Is it fair for any of us to ask our partner/spouse to love us as we are? It is understandable that all of us want to have the freedom to be who we really are around our lover. In fact, it is one of the things that makes us love them (the fact that we can be ourselves around them). But...shouldn't we strive to be the best we can be? We all know we will never be perfect, but shouldn't we work to be, not only for ourselves but for our respective partners. We all have flaws, so does that make it ok to say "this is my flaw take it or leave it, but I am not changing?" That seems to be the battle cry for the dysfunctional. Don't get me wrong, I know I have flaws, but the difference is...I won't ask my partner to love me IN SPITE of them...I will ask her to love me UNTIL i get them corrected...AND THEN I MAKE A CONSCIENCE EFFORT TO IMPROVE. This is because I want to be the best person I can be for me and for her. Isn't sacrifice one of the staples of love? So I don't believe she is out of line for asking me to 'handle my issues'. I understand that some of the "flaws" are things that draw us to a certain person. A querky laugh, silly disposition, funny mannerism are things that should not be worked on because they make us different. But..IMHO insecurity, lack of class, cheating, inablity to communicate, selfishness, or anything else that detracts from the harmony of a relationship should be worked on and not treated as just a part of one's personality that should be "accepted cuz you love me"