Black Women : Married ladies-you and your female friends

lcw1969

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REGISTERED MEMBER
Oct 5, 2010
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I actually got the idea for this question from another site I like to frequent.

I realize that ppl come into our lives at various stages and for whatever reason, some stay for the long haul and some just fade away.


Did some of your friendships change after you were married?-Do you find yourself still hanging a lot with your single friends, or do you prefer couples?

I have a few single friends, but only two who I really use to hang with all the time, but for reasons listed below we don't hang like we use to. The only "couple" I hang with is my husband's brother and sister in law.


Did some of your single friends start acting "funny"? I have a friend who I am really surprised about how she is acting since I got married, she and I were pretty close, we spoke at least twice a week b/4 I got married and a few times after I married, but now, she is MIA and I don't know what happened. But to be fair I have a married friend I don't speak to as much either, but at least she is not avoiding me.

Depending on your age, do your friendships differ from when you were 20 vs 40? (i'm 41)

Ok, I guess my carefree days are over and I am now feeling it, ppl have their lives to live and children to tend to etc. When I was single, I was available to everyone, at least when I wanted to be, but now my life is kind of contained in my own little world with my husband, any other women know what I mean? I'm thinking I want the best of both worlds, i'm kind of missing my carefree days. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband and love being married, but i'm a little dismayed by how some of my once close friends are acting. Anybody else experienced this, please share. :10500:
 
Well I know the last post was a while ago but I will be brave and speak up. I would have to say that the majority of my friendships have pretty much stayed the same. However, there have been a couple friendships that have actually ended as a result. I was saddened about it when it happened because we had been friends for a long time, but then I thought about when my big sister told me. She said that some people are only meant to be in your life for a season. I suppose that was the case with the relationships that I lost. I could be wrong, but I feel that it really shouldn't matter whether you're married or not to someone who is a true friend. Yes, I will admit that the relationship has to change a bit. I mean the situation changes with a marriage. In my case, my personality sort of changed, in a positive way. But I also believe that a strong friendship strengthens as a result. I actually feel like I grew closer to my circle of friends. I think true friends in return help to strengthen a marriage as well. When my husband and I have had little rough patches, my friends have been there to remind me of what I have and what I don't want to lose. And my husband has done the same in return toward them. I know that not everyone is the same, but I think communication is key. Of course you might not have as much time to spend hanging out with them like you normally do before saying "I do", but I really think that by reassuring them that they are still very important to you, and also by making time for them and for yourself, a mature adult will be more understanding and supportive of your circumstances. If not, then sad as this may be to say, maybe your friends aren't the same friends that you thought. Just being real. I hope this reaches yall in a positive and thanks for reading....
 

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