How I met this woman was natural. It was like we clicked three times for your mind like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz wanting to go home. The cycles of life are funny, especially when you review them, because if you live like I live then rewinding your life through thought is as inspiring as watching your favorite comedy sitcom after years of the episodes laying dormat in the part of your brain that stores up laughter. I'm not really a "planner", but still and all each move that I make always seems quite percise in leading me back to a place where I can find myself no matter how dim the world may have played the first time around, although technically it is the first time around again, but hell, that concept can only apply to those who already grasped the meaning of that prior sentence, the first time around. This night I was multi-tasking. I was thinking, observing, reading, chilling and re-tracing. "What led me here?" Well, I was hooking up with an ole musician friend, very, very talented. We were gonna stay together for a while, and make some music. I mean this guy was like my brother. Mostly, I just wanted to write and for him to compose a song for my sister to sing, because that's her dream. In any event, the begginning was going well. He took me to a party, and as I look around I was surrounded by starving entertainers. I was in the mix, jammin to some ole skool Hip Hop, looking around. I realized instantaneously that this isn't what I was looking for. Turns out my brother had won some validations from a very well known label, and was currently working with a really "big time" mainstream rapper. I was really kind of numb to this, because I was not interested. He told me how these guys were really family orientated as he had just visited with them. I explained to him what I beleived the value of the gift of Divine Speech in a belligerently aggressive way, and made him aware that a young 20 year old young man had just been murdered on his path, which was dead smack on this cat's label, so if they were interested in doing a song called eff the mainstream, we could get down. The next day he explained how we were on two different paths, and we should work together down the road. I cried, because there is no down the road. Sometimes the opportunity to do what you know is right only slides by one time. I love him so much, but what I saw was my brother, and he looked old, and he is my age. I look 20 years younger then he, so I think I'll keep chasing my own thoughts. No love lost. I really wish he would have just told me the truth. That he's gay, his mom's a minister, and the success that he is chasing, he feels will be the peace to honor a mother that has no love. I knew all of these things, and it's a lil scary because no one ever told me these things about him. He told me he knew who I was. He said, "your love. I've always known." And with all of his talent, his own insecurity remained his own void, so I took the love I had for him in my heart, and moved on all in one day.