Black Spirituality Religion : Marriage to Spirits - Vodou

[Marie85]

Hello Marie,

No, your questions are not too personal.

No, the unions in Vodou are not inherited.

I am the first in my family to practice Vodou in a very long time.

One lwa requested marriage via dreams and the other I requested marriage from to accomplish a goal even though with these two lwa, if you marry one you have to marry the other.

Thanks for answering my questions

I do have A few more if you don't mind answering:
When the lwa came to ask you for your hand in marriage did you welcome this? or did it take some time to accept? As a man, were you threatened by the idea that A powerful woman (or spirit/lwa) desired to have you? or were you flattered to have attracted someone so powerful and mighty? (ie was your ego boosted?)

Again if it's too personal I understand.
I promise I won't ask anything more.

I hope you and all you care for are well

 

[Blackbird]

Thanks for answering my questions

I do have A few more if you don't mind answering:
When the lwa came to ask you for your hand in marriage did you welcome this? or did it take some time to accept? As a man, were you threatened by the idea that A powerful woman (or spirit/lwa) desired to have you? or were you flattered to have attracted someone so powerful and mighty? (ie was your ego boosted?)

Again if it's too personal I understand.
I promise I won't ask anything more.

I hope you and all you care for are well

No problem Marie85,

I was unaware initially that this is what the Lwa were requesting. It took some time as a result. I was not threatened by the idea. I was actually flattered but not in an ego boosting way. It is hard. If the Lwa request your hand in marriage and you decline the request, you must either offer an alternative or suffer the consequences. One lwa came to a man once and asked for his hand. The lwa told him if he marries her she will protect him for life or if he doesn't, she would not be responsible for what may happen to him... suggesting he may die.

 

[Marie85]

I cannot say (or type) that I am surprised to find you were flattered. I think when it comes to these sort of marriages men tend to be more willing than women do.

I find your situation very unique. As you also have a mortal wife. I can only envision that on A normal day for you, you return home from your place of work. Your wife (perhaps?) returns home as well from her place of work. She sits in the dinning room (or living room w/e) to read magazines waiting for the food to finish cooking.

While you retreat to your bedchamber (i.e. spiritual harem?) to mate with a beautiful lwa spirit. Who's likeness you probably have on your wall (or will have on your wall? for sure ingrained in your mind) you are likely given such immense pleasure that you emerge renewed from laying with such a beautiful creature.
You delight so much in these frequent encounters that you yearn to have another spiritual wife. my..my...you must have a great amount of stamina. You please now two women and yearn to please a third.
Your wife's quite fortunate to have such an energetic husband.

 

[Blackbird]

I cannot say (or type) that I am surprised to find you were flattered. I think when it comes to these sort of marriages men tend to be more willing than women do.

I find your situation very unique. As you also have a mortal wife. I can only envision that on A normal day for you, you return home from your place of work. Your wife (perhaps?) returns home as well from her place of work. She sits in the dinning room (or living room w/e) to read magazines waiting for the food to finish cooking.

While you retreat to your bedchamber (i.e. spiritual harem?) to mate with a beautiful lwa spirit. Who's likeness you probably have on your wall (or will have on your wall? for sure ingrained in your mind) you are likely given such immense pleasure that you emerge renewed from laying with such a beautiful creature.
You delight so much in these frequent encounters that you yearn to have another spiritual wife. my..my...you must have a great amount of stamina. You please now two women and yearn to please a third.
Your wife's quite fortunate to have such an energetic husband.

Marie85,

The nature of these arrangements/relationships/marriages are not for the expressed purpose of satisfying some spiritual carnal lust. Vodou is a very practical tradition where Vodouisants expect results to make life more palpable. Generally, the mind of a Vodouisant is "if it doesn't work then there is no use for it."

The presumed "sexual" interaction between human and lwa is not a highly frequent occurrence. Often times the spiritual spouse will visit the human spouse in dreams to offer guidance, counsel and advice - sex is not the main purpose. Also, for the human spouse, the benefits of the marriage is the real life implications that such a marriage brings. For the human spouse's devotion, the spiritual spouse will offer protection from life's misfortunes to the human spouse and shower the human spouse with gifts the lwa is known for. These gifts can be uncanny good luck, higher frequency of opportunities for spiritual and physical prosperity, unyielding good health, protection from enemies or harm, financial wealth, business success and/or material abundance. These gifts extend to those in the human spouse's immediate household.

So yes I was flattered but mostly humbled that the lwa choose me to wed. Many see spiritual marriage as guaranteed success in life, where obstacles are overcome with greater ease and doors are opened. I saw my invitation as a blessing to me and my family. Of course, sex can be seen as a fringe benefit I guess but it is definitely not the main reason. I have only had one instance of this and it was fleeting but leaving me with greater desire for my human wife. I am not married yet.

Who wouldn't want an easier life where goals are easily accomplished? The marriage is for life, with no divorce, so one is guaranteed a lifetime of assistance. The requests of the human spouse of a lwa are given priority over someone who is not a spouse and the spouse has greater access due to their deeper relationship with the lwa. I offer the following quotes to better explain.

Why would someone want to marry a lwa?
•The lwa that is the spouse offers protection, health, luck, patronage, blessings and support.
•To make a deeper connection, a better relationship with the lwa, or because the lwa demands it (a lwa sometimes demands marriage with a specific person through dreams, possession, or a reading by a Houngan or Mambo).
•The person does not want to initiate (kanzo).
•The person does not want to be obligated to any specific person.
•The person made a promise to the lwa.
•The lwa made a contract with the individual for specific work.
•The person wants to work with that lwa very closely.
•Cheaper than the kanzo ceremony.
•Communication with the lwa through dreams.
http://vodoureligion.com/2011/04/mariaj-lwa/

Maryaj Lwa

In Haiti it is very common for Vodouisant, both those that are initiated and those that are not initiated to marry one or more of the Lwa, the Spirits of Haitian Vodou. Outside of Haiti this is also one of the hardest ceremonies for people to understand.
The Maryaj Lwa is a ceremony for a Vodouisant that is truly dedicated to the Spirits. This ceremony is a marriage with all the rights and responsibilities that marriage entails. This mystical and spiritual union brings the many blessings of the Lwa to the human spouse, including abundance, protection, health, luck and all the other blessings that the Spirits bring. The marriage is an extremely personal experience and a lifetime commitment between both the human spouse and the Lwa.
The maryaj Lwa is just like any other wedding. There is a great deal of planning which goes into the ceremony and preparation for the human spouse as well. A marriage contract is prepared and signed both by the human spouse and the Lwa in which the Lwa promises their care and protection. The human spouse has obligations as well. Not only will they wear their wedding ring which is the outward symbol of the marriage, but they will also remain celibate on the Spirits day for the rest of their lives. Aside from the wedding rings the human spouse will also have to provide wedding clothes and champagne to celebrate the wedding. You will also have witnesses, and can have family and friends come to witness the wedding rite. After the religious ceremony we have a party. There is wedding cake, there is a party and this can be as elaborate or simple as you wish for it to be. We will celebrate!
Maryaj Lwa, as I mentioned, has obligations for the human spouse as well. Once you are married to the Lwa you will offer that Lwa service for the rest of your life. On the day of the Lwa you will remain celibate, you will offer candles and drinks to your L'wa and you will wear your wedding ring. There is no divorce, so this union is forever; but comes with so many blessings that they cannot even be counted.
http://www.kiwimojo.com/vodouservices.htm

 

[Marie85]

Sorry for replying so late, we've recently had a death in the family.

Thanks so much for information. I really know so little of these relationships and I'm glad to have someone give A first hand account.
I apologize if my response offending you in anyway. Again I am quite ignorant of these relationships and have welcomed all knowledge you have brought regarding the subject.