Mama Who Stole The Blue Print In Being A Man Mama said boy be a man, mama said follow the rules, there is no image of a man who lives within theses doors, mama said boy you are no good. Mama said I got daddies ways. Mama cries in the mist of the night. Living in a house where men turn on and off as lights. Mama said daddy shows no love. Mama said boy go to school, mama never lives by her own rules. Mama do Gurley things, I am a boy I resent the image she displays. I’m not a girl I am a man. That what mama says. Living in the ghetto I must live by my own laws. There are times that I wish daddy was here. Living in the eyes of women. What image do I represent. The streets that I walk, the gangs of my turf. Challenging the image of my state of mind, I must display, cold and shivering as I walk the battle grounds that I live. Mama don’t understand the roles that I play. Tears that feel my chest. I am a man I must not cry, It will make me look like a girl, and then I will become the streets prey. My friends are my family even though they don’t give a dam, If I go to jail I stand alone. So what’s t he difference I do it now. Watching mama get her as- beat, shaking in the middle of the night. A man she said I must call dad. Daddy never would hit mama like that. Hating me because I have my daddy smile. Mama crying in the middle of the night. Going to get my gun and he will be gone. Mama work from sun up to sun down. Mama tell me to call him daddy as he beats her down. Mama is blind as me, she say do as I say not what I do. My philosophy will be my own dismay. I do as I please, just like she do. Mama said I am a man so I will act as she do. Who needs school and what will it give my image of a man. Teachers don’t give a dam if you learn are not. Mama always believe what the teaches say. Telling me to read a book that I don’t understand. Mama smoking weed, party every week end. Dam I am a man I will live as she dose. I am lost and can’t find my way. Mama beats me when daddy makes her mad. Mama hates me the looks of a man. Why must I obey the rules of a women? even though she gave me birth, she dose not act like a mother. There’s no time that she shares, routine she gives, it's like I am not there. She preaches that I must obey the rules, but the rules she display its only for those under her control. I sit within the quiet room, wondering why daddy is not home, mama did it all, she made daddy go away. Even though she cry, I don’t feel her pain mine is to deep. I am a man I fight for my identify, as those who live upon the belly of the beast. I shall not be denied of the material things my friends have on the other side. Even though mama tries hard, I must do what I have to do, if I want to survive. Mama said I am the man of t he house. A women can’t teach a boy how to be a man, if I am the man why don’t she allow me to be. I know am a boy, but I must grow up fast, because the world moves so slow. As I walk upon the streets, Cops want to beat down on me. Criminals on Patrol, Justice that I must obey. I live the codes of the street, A army that will take my life. Mama only thinking about her self. The gangsters that wait upon my death. There is no father I can call, there is no image to teach me self control, mama always crying and screaming about her self. If I am a man I shall have the pleasures of his choice, mama said stand up boy. Be a man, what is a man that I must relate to. Mama trying to find me a daddy, I want my own. Who gives a dam about family, there’s no families where I live. Mama always crying about the gifts she give. Money can’t buy my daddy which I keep hide within. Lynched by the system, now through my fathers eyes. Mama keep telling me that I will not make it in this world. I am a warrior so I will sell drugs. Mama can’t give me the image of a man. I make my money and take care of my self. I don’t worry about death, I am already dead, a helpless image of self. Guns shots above my head, criminals who want t o kill me for t he colors that I wear. The system says I am useful as a man. I will not crawl under I am a man. I rob and I steal to survive, I told mama I can take care of my self. Mycological lynching each and every day. Long to hear the words from my father son. Let me tell you the secrets of being a great man. Oh how I cry upon the night, turning my pillows on the other side. Where is my daddy bring him home please, I am tired of the choices of men you bring within our family tree. Looking at me like I am not suppose to be here.