Looking back in retrospect, I thought I had it going on. For me, big has always been around me, so to become big was a part of my destiny, so I thought. Still not little, but smaller than I was I looked at me through the mirror. I looked at me in the front, on the side; with clothes, without clothes ... But I don't like what I see. It hurts to know that I am healing because I thought change from my old self would be better so I could enhance my new self. ... But I don't like what I see. Don't look at me, I know that no one could love me in this state, No one can see the beauty I once thought I possessed, ... Because I don't like what I see. I know I will heal and everything will be better and the beauty I once possessed will again be revealed to me, But until then, don't make me see what you see, Because I'm having a big problem with loving me. One day soon, I'll stand in that mirror and I'll smile at the work of mans hands, and when that day comes I'll share my joy with you Meanwhile, I am learning to love me all over again.