Black Poetry : Love is Blind

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by Timmytim04, Jul 2, 2007.

  1. Timmytim04

    Timmytim04 Member MEMBER

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    They say mooney Rules the world than so do Bullets
    but without u?...
    im always gonna be a dollar short of livin life to the fullest

    Cuz you truely heaven in the flesh
    a devil in a dress AND Jordan at his best
    and never again will i mistake love...for sex

    But ey? they say love is blind, which explains why
    i can only see you when i close both eyes

    cuz the *sh*t you speak is real,
    the **** u speak the dead can feel
    the **** u speak give def. Men chills

    Cuz you something like a curly headed mya angelou
    got me wantin 2 get butt naked so i could sing u d'angelo

    cuz yo! prime example.
    ur laura winslow and im urkel
    and i jus keep throwin love at ur head like them vonage commercials

    and check this.....

    If God was ever lookin 4 a wife
    no doubt it be you
    and if he made me choose between ...your hapiness and life,
    my days a be thru
    And If i had 2 go 2 war with the devil I'd be Straped 2 the BOOT!!!
    mark each bullets wit your name, so they laced with the truth!!
    cuz aint nothing in this world thas gonna keep me from u

    and if ur dude wanna Front than yea... he can get it 2

    That's why they say love blind.....

    and if i sound jelous it's cuz your man
    gets 2 touch u ina way i cant
    Mad cuz im the roots to your tree
    He's jus a leaf on a branch,

    He's Easily sawyed,
    And No disrepect
    but ur man is played
    I can beat any above avg dude on below avg.day!

    but thats why they say love is blind....

    U the only woman 2 ever parent my thoughts
    like a single mother raising a man
    And yes ima ball player but I'm not distracted by the hoes in the
    stands

    what they offer is superficial i need a Queen not a fan

    someone to make love official and fill the holes in this Man
    Cuz I wanna feel your pain like that man with the holes in his hands
    Cuz Beauty is seen by the man that beholds it in his hands

    Thas why i be like daamn everytime he gets to Hold your ****** Hand
    cuz that's me!

    cuz U pump gasoline thru my vains
    which spark burning thoughts in my brain
    and im not sayin love suppose 2 be simple
    But i shouldn't feel like ghost rider above the temple
    In simple terms u the thumb and I'm the lighter
    And I'm not denzel but ima man on fire
    4 you id stay in the streets like Cadillac tires
    I jus wanna hear your thoughts like ur minds been wired

    cuz they say love is blind.....which explains why i can only feel u when i close both eyes

    and Yo forget everyone else this is me and u talkin ....

    i often count each second in between or highs and goodbyes
    Jus 2 see if time slows when we not locking eyes

    cuz a minute feels like an hour and a hour feels like a week

    what might be a few days 2 u is like an enternity 2 me

    and u gonna clown me for this ... excuse me for being white....
    but i often think about takin u sky diving Right....

    so we can say we truely fall in love
    or so i could wait on the ground and watch u fly down
    and tell people u truely were a gift from above

    Its so obvious u got me shook
    And if given a chance
    We could be the jungle fever version of the note book

    All them other girls
    they just blockin my view
    like a glass wall
    Cuz I see there their
    but I see right thru em

    thas why they say love is blind....
    Cuz I see them other girls but I on pay em no mind!

    and if u wanna front... like u not coo wit God Thas fine
    but when we hug scars leave a trail were wings left behind
    And if you won't let me Touch u...
    than ima clutch u in my rhymes
    cuz you truely priceless! ina world that glorifies dimes!

    This is Poetry mistaken for a hymn, cuz ur scription is divine
    and may God Strike an honest man down if im lying
    cuz i might be wrong
    but don't fault a foolish man for tryin
    cuz ur Love got me falling like a dead bird flying

    But they say love is Blind.....which explain why I close both eyes as I write each line

    and i respect u stayin faithful
    That jus proves 2 me ur worth
    I jus want us 2 star a new life with u
    like twins being birthed!

    and i didn't make this **** up this **** is PROVEN!
    Beside every great man is even greater woman

    and the pain of not havin u only gets greater layta
    ii jus pray we not on borrowed time like tupac and jada

    cuz they say love is blind....
    and If u need food for thought
    i'd cook u verbal rice
    i mean jus name your ****** price!!

    whuts it gonna take for you and I 2 come 2gether
    cuz i promise if u mine u and i would... Come.... 2gether!

    and im not tryna be nasty!
    im just tryna keep it real
    4 u i'd kill
    so they could sentences me 2 death
    so i can speak love 2 u even in my last breath
    cuz i cant be killed when u give me life
    ill jus die and resurrect cuz u make me Christ...
    ona quest for perfection so i could name her wife
    but I agree with God ur name sounds just as nice
    And only way I had the nerve 2 tell u this
    was 2 spit it thru this mic
    2 bad i still aint your man right?


    but thats why they say love is blind,
    I jus pray u open your eyes
     
  2. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    deeply felt and well pose'd to thy loveth , try droppin it in a few stanza
    and this piece would stand out tall ....love the flow of it .....................
     
  3. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I agree with Rich, and now that you divided the piece into stanzas the flow has been enhanced. In the first line, the only purpose I could see for the word Bullets, was that it rhymes with "fullest" at the end of the third line.

    Other than that, I love the word play, like in this stanza:

    "and if u wanna front... like u not coo wit God Thas fine
    but when we hug scars leave a trail were wings left behind
    And if you won't let me Touch u...
    than ima clutch u in my rhymes
    cuz you truely priceless! ina world that glorifies dimes!"

    Enjoyed your flow, poet.
     
  4. Desert Storm

    Desert Storm Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    There's a lot in the poem and I like the rhymes so if it's like a spoken word or rap, I could see this flowing. I'm not a proffessional poet, I'm still learning about how to write. I think that the message that you want to convey is definately clear. This is good. I liked it.

    Desert Storm
     
  5. mizjoice

    mizjoice Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I enjoyed this poem a lot. Wasn't expecting for the lady to be attached.....to someone else. (something about unfulfilled desire......!) good flow.
     
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