Black Relationships : males opinions on dating single mothers

Originally Posted by SAMURAI36
Unless these men raped these women (which of course is not condoned), then the responsibility is equally shared.......However, I have yet to hear women accept responsibility for the poor choices that they play in their lives.

I suppose you are right. Exuse me for having faith in my BLACK MAN and believing that he would not fall by the wayside and become a sorry @ss baby daddy like many BLACK MEN do.

Pardon me Baby,
you need to realize that far less Black single mothers leave their children to be raised by someone else then Black fathers do.


It is truly sad to see how women continue to blame men for the mistakes that they (women) make

Is it also sad that many Black Single Mothers do all they can to make sure their children are cared for
working, nurturing, loving, and fathering

You brothers need to get it together

SAMURAI36 ask yourself how many black guys you know that have children and are nowhere close to being in their lives, or how about the ones who just act like they don't even have any children at all.

Better yet how about the mothers left holding the diaper bag and doing it all on their own. smh....
instead of blaming her why not applaud her for at least taking on her own responsibility by caring for the seed that sprung from her loins, and furthermore applauding her for doing it all by herself without the aid of a man.

I will not make light of single parenthood because I am a single parent myself raising a son and two daughters whom I love very much.
Yes it is D@MN HARD brotha to do this alone.
But guess what I accept the challenge with open arms and an open heart
because those three are mine and my responsibility alone. They look to me when they are hungry, thirsty, angry, happy, sad, confused, hurt or whatever
and I love every minute of it Brotha

I am investing in the future by investing in my children and that Sir is NO MISTAKE

PEACE
 
sweettee29 said:
I suppose you are right. Exuse me for having faith in my BLACK MAN and believing that he would not fall by the wayside and become a sorry @ss baby daddy like many BLACK MEN do.

I could say the very same thing about Black women. This solves nothing. If he is nothing more than a "sorry @ss baby daddy", then what does that make her, for choosing to be with him in the first place?

Further, just as I continue to say in the Spiritual section, problems will always persist, so long as "believing and faith" serve as the focal means of criteria establishment.

Would you "believe" or "have faith" that a one-legged man is going to win a race? :run:

Sometimes, the signs are right there in front of our eyes. The same man that was no good after the fact, was also no good in the beginning.

It doesn't take a "psychic" to recognize the signs.

Pardon me Baby,
you need to realize that far less Black single mothers leave their children to be raised by someone else then Black fathers do.

Why are you mentioning this? This is not in contention--at least not on my part.

Is it also sad that many Black Single Mothers do all they can to make sure their children are cared for
working, nurturing, loving, and fathering

You brothers need to get it together

This Brother already has it together. I'm smart enough to know that, at this point in my life, children aren't for me, and neither is a woman with them.

SAMURAI36 ask yourself how many black guys you know that have children and are nowhere close to being in their lives, or how about the ones who just act like they don't even have any children at all.

I've already admitted here, that I know quite a few. See one of my earlier posts, for the details. Thus, no reason to beat a dead horse.

None of this has any bearing on the fact of WHY I and others here personally choose not to date single mothers.

Better yet how about the mothers left holding the diaper bag and doing it all on their own. smh....

See above.

instead of blaming her why not applaud her for at least taking on her own responsibility by caring for the seed that sprung from her loins, and furthermore applauding her for doing it all by herself without the aid of a man.

Apparently you have not been understanding my argument; I give many single mothers all the applause in the world. However, that does not translate into her being a suitable mate for me.

Is this something that you can come to accept?

I will not make light of single parenthood because I am a single parent myself raising a son and two daughters whom I love very much.

Neither would I, nor have I.

Yes it is D@MN HARD brotha to do this alone.

I agree.

But guess what I accept the challenge with open arms and an open heart
because those three are mine and my responsibility alone. They look to me when they are hungry, thirsty, angry, happy, sad, confused, hurt or whatever
and I love every minute of it Brotha
''

Fair enough. However, what does this have to do with me, and the lifestyle that I (and those like me) are choosing to live?

I am investing in the future by investing in my children and that Sir is NO MISTAKE

PEACE

Uhmmm, it seems that you are having trouble keeping your arguments together here.

No where did I imply that having a child is a "mistake".

What "mistake" applies to, is the fact that a woman would make the "mistake" of being with a man, who clearly demonstrates in his demeanor that he is not responsible enough to sire a child, yet she proceeds forth with him just the same.

Besides, that was in reference to what LOVELYGOLDENONE said:

Don't you realize that people make mistakes in life?????

Some "mistakes" need not be made, if one applies a proper system of ethics, with which to choose a mate.

That's also why I stated that for the blame to be placed on a man, based on "where he places his penis" is perposterous.

Unless a man is raping a woman, then there is no way that he is putting his penis anywhere near her, unless she is allowing, and even inviting it.

To suggest otherwise, shows a real level of immaturity.

PEACE
 
spicybrown said:
No, I just applied that right back to you.

Dear, I have already seen, reviewed many reams of data on this. The facts are quite compelling
 
Destee said:
Sisters ... don't let Kemetsry upset your nerves. He's always been this way. Actually, he used to be much worse.Actually, I am worse now that I am armed with the data

It seems with him being an Elder, he'd be more able to talk to people in a decent and respectful manner, that elicits growth instead of disdain ... but he's just not there yet.The disdain, is the one demanding that only one view be dealt with

Perhaps if we ignore him, his ugly comments against women and men ... comments that do nothing to instill growth, but instead attempt to shame people for partaking in acts that are very natural, given to us from God ... well ... if we ignore him, perhaps he'll get the message, recognize where he is, and give us the wisdom that i believe is within him, in a manner that is productive and kind.Perhaps, if we just deal with the topic and quit trying to signify........ and answer the question!!!!!!and.....

We can hope Sisters ... just like we hope those Brothers who create babies will take care of them ... just like we hope Sisters will choose carefully who they allow inside of them ... we can hope that those Elders in our community, with the knowledge and wisdom to guide us to better places ... will do that in the best of manners.Again you go off topic

For the terrible condition our people are in now ... all are needed.

:heart:

Destee


None of you seem willing to respect the men that dont want to be bothered with someone elses baggage. WHY?
 
spicybrown said:
You obviously have a problem with single mothers if you deem children from a previous relationship as baggage. SMH. Don't deal with single mothers. Maybe you date single mothers because a childless woman will not accept you being a single father. Don't project your rejection onto us. Don't spread misery; can it!

Peace



Really?!!?

I deem them trying to place someone elses burden on me as the females baggage. That is exactly what it is from the other males perspective. You continue to try to use false myths and platitudes to the contrary. I date all kinds for your info. The moms dont expect me to be in their childrens lives. Why do you? :darts:
 

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