Black Relationships : Marriage as we know it is disappearing...

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by Regina, Nov 18, 2003.

  1. Regina

    Regina Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2002
    Messages:
    324
    Likes Received:
    2
    Occupation:
    Engineer
    Location:
    Metro Atlanta
    Ratings:
    +2
    I grew up during a time when most families had a father and a mother in the home. It is sad this is no longer the case with the high divorce rate and so many homes headed by single mothers.

    Has anyone seen this web site? It is written by a white male who is very anti-marriage.

    www.nomarriage.com

    Also check this out...Massachusetts court rules against gay marriage ban

    www.cnn.com/2003/LAW/11/18/samesex.marriage.ruling/index.html
     
  2. Nia Maishani

    Nia Maishani Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2001
    Messages:
    1,314
    Likes Received:
    1
    Occupation:
    Business Owner
    Location:
    Displaced at the Junction of Hoosiers and Bluegras
    Ratings:
    +1
    Can we talk here about why it is important for people to value the institution of marriage, how the single-mother-as-head-of-household phenomenon can be changed, and why two same-sex people who believe they should marry should not be allowed? Why are these three imperatives critical to the individual as well as the society?
     
  3. Joker

    Joker Active Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2003
    Messages:
    27
    Likes Received:
    0
    Occupation:
    Ceo of illdelph records
    Location:
    illadelphia
    Ratings:
    +0
    People go in to marriage too lightly. It isn’t something to be taking lightly. As for gay marriages, we as black people should understand the gay community’s struggle for equality. No one is asking for acceptance just equal rights.
     
  4. SayWord

    SayWord Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2003
    Messages:
    303
    Likes Received:
    3
    Ratings:
    +3
    I agree with Joker. I think people enter into marriag too lightly. No one takes the time to think about what marriage really is. Marriage is a forever thing, not a until I get bored thing.
     
  5. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2001
    Messages:
    69,983
    Likes Received:
    3,978
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    BUSINESS owner
    Location:
    Da~WINDY*CITY //CHICAGO
    Ratings:
    +4,178
    many have cross true love and respect of marriage
    for a blissful common thing i too agree with Joker
     
  6. NNQueen

    NNQueen going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2001
    Messages:
    6,376
    Likes Received:
    1,431
    Gender:
    Female
    Ratings:
    +1,863
    As for the white man being opposed to marriage, why be concerned about what he thinks? Isn't it obvious that they think differently than Africans and not in ways that are conducive to us or healthy for us? So, I'm not concerned about their opinions on marriage.

    As for most families back in the day being mostly two parent households does not necessarily translate into or mean that all of these families were healthy. Just means that two people that had children were living under the same roof. Whether single parent or two-parent families, it takes more than them to raise healthy and well-adjusted children. Our community is far less supportive than it used to be. Geographically we're not as close or live in the same neighborhoods as we used to. Where we once saw each other's children every day, we're lucky if we see them once a week in church if at all now.

    Single parent homes are not all problemmatic homes just as all two-parent homes are not 'perfect' homes. It's about the mindset and maturity of the parent in my opinion. Let's not stereotype single parent homes by giving the impression that they can't raise healthy children because many of them can and often do. Where are the extended families that many of us were raised by?

    As for gay marriages now being legal in the State of Massachusetts, I'm not concerned about that. As long as they are not infringing on my rights, trying to oppress me or impose their lifestyle on me, then why should I be concerned with some of us that participate in this lifestyle? I'm not going to judge them or preach at or to them as though my way is the only right way and they need to be condemned for theirs.
     
  7. Sun Ship

    Sun Ship Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2003
    Messages:
    1,630
    Likes Received:
    38
    Ratings:
    +39
    To marry or not to marry, that is the question.

    Peace,

    I read some of the statements at the nomarraige.com web page and found his approach, to probably a very serious subject, unnecessarily abrasive and sort of comical (tongue and cheek). But I have always believed, the idea of marrying without a functional and socially reflective concept is just a formal and ceremonial acting-out of the generic term (to marry) for witnessing the symbiotic uniting of two independent entities.

    The institution, as we knew it, usually, or better yet originally, ritualized fertility and heredity as it applied to a tribe or village. The marriage phenomenon is more about ritual, religious governance and inheritance than it is about soul-mating, cohabitation and spiritual commonality. Relational ethics and mores as they apply to courtship, sexuality and matrimony vary, and are as different, from culture to culture, as attire, diet, language or any other cultural norms. Archaic ceremonies and concepts created to induce marital bliss were conceived in hunter/gatherers and agrarian (farming) societies, when our ideas about the role of men, women and children were quite different than what has developed in the recent industrial/technological age, which is barely over a century old. Many of our forbearers didn’t leave the farm until the 1930’s. Matter of fact, if we reviewed the 1930’s Black migrations to the north and the deterioration of two-parent Black families, I wouldn’t be surprised that shortly after settling in the urban enviroment, the Black family started to slowly redefine itself or was detrimentally redefined by outside influence.

    I don’t think we can afford to pick and choose what particular valiant characteristics of man-hood and womanhood (as applied to role-play) in the confines of marriage are survivable, in order to salvage the overall institution, without examining the historical and sociological ramifications that supported the original invention of this ideal, i.e. marriage.

    In closing, I don’t think African Americans should overly concern their selves with the so-called Gay marriage issue and the underlying civil rights issues of the Gay community, for the Gay community has overwhelming resources and lobbying power that is beyond social, political or racial limitations. Matter of fact, for those African Americans that passionately embrace the romantic ideas of traditional heterosexual marriage and the bliss that follows, should take note to recent legal and social developments, only if the Gay community beats them to the chapel. :lol: In other words, we have enough on our own barren “relationship-plate” to nibble at.

    Ashe,

    Sun Ship
     
  8. NNQueen

    NNQueen going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2001
    Messages:
    6,376
    Likes Received:
    1,431
    Gender:
    Female
    Ratings:
    +1,863
    Brother Sunship, outstanding post!

    Peace!
     
  9. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2001
    Messages:
    69,983
    Likes Received:
    3,978
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    BUSINESS owner
    Location:
    Da~WINDY*CITY //CHICAGO
    Ratings:
    +4,178
    I truely agree with sunship here this what need to be more focus on thank you for a worthy statement that
    truely hit it on the head .
     
  10. HerukhuMaat

    HerukhuMaat Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Aug 13, 2003
    Messages:
    92
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Bucktown USA
    Ratings:
    +0

    I've checked out the site. It's very entertaining to say the least. I looked through the site thoroughly and he does make some interesting points.
    For the most part he says that personally he thinks marriage is overrated however, he does mention that if it's with the right person (non-American women) as he defines it, it's absolutely okay.

    Don't over look this one important area as well.
    http://www.nomarriage.com/kids.html

    He brings up a very critical issue that most people don't consider like the financial ramifications to marriage and how despite love, the court system benefits women in times of divorce. Here are some excerpts from the site:

    Love.
    >> Two people can love each other without the marriage contract.
    ** Doesn't feel like love in divorce court.
    *** Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.


    Health insurance.
    >> Minor benefit. If both people are working, it's a non-issue. And the marriage penalty in taxes offsets this benefit.
    ** That's a bull**** reason for getting married.


    I for one agree with the institution of marriage, however I believe that most divorce laws were made to benefit women because at the time they were drafted, women depended on men for their security and well being. Times have changed and I believe the laws should reflect the times as well.
     
Loading...
Similar Threads - Marriage disappearing
  1. sekou kasimu
    Replies:
    0
    Views:
    117
  2. tarhaka bey
    Replies:
    10
    Views:
    203
  3. AACOOLDRE
    Replies:
    0
    Views:
    88
  4. Liberty
    Replies:
    26
    Views:
    1,003
  5. KMeister
    Replies:
    8
    Views:
    527