I search for a way. A way of escape. Stuck between a rock and a hard place. I don’t know where to turn. My mind, a blank. I can’t bring myself to feel the same pain. I can only sit here as the darkness envelopes me. No. Why does it have to be torture? When he’s proven himself far more then worthy? Making a mockery of what I once was. I cannot.... I cannot. I am so lost. In need of so much guidance. I am defeated. Why? What bond keeps me chained, to a fate that doesn’t have to be inevitable? What will it take to break free, and finally reach what so rightfully belongs to me? I am lost. Eternally lost. In a pitch blackness I have placed upon myself. Too stuck in my own misguided fear, to put forth trust or faith. I am numb. Oh so numb. For a feeling I will not allow. Will this fear forever keep me as loves fool? Afraid...... of fear itself I suppose. What am I to do?