Black Relationships : Marriage Taken Lightly Article by Flo- Real

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by FloReal916, Mar 23, 2006.

  1. FloReal916

    FloReal916 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Marriage is taken so lightly these days, and it shouldn't be, I remember when men and women alike wouldn't even dare commit adultery because it just was not right and they feared God! and if they did, they worked through it. Now days people marry because it sounds good or they deem it as the modern day fad, and if it's not working then they split, and that's sad. No one deserves to be walked down the isle for the wrong reason and no one definitely deserves to be walked down the isle if they are not loved whole heartedly by the other person.

    Just because you are attached to his/her children- doesn't mean you need to stay and is not a reason to stay
    You can still be involved in the Childs life and put yourself in a position of happiness

    Just because he/she was there for you while you were in jail up for 3 years- doesn't mean you are obligated to marry or stay with him/her. That was their job as your mate.

    Just because you guys were together in high school and you happen to meet up 12 years later does not mean that you were meant to be

    If you are in the relationship because of convenience of a job, money, or place to stay, you should not marry or fool the person into thinking that you want to marry them

    If you can maintain another relationship with another woman/man and it's serious, you should do a self evaluation before claiming to marry the person that your with. especially if you act a different way around the both of them. If your lady friend brings out the best in you, and your woman doesn't... this may need to be part of the self evaluation

    Outside of people's grandparents I can't say that I know of 5 couples that have been married for over 5 years, this generation doesn't even try to work things out, we are so quick to run and jump at the first sign of trouble, till we never even get a chance to see how much it is that we can endure.

    If you really need to know and understand what it is and means to God, to marry, then read the bible, and understand that it is taken very seriously contrary to belief.

    On the flipside, if you know with all mind, body, and spirit that in the pit of your soul where God dwells... that your mate dwells there also, and no other person....then you may need to go ahead and take it to the alter, If no other woman/man can do anything to sway you their way, and you do nothing but stand on who the love of your life is, then I say marry them in the bible it says it is better to marry then to burn, so I encourage you! I just want you to make sure that you know that the only way out of marriage the right way....is death. So really know the person your with, weigh out the pro's and con's of everything, Follow your heart & not your conscience, and self evaluate before making this life long move, and when you do... you will find that past the pain it will be for the betterment of your heart, mind, body, and soul.

    God Bless
    Aisha G.
    A.K.A. Flo- Real

    Written: 3-23-06
     
  2. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Excellent article Flo-Real!
     
  3. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    Very on point and enlighting facts , time we all start changing how
    our children see and accept marriage, how these vows are taken on
    a more value this was a great article i agree with Pan just, Excellent .
     
  4. FloReal916

    FloReal916 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thanks family!
     
  5. Tantrum

    Tantrum Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Yo this too real I hope more
    People understand where you are coming from
    Cause it is so true-People fall in love
    Get married for all the wrong reasons
    LOL-Cause they were in high school, meet back up 12 years later
    Yup they think is destiny I think its a joke
    Good Very Good Points Sister
     
  6. wmmxh29

    wmmxh29 New Member MEMBER

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    Very good point,however, you have the other end of the spectrum whereby you have people that do not feel it necessary to marry. Mainly, I guess because they feel they do not have to. They can have all the trimmings without the piece of paper. I think this is also an issue we are facing too.
     
  7. NNQueen

    NNQueen going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    More on the topic

    I found an interesting article about Black Americans and marriage. Some of it is discouraging but not all of it. It's fairly recent, 2003, but I think it might offer some information that sometimes we don't think about when we look at Black relationships. It also reminds us of how racism contributes to almost every aspect of our daily lives and therefore, we can't afford to look at our situations in isolation of that fact. We discuss a lot about Black relationships here. Black women...Black men...we are filled with questions as to why many of us can't seem to find our mates. Black men are viewed as "playas" and not commitment material; Black women are portrayed as selfish and gold diggers. Is this a pervasive opinion than runs outside and within American society? Is something really wrong with us and if so, what can WE do about it? Maybe in order to improve or change what we think is wrong, we do need to realize that much or at least some of it stems from a racist society.

    Check it out:

    "The shocking state of Black marriage: experts say many will never get married"

    http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1077/is_1_59/ai_110361377

    Queenie :spinstar:
     
  8. SAMURAI36

    SAMURAI36 Banned MEMBER

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    QUEEN, with the discouraging statements and experiences that have been shared here, are you at all surprised that this is turning out to be the case?

    I'm not.
     
  9. NNQueen

    NNQueen going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    No, I'm not surprised Bro. Samurai. Very little surprises me these days. Even though there is so much despair around me, I try to remain hopeful and encouraged. We can't allow our emotions to control us or dominate the way we think. We have to find a balance between what we believe, how we feel, how we think and what we do. But I've come to also realize that before we can begin to have the type of conversations that we need to have about our condition as Black people, we need to first look at ourselves, understand how race places a key part in everything we do, how it influences how we think, and understand that we will have multiple perspectives.

    Queenie :spinstar:
     
  10. SAMURAI36

    SAMURAI36 Banned MEMBER

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    I think also key to this, is that we examine what is immediately preventing us from forming fruitful relationships. There is a specific pathology at work here. In that respect, this subject is intrinsic to some of the other topics being discussed on here.

    This article that you posted makes an interesting (thought duly sad) point:

    I can relate to this. Given my own predicament, I don't see myself getting married till much later in my years (probably late 40's and beyond), if at all. Brothers like our own MISS. RED apparently don't want to get married at all (though for different reasons than my own situation).

    This article did not give any specific reasons for this situation, but in my view, the reasons are pretty obvious.
    As I said in another thread, I think that our direct actions effect our ability and opportunity to create happiness for ourselves.

    As always, I would love to read your input on this matter.

    PEACE
     
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