rapunzal24]

And then there was silence...silence to a question that could be answered....but there was no reasonable response. He's not as crazy as he sounds....he knows better.

Anyway, sometimes it happens. You marry someone who doesn't make what you make. He doesn't have the same drive. Can you deal with it? Is he an undercover bum, or is he content with his life? That is the question that women and men need to ask themselves. If you want a man who brings what you bring....doesn't make you snooty. If you want a man who brings more than what you bring....you might be asking for trouble. I don't think that we as black women are asking for millionaires we are just asking for someone who brings something to the table. I don't speak for all black women, but I have learned that the worst of the bunch seem to get the most attention. Male and female. I do like a confident man, confident men seem to be the worst. Maybe I should say outwardly confident men...they are so forceful, like they deserve something.
What I'm really trying to say is do you boo boo! Know what you want, who you're dealing with...and if you can deal with it.

 

[Kemetstry]

No, you brought up the death rate. I don't dispute that. So, please tell me why you said it. At least quote the post that put you on that direction. I honestly do not know.

Look it up





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[Destee]

Sorry, but that doesn't really make much sense.

Volunteering to be drug through the mud? So you're saying all black women are "volunteering" for these black men to put us down on who we choose to partner with, what we do with our hair and bodies, and many other things that actually have nothing to deal with anyone but the individual involved? How? No one asks their opinion on that, so why they giving it, and calling it truth? And how can we get away from it when they're our counterparts, our other halves, speaking ill of us to the world? Can we escape being black women related by blood to these black men? So, explain what you mean, please.

And no, I'm not lumping all black men; that's your perception, while mine is focused on the ones who actually do what it is I'm speaking on. This is why I don't get black men who have it together, and aren't speaking ill about sistahs getting offended. It's not all brothers, but is it indeed a lot. If it weren't, it wouldn't be a problem many sistahs do agree we have. I think you're choosing to see it the way you want, though I have no clue why.

If these black men did better where they fall short, we'd have a better pool of men to choose from. That's just fact. Are we going to pretend there aren't many, yes many, not a few, black men who are choosing not to raise their offspring? Why is telling truths such as this a bad thing? How are we gonna fix it if even mentioning it is an offense? It's becoming where any problem mentioned is merely quieted because bringing it up is only ever called "gender warring", disrespect, self hate, etc. (I don't just mean on Destee, but in general) However, this is especially apparent when black women say anything at all towards what black men have done wrong to their other half.

I have brothers, I have uncles, I have a daddy, many black men in my life, so I'm not at all just throwing them under the bus and saying forget the lot of them. But my views stand. They're failing in more than one way, and it needs to be addressed, not hushed. Ask "how can we fix this because this is a serious concern", and not, "can we change the topic because I'm sensitive to hearing all of this".


Glad to be back, by the way.

If someone feels they are being drug through the mud, then they have offered up some part of themselves to feel that way. I do not feel like I have been drug through the mud by some ugliness another says. Why should I take that on my back and carry it, as if it is mine? It is not. It is not my truth or experience. Anyone can open their mouths and say anything, it does not make it true enough that I should be offended. I do see and understand those that get personally offended. I have been that way in my life, personally offended about stuff that has absolutely nothing to do with me, but those days are gone (i think).

I do not think the best course of action is to mimic those that act unbecoming. While I understand the desire to do such, it is rarely the right thing to do. Someone has to rise above the fray, provide better examples of dealing with the challenges we face, not act like those that are carrying on foolishly. But again, everyone has a mouth and can say with it what they will.

I wonder how our enslaved Ancestors felt just out of slavery, and the slim pickings available as it relates to wealth. I'm glad they were able to still figure out a way to produce children so that we could be here now talking about how slim the pickings are. I think it ebbs and flows. I remember hearing my uncle talk about how women were the rare commodity when he was a young man. I think we must all deal responsibly with the cup we have been given to drink from. It is what it is. At best, we might be able to improve the pickings for those coming behind us, if we raise up good children today.

I have found that this entire hating on black women or black men is an Internet phenomena. I have never seen black people talking ugly about their own people in real life. I have never seen what these men do online, in real life. I just have never seen it. Maybe I haven't lived long enough, gone far enough, but the only place I have ever seen this ugliness is online. Which is why it is a rule at destee.com, because it cannot live here.

Don't take what they say personal ... God gave them a mouth ... who are we to try and take it from them.

Love You!



Destee

 

[Destee]

Black women don't "feel" this, but it naturally happens, and they realize it way later.

And black men are the ones blaming black women for lowering their standards and "ruining" the community; they are the ones saying much of that, not us. Most black women only speak praise to our men.

That's where you guys are totally missing the point. You're drawing up some whole other logic that has nothing to do what's actually being stated, just for the sake of dismantling this discussion. If you disagree, fine. But it doesn't change the truth, nor does it help fix the problem.

The article is here, and I'm sure there are many others like it across the net, no one should be realizing it later.

Marriage is suppose to be a life-long endeavor and much thought should go into that decision.

One can know early-on of their mate's wealth or lack thereof, as it is not easily fake-able long term.

To move forward, and then act as if you had no clue early on ... only realizing it later ... is a bit disingenuous.

I am that Single Black Mother all these folk are talking ugly about. It's not just black men, i hear it from many.

But I know it is not true. I know it is not my experience. I choose rather to be my best me, in an effort to help fix the problem. Be the great Single Black Mother that I am, focusing my energies on my children and/or that which I love. What I look like running behind krazee folk talking krazee?! Why would I immerse myself in that? It makes no sense to me at all.

Everyone is free to do as they please and if giving your precious energy to them is what you want, stay safe!

Love You!



Destee