Poetry Critiques : Love

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by selecta, May 5, 2005.

  1. selecta

    selecta Member MEMBER

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    U fall in it, like a 8ft hole
    U fall out like skydiver but no parachute
    It makes u smile
    It makes u frown
    Never wanting it to leave
    Always wanting more

    More, More, More

    So Forgiving, and there is faith
    So unconditional, trust is a must
    Most importantly it is real and true
    Most importantly humble and pure

    It is hurt so badly when your heart is broken

    You feel so alone
    Nothing makes sense
    Fear to trust mess
    U don’t even have a clue
    Ur first maybe a crush
    Or it may crush you

    A fresh picked red rose on a spring day

    Beautiful, ready, growing, opening
    Sun up, Sun down
    So bright with delight
    Precious moonlight or candle light nights

    How do you who is the right one?

    On a familiar ride
    Who knows when it will end?
    A Joy ride, so many turns
    On Journey to find that one
    Can u hang; it starts when you’re young

    Can u weather the storm?

    Days/ night of making love
    Day/nights of u sleep on the couch
    Wondering if u said the right lines
    Through the good or bad times

    Hope you have it until, your earthly end

    Love is free, yet so priceless
    But cost some much
    Watch how u use
    U can lose it
    What has a beginning?
    Must have an end

    Nothing last forever

    A wise person said
    Nothing like it
    Means so much
    When in between 2 other words
    I and YOU,

    Dag, it is something about love.


    copyright 2005 by aaron-selecta
     
  2. 1poetsought

    1poetsought Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    This too is awfully good. Always recheck your work for omissions and spelling, okay?
     
  3. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    very nice poem , i agree with bruth 1poet
     
  4. AHMOSE

    AHMOSE Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    When I write a piece I read it over several times to make sure that it has proper flow and that it properly conveighs what I wanted to say in each line.
    Over all you did a good job..
    Thanks for sharing...
     
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