Black Relationships : Marriage for the Mixed-Race (NOT Mixed-Race Marriage)

You have to do what comes naturally to you. Be who you are. Discern yourself with "history's" truimphs and failures. You don't have to feel like you have a heavy load to carry. Be you. People are going to be a-holes regardless. If you show love the love, will come back. If you show hate the hate comes back. It's that simple. I can't tell you about growing up with a black and white parent. But I can tell you about learning to understand you.

Asking questions are great. But asking the question of your innerself is greater. Go with what you know best. There are good and bad on both sides of the "races". If you are trusting of yourself you will find people you can trust. And that's all that matters in the long run. That you are able to live you life, so YOU can get most out of it.

Cut down on the drama and simplify things. (Just a general statement, not directed to you per se.)
That's actually excellent advice. It seems to contradict your previous comments to me.
 
@Amnat77 and any one else who can help

OK this is going off topic again, but since Amnat brought it up in this thread I might as well put this here - I've been looking up this passive aggressive thing on the net - and I need to know if other people apart from Amnat77 think I've got this or not - cause this has got me rather worried... now these are the things it say on the medical site that are the things PA people have / show and my thoughts about them...

Ambiguity - I guess what I say can be seen that way at times, but I think that's just because I tend to think out loud and often I'm really asking a question rather than making a statement + a lot of the time I'm not really sure about things anyway.
Forgetfulness - don't think this one applies really
Blaming - I don't think I've got this one as I'll easily put my hands up and admit when I've done something wrong
Lack of Anger - I definitely show this one - in normal life I think I've only ever really shown anger once when this guy just pushed me way beyond my limit
Fear of Dependency - definitely don't think this one applies
Fear of Intimacy - nor this one
Obstructionism - or this one
Victimization - OK I can see this one in me and I do take offence easily - I even get offended sometimes when the other person isn't even trying to offend me, but is that because I'm PA or just cause of my background - I'm thinking less of race issues here as I never really had that many things thrown at me because of that, but I did get a lot of verbal abuse as a kid through high school due to being in Special Ed.
Procrastination - don't think this one applies.

Some honest answers are needed here please as if I've got this I need it fixed and since I'm going to get some councelling for some other issues I could get this sorted at the same time.
Sorry to use you guys as some kind of free Psych service, but if you can help that would be great.
 
That's was for the young lady.

That's actually excellent advice. It seems to contradict your previous comments to me.

Of course my comments to you are a contradiction. You have 2 Black parents and act like one is white and one is Black. So I can see why you say contradiction. The contradiction is you acting like you're the only black man who has ever lived. All the pain over the centuries that was and is done to Black People, is no concerned for you. You seek to appease the skipper while living on gilligan's island.


You are a Black Man over the age of 36. With (2) Black parents. All my comments to you stand. Our "history" shows us being raped, lynched and outright murdered. Yet you come along to say "forget histor,y let's all be good ole boys and follow what master says.

This war that's been going on for about 3,000 years is all psychological. And you're not helping. Especially how you defend your "blackness", which by the way is not acentuated by a Black Queen in your presence.

If you'd like to know what I'm talking here, let's start with this. This country's capital is Washington D.C.. The District of Columbia right. So if Washington D.C. is the District of Columbia, where in the hells is Columbia?

Few people can answer this question. The "history" books say Columbia was the name of territory in the surrounding area where capital lies. And people believe that. Just like they think the federal reserve bank is federal. lol
 
You have to do what comes naturally to you. Be who you are. Discern yourself with "history's" truimphs and failures. You don't have to feel like you have a heavy load to carry. Be you. People are going to be a-holes regardless.

Of course my comments to you are a contradiction. You have 2 Black parents and act like one is white and one is Black. So I can see why you say contradiction. The contradiction is you acting like you're the only black man who has ever lived. All the pain over the centuries that was and is done to Black People, is no concerned for you. You seek to appease the skipper while living on gilligan's island.

Your logic is so seriously flawed. For all intents and purposes, the "young lady" is White. She is a blonde hair, blue eyed White girl. Yet your comment to her is "do what comes naturally to you", which is great advice. Now, if she happens to marry a brother with two black parents, your comment to him would be "You have 2 Black parents and act like one is white and one is Black".

My great grandmother had a white father(not by rape), does that mean I now get the freedom to "do what comes naturally" to me now or do I still have to carry the heavy load of being enslaved to your ideology? Because, people are going to be aholes, regardless...LOL (By aholes, did you mean people like you who think it is their business to stick their nose into the personal life choices of others?) LOL....you really need to check your logic...its wack.
 
That depends entirely upon WHO you are trying to please concerning YOUR life decisions.


Personally, I can't imagine why anyone would be concerned about what the general population thinks about their personal life choices. Are you really interested in enslaving yourself to the opinion of others?

Stefia I think Full Speed's reply sums it all up in one statement. But you obviously don't possess that kind of power or you wouldnt have created your post. I'll give you my opinion. by the way I don't possess that power either. I don't date other types of women for two reasons; 1. I love my beautiful black women. 2. I'm not prepared or capable of dealing with what goes along with being in an interracial relationship, particularly black and white. Now on that note, of course i've seen my fair share of attractive women of other races and would entertain the thought of pairing with spanish, hispanic or asian especially the darker skin variety of the three.

You'll have to excuse my way of thinking now, if I as a black man was with a mixed raced woman and her mixture has black in it, then NO I do not consider that to be an interracial relationship. Doesnt matter how light or bright she is. If she's black and anything(hispanic,asian,white). You know, we mix good with everything(random thought). They say that whatever the the father is then the child is that race. But what if the father is white and the child is dark skinned, would that child still be considered white? I always say it's whatever you look like. If you look black, your black and vice versa. I think on advantage people of mixed races have is they can see the world from two perspectives. I would think.

In the end though Stefia if you have the confidence and strength to not focus on opinions and views which is very hard to do, love and happiness is what matters in the end. Life is too short.
 

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