Black Relationships : Marriage is for White people...

spicybrown said:
Kemetstry said:
When a 70% oow birth rate exploded in ours. There is no way around this. Today, it is easier in the minds of folx to shack up, than it is to formally commit. None of us want to stare this reality in the face and deal with it. We keep talking around it.


What do you think is really stopping a couple from getting married, although they may have been an item for several years? Who would take the blame in that instance?



Many just dont see it as necessary today. Some are just scared. Many have never seen a stable relationship in their lives. The parents dont realize the damage they inflict on future generations
 
Really?!!?

NNQueen said:
Speak for yourself Kemestry. You can't make generalizations like this and expect people to take you seriously. Maybe if you would spend more time here to stop and read the thousands of posts in the discussion forums you will see that the majority of comments from members is evidence that they take our issues seriously. Most people speak from their personal experiences so how can you assume they aren't staring reality in the face or aren't dealing with it? You claim that members are "talking around it." What EXACTLY is the point that you are trying to make each time you comment in a thread? The ONLY one that I can see is you BLAMING BLACK WOMEN for everything wrong in the Black community, regardless of the topic. Mookie this and Mookie that. It's old, it's tired and its relevance to us as a people may be a small percentage of problems that we need to be dealing with.

You shouldn't assume that every child born of an unmarried couple was spawned by Mookie. Every child born outside of a two-parent household isn't necessarily a part of a dysfunctional family unit. You give no credit to the fathers who support their children or the mothers who do their best to raise their children in a healthy, loving environment. Whether a couple is married or not doesn't mean squat if they are living together and raising their babies to be healthy, knowledgeable and well-grounded human beings. So if white people are running off to get married more frequently than Black people, so what? Is their a direct correlation between that and the divorce rate among white people? Do their "formal" vows outlast any "informal" vows that Black people make to each other?

Kemestry, all you see are statistics and you run away with it like you know everything and I don't think you do. You have to know how to interpret the data...to get behind the numbers/percentages to be able to see what's really going on; not do like Bill Cosby does and generalize and blame "those people".

It's about US...not those people. They are part of US and we, you included, need to start understanding that and acting like you do. We are in this situation together, aren't we? Are WE as bad as the American media would like to make us THINK that we are? Sure, we have our share of problems BUT, compared to other "races", are we any worse than they are? I don't think so, but the difference is, if a Black person does ANYTHING, the spot like shines on us highlighting it all.

Is THIS what you want everyone else to face? Is this the way you think all of us should think? Thank goodness I don't and because I don't doesn't mean that I'm not aware of nor willing to face the problems within the Black community. I just choose to do it from an different point of reference and not from this pseudo "tough love" approach that you claim you're using.

Give up some love every once and a while and I daresay, if you do, YOU might feel better about your Black brothers AND SISTERS!

Queenie :jumping:


The data speaks for itself. The article speaks for itself. Marriage has become passe in our community. That isnt a generalization.

Put forth your info to the contrary
 

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